Changes: Ernesto Asaltacunas

Revision as of 17:35, 22 March 2015

“

9 inches, 7 houses, 28 cars... I've always been about the stats and I'm all in favor of anything that encourages my fans to watch me more closely. I love the fact that grown men now fantasize about me just as much as the young girls. It's a turn-on...

”

— Ernesto, on Fantasyleaguebatswingers.com.

Ernesto Asaltacunas is a celebrity in the Grand Theft Auto series, who appears in Grand Theft Auto IV.

Biography

Ernesto Asaltacunas, born in Santa Clara, Cuba, is the star power pitcher for the Liberty Swingers and has a history of dating very young girls, including thirteen year old heiress Jill Von Crastenburg. It is implied that Asaltacunas is a pedophile. He has been arrested on two occasions: in 2005 for a criminal sex act on a minor and then in 2006 for possession of a controlled substance (namely steroids). He was also caught with child pornography, although charges were later dropped, and was the central figure in a 2006 doping scandal at the Liberty Swingers.

Asaltacunas is partially a parody of twin brothers Jose Canseco and Ozzie Canseco, both Cuban baseball players who used steroids (but never accused of pedophilia). Jose, more notably, was also part of a steroid scandal in 2005 after he accused Mark McGwire and other former teammates of steroid use in his autobiography.

LCPD Database record

Surname:	Asaltacunas
First Name:	Ernesto
Age:	27
Place of Birth:	Santa Clara, Cuba

Affiliations:

N/A

Criminal Record:

2005 - Criminal Sexual Act: Minor
2006 - Possession Controlled Substance: Steroids

Notes:

Star Power Pitcher for the Liberty Swingers.
History of dating very young girls.
Believed to have had a relationship with teen heiress Jill Von Crastenburg.
Caught in the possession of child pornography but charges were dropped.
Central figure in a 2006 doping scandal at the Liberty Swingers.

Trivia

Asaltacunas means "Cradle Robber" in Spanish and is a slang term referring people who date or have sexual relations with people under 18, referring to his pedophilia.

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† denotes Deceased, Italics denotes a status determined by the player's choice Characters in GTA IV \| Category:Characters in GTA IV \| Grand Theft Auto IV \| Category:Characters

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
+{{Infobox character
+|name = Ernesto Asaltacunas
+|image = Unknown.png
+|games = [[Grand Theft Auto IV]]
+|home = [[Liberty City (HD Universe)|Liberty City]]
+|gender = M
+|nationality = [[File:Flag of Cuba.svg.png|22px|link=Cuba]] [[Cuba|Cuban]]
+|dob = [[1981]]
+|voice = None
+|businesses = Baseball player for [[Liberty Swingers]]
+|pob = [[Cuba|Santa Clara, Cuba]]
+|status = Alive}}
 {{Quote|9 inches, 7 houses, 28 cars... I've always been about the stats and I'm all in favor of anything that encourages my fans to watch me more closely. I love the fact that grown men now fantasize about me just as much as the young girls. It's a turn-on...|Ernesto, on [[Fantasyleaguebatswingers.com]].}}
-'''Ernesto Asaltacunas''' is a character in ''[[Grand Theft Auto IV]]''.
+'''Ernesto Asaltacunas''' is a [[Wave of Celebrity in the GTA IV Era|celebrity]] in  the [[Grand Theft Auto]] series, who appears in ''[[Grand Theft Auto IV]]''.
-Asaltacunas, born in Santa Clara, [[Cuba]], is the star power pitcher for the [[Liberty Swingers]] and has a history of dating very young girls, including thirteen year old heiress [[Jill Von Crastenburg]]. It is implied that Asaltacunas is a pedophile. He has been arrested on two occasions: in [[2005]] for a criminal sex act on a minor and then in [[2006]] for possession of a controlled substance (namely steroids). He was also caught with child pornography, although charges were later dropped, and was the central figure in a [[2006]] doping scandal at the Liberty Swingers.
+==Biography==
-Asaltacunas is partially a parody of twin brothers [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jose_Canseco Jose Canseco] and [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ozzie_Canseco Ozzie Canseco], both Cuban baseball players who used steroids (but never accused of pedophilia). Jose, more notably, was also part of a steroid scandal in 2005 after he accused [[wp:Mark McGwire|Mark McGwire]] and other former teammates of steroid use in his autobiography.
+Ernesto Asaltacunas, born in [[Cuba|Santa Clara]], [[Cuba]], is the star power pitcher for the [[Liberty Swingers]] and has a history of dating very young girls, including thirteen year old heiress [[Jill Von Crastenburg]]. It is implied that Asaltacunas is a pedophile. He has been arrested on two occasions: in [[2005]] for a criminal sex act on a minor and then in [[2006]] for possession of a controlled substance (namely steroids). He was also caught with child pornography, although charges were later dropped, and was the central figure in a [[2006]] doping scandal at the Liberty Swingers.
+Asaltacunas is partially a parody of twin brothers [[wp:Jose Canseco|Jose Canseco]] and [[wp:Ozzie Canseco|Ozzie Canseco]], both Cuban baseball players who used steroids (but never accused of pedophilia). Jose, more notably, was also part of a steroid scandal in 2005 after he accused [[wp:Mark McGwire|Mark McGwire]] and other former teammates of steroid use in his autobiography.
-==LCPD Database information==
-'''Surname''': Asaltacunas
+==LCPD Database record==
-'''First Name''': Ernesto
+<center>
-'''Age''': 27
+{|style="width: 650px; padding:20px; background-color:#000033;"
+|
-'''Place of Birth''': Santa Clara, Cuba
+[[File:MugshotNoData-GTAIV.jpg|right|200px]]
+{|
-'''Affiliations''': N/A
+|width=140|'''Surname''':||Asaltacunas
+|-
-'''Criminal Record''':
+|'''First Name''':||Ernesto
-*[[2005]] - Criminal Sexual Act: Minor
+|-
-*[[2006]] - Possession Controlled Substance: Steroids
+|'''Age''':||27
+|-
-'''Notes''':
+|'''Place of Birth''':||Santa Clara, Cuba
+|}
+{|
+|- valign="top"
+|width=120|'''Affiliations''':||
+*N/A
+|- valign="top"
+|'''Criminal Record''':||
+*2005 - Criminal Sexual Act: Minor
+*2006 - Possession Controlled Substance: Steroids
+<br />
+|}
+{|
+|- valign="top"
+|width=120|'''Notes''':||
 *Star Power Pitcher for the Liberty Swingers.
 *History of dating very young girls.
@@ Line 27: / Line 54: @@
 *Caught in the possession of child pornography but charges were dropped.
 *Central figure in a [[2006]] doping scandal at the Liberty Swingers.
+|}
+|}
+</center>
 ==Trivia==
-*Asaltacunas means "''Cradle Robber''" in Spanish and is a slang term referring people who date or have sexual relations with people under 18, ironically referring to his pedophilia.
+*Asaltacunas means "''Cradle Robber''" in Spanish and is a slang term referring people who date or have sexual relations with people under 18, referring to his pedophilia.
+==Navigation==
-{{DEFAULTSORT:Asaltacunas, Ernesto}}
 {{GTA IV Characters}}
+{{DEFAULTSORT:Asaltacunas, Ernesto}}
 [[hu:Ernesto Asaltacunas]]
 [[Category:Characters|Asaltacunas, Ernesto]]
 [[Category:Characters in GTA IV|Asaltacunas, Ernesto]]
+[[Category:Unseen characters]]

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Changes: Ernesto Asaltacunas

Revision as of 17:35, 22 March 2015

Contents

Biography

LCPD Database record

Trivia

Navigation