Brian Baylor is a resident of Shady Pines who supports Citizens United Negating Technology For Life and People's Safety. He claims that

“I’ve always had a healthy sexual appetite. Around the time I hit puberty, I became sexually fixated with my grandmother. I could not get her out of my mind. People told me it was wrong, but I honestly believed that they were lying. If it feels so right, how can it be wrong, right? Wrong! I heard about the interweb. I went online expecting to discover a whole secret society of people JUST like me who loved much elder relatives, and hoped that for the first time since I gave up fantasizing about my sister, I could feel normal. How wrong I was. No one is obsessed with their grandma aside from me. I am a complete freak, and completely alone. The internet has ruined EVERYTHING. The worst of it is I STILL LOVE HER!”