- "Go and introduce a bat to his face! Then take his car, respray it. I want compensation for this insult!"
- ―Luigi, angry with the man who has been introducing SPANK to his prostitutes.
Don't Spank Ma Bitch Up is a mission in Grand Theft Auto III given to protagonist Claude by club owner Luigi Goterelli through Mickey Hamfists, at his club in the Red Light District, Portland Island, Liberty City.
Claude drops by Luigi's Sex Club 7 looking for more work, and is met by the co-manager Mickey Hamfists. Hamfists hands Claude a letter from Luigi, who asks Claude to take out a drug dealer at Portland Harbor.
Mickey Hamfists : Luigi said to, to give you this so... here, here take it.
Luigi Goterelli : There is a new high on the street, goes by the name of spank. Some wiseguy's been introducing this trash to my girls down Portland Harbor. Go and introduce a bat to his face! Then take his car, respray it. I want compensation for this insult!
Claude picks up the baseball bat from outside Woody's Topless Bar and drives to Portland Harbor, where he kills the drug dealer. Claude then takes his car to the Pay 'n' Spray in the Red Light District, before driving it to Luigi's lock-up in Portland View.
In order to complete the mission the player must:
- Pick up the bat
- Go to Portland Harbor
- Kill the dealer
- Take his car and get it resprayed
- Stash the car in Luigi's lockup
- The name of this mission is a reference to the song "Smack My Bitch Up " by the band The Prodigy.
- The player is not required to pick up the bat. An easier way of killing the crack dealer is to enter the docks in a car without braking, then slamming head-on into the dealer.
- Even though Claude reads the whole message, there is still writting on the back. There may have been more to the letter that was cut, or this could just be a minor error.
- This is Mickey's only speaking appearance.
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