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(LCPD Database information: fixed 2 typos)
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'''Ernesto Asaltacunas''' (born in Santa Clara, Cuba) is a twenty-seven year old resident of [[Liberty City in GTA IV|Liberty City]]. He is the star power pitcher for the [[Liberty Swingers]] and has a history of dating very young girls, including thirteen year old heiress [[Jill Von Crastenburg]]. It is implied that Asaltacunas is a pedophile. He has been arrested on two occasions: in [[2005]] for a criminal sex act on a minor and then in [[2006]] for possession of a controlled substance (namely steroids). He was also caught with child pornography, although charges were later dropped, and was the central figure in a 2006 doping scandal at the Liberty Swingers.
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'''Ernesto Asaltacunas''' (born in Santa Clara, Cuba) is a twenty-seven year old resident of [[Liberty City in GTA IV|Liberty City]]. He is the star power pitcher for the [[Liberty Swingers]] and has a history of dating very young girls, including thirteen year old heiress [[Jill Von Crastenburg]]. It is implied that Asaltacunas is a pedophile. He has been arrested on two occasions: in [[2005]] for a criminal sex act on a minor and then in [[2006]] for possession of a controlled substance (namely steroids). He was also caught with child pornography, although charges were later dropped, and was the central figure in a [[2006]] doping scandal at the Liberty Swingers.
   
 
Asaltacunas is partially a parody of twin brothers [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jose_Canseco Jose Canseco] and [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ozzie_Canseco Ozzie Canseco], both Cuban baseball players who used steroids (but never accused of pedophilia). Jose, more notably, was also part of a steroid scandal in 2005 after he accused [[wp:Mark McGwire|Mark McGwire]] and other former teammates of steroid use in his autobiography.
 
Asaltacunas is partially a parody of twin brothers [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jose_Canseco Jose Canseco] and [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ozzie_Canseco Ozzie Canseco], both Cuban baseball players who used steroids (but never accused of pedophilia). Jose, more notably, was also part of a steroid scandal in 2005 after he accused [[wp:Mark McGwire|Mark McGwire]] and other former teammates of steroid use in his autobiography.
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'''Criminal Record''':
 
'''Criminal Record''':
*2005 - Criminal Sexual Act: Minor
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*[[2005]] - Criminal Sexual Act: Minor
*2006 - Possession Controlled Substance: Steroids
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*[[2006]] - Possession Controlled Substance: Steroids
   
 
'''Notes''':
 
'''Notes''':
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*Believed to have had a relationship with teen heiress Jill Von Crastenburg.
 
*Believed to have had a relationship with teen heiress Jill Von Crastenburg.
 
*Caught in the possession of child pornography but charges were dropped.
 
*Caught in the possession of child pornography but charges were dropped.
*Central figure in a 2006 doping scandal at the Liberty Swingers.
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*Central figure in a [[2006]] doping scandal at the Liberty Swingers.
   
 
==Trivia==
 
==Trivia==

Revision as of 23:13, June 18, 2013

Ernesto Asaltacunas (born in Santa Clara, Cuba) is a twenty-seven year old resident of Liberty City. He is the star power pitcher for the Liberty Swingers and has a history of dating very young girls, including thirteen year old heiress Jill Von Crastenburg. It is implied that Asaltacunas is a pedophile. He has been arrested on two occasions: in 2005 for a criminal sex act on a minor and then in 2006 for possession of a controlled substance (namely steroids). He was also caught with child pornography, although charges were later dropped, and was the central figure in a 2006 doping scandal at the Liberty Swingers.

Asaltacunas is partially a parody of twin brothers Jose Canseco and Ozzie Canseco, both Cuban baseball players who used steroids (but never accused of pedophilia). Jose, more notably, was also part of a steroid scandal in 2005 after he accused Mark McGwire and other former teammates of steroid use in his autobiography.

LCPD Database information

Surname: Asaltacunas

First Name: Ernesto

Age: 27

Place of Birth: Santa Clara, Cuba

Affiliations: N/A

Criminal Record:

  • 2005 - Criminal Sexual Act: Minor
  • 2006 - Possession Controlled Substance: Steroids

Notes:

  • Star Power Pitcher for the Liberty Swingers.
  • History of dating very young girls.
  • Believed to have had a relationship with teen heiress Jill Von Crastenburg.
  • Caught in the possession of child pornography but charges were dropped.
  • Central figure in a 2006 doping scandal at the Liberty Swingers.

Trivia

  • Asaltacunas means "Bassinet Assaulter" in Spanish, possibly referring to his pedophilia.

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