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Ernesto Asaltacunas

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Revision as of 13:21, August 8, 2013 by Ilan xd (Talk | contribs)

Ernesto Asaltacunas is a character in Grand Theft Auto IV.

Asaltacunas, born in Santa Clara, Cuba, is the star power pitcher for the Liberty Swingers and has a history of dating very young girls, including thirteen year old heiress Jill Von Crastenburg. It is implied that Asaltacunas is a pedophile. He has been arrested on two occasions: in 2005 for a criminal sex act on a minor and then in 2006 for possession of a controlled substance (namely steroids). He was also caught with child pornography, although charges were later dropped, and was the central figure in a 2006 doping scandal at the Liberty Swingers.

Asaltacunas is partially a parody of twin brothers Jose Canseco and Ozzie Canseco, both Cuban baseball players who used steroids (but never accused of pedophilia). Jose, more notably, was also part of a steroid scandal in 2005 after he accused Mark McGwire and other former teammates of steroid use in his autobiography.

LCPD Database information

Surname: Asaltacunas

First Name: Ernesto

Age: 27

Place of Birth: Santa Clara, Cuba

Affiliations: N/A

Criminal Record:

  • 2005 - Criminal Sexual Act: Minor
  • 2006 - Possession Controlled Substance: Steroids


  • Star Power Pitcher for the Liberty Swingers.
  • History of dating very young girls.
  • Believed to have had a relationship with teen heiress Jill Von Crastenburg.
  • Caught in the possession of child pornography but charges were dropped.
  • Central figure in a 2006 doping scandal at the Liberty Swingers.


  • Asaltacunas means "Bassinet Assaulter" in Spanish and is a slang refering people who dates or has sexual relations with much younger people, possibly referring to his pedophilia.

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