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Revision as of 09:27, 18 September 2010

Eugene White is a journalist for the Weazel News in Grand Theft Auto IV. She writes many articles for Weazel News' website www.weazelnews.com.

Online Articles

Dirty Bomb Threat

Could detonate at any moment

Weazelphoto 1

Anti-terrorism police battled angry residents and public opinion as they shut bridges and tunnels in an effort to protect freedom and democracy after an Internet rumor blog warned of an impending dirty bomb attack in Liberty City. Civil liberties groups, upset since the recent repeal of the Fourth Amendment was deemed necessary to save the country, decried the closures as an overreaction.



But who will be laughing when a cheap nuke goes off and residents are radioactive for 10,000 years? This is not a joke or a tofu love-in. This is a war. It is a war we can win if we take precautions, overreact, bomb innocents overseas and protect the homeland. That's what America is about and, if you don't like it, leave. Please. No, just go. Out.

Crime Up, Foreigners to Blame. Again

No surprises in new report

Weazelphoto 6

Only the terminally unobservant have failed to notice the remarkable rise in violent crime in Liberty City over the past few weeks and months. And only weak-minded liberals are afraid to discuss the causes of this crime wave - immigration. As usual, the liberal elite are banging on about the causes of crime - our right to bear arms, not immigration. Anyone with half a brain knows gun control should be relaxed in this city immediately so people can defend themselves from the border jumpers.



Most criminals are foreigners and vice versa. And the sooner we all acknowledge this, the sooner we can be safe in our city, and focus on what matters, like telling foreigners how to run their countries and fighting abstract concepts.

How Could This Bee?

Foul mouthed kids ruin family entertainment

Weazelphoto 47

We've all covertly mouthed something to someone, such as "Let's get out of here," or "I'm going to kill you," or "Hurry, before my husband gets back." But lip reading isn't just important for communicating quests for infidelity. It is a fundamental part of the academic process, and this year it was being celebrated at the inaugural Lip Reading Bee.



Unfortunately, what should have been an afternoon of wholesome family entertainment, ended in scandal and therapy. Parents and organizers were horrified at what is being called the "C word event" after an angry student took out frustrations on the judges whom he also called pedophiles.

We at Weazel News say fair enough. In England they call each other the C word all the time. Here it is somehow held in high esteem as the argument ender - the word that is at the point of no return and makes her leave you for good. No word on if the Lip Reading Bee will continue.

[ ve ]Characters in Grand Theft Auto IV
ProtagonistNiko Bellic
Central charactersRoman Bellic | Little Jacob | Dimitri Rascalov† | Jimmy Pegorino† | Bernie Crane | Darko Brevic
Main charactersMallorie Bardas | Vladimir Glebov† | Mikhail Faustin† | Brucie Kibbutz | Manny Escuela† | Elizabeta Torres | Patrick McReary | Francis McReary | Gerald McReary | Derrick McReary† | Kate McReary | Playboy X | Dwayne Forge | Ray Boccino† | Phil Bell | United Liberty Paper contact | Jon Gravelli
Radio DJsBeatrix Fontaine | DJ Green Lantern | DJ Mister Cee | DJ Premier | François K | Roy Ayers | Femi Kuti | Gary Sheen | Jane Labrador | Jeffron James | Lazlow Jones | Marcel LeMuir | Roy Haynes | Ryan McFallon | Karl Lagerfeld† | Jimmy Gestapo | Iggy Pop | Bobby Konders | Juliette Lewis | Daddy Yankee | Carl Bradshaw | Vaughn Harper† | Ruslana Lyzhychko
Supporting charactersMichelle/Karen | Ilyena Faustin | Isaac Roth† | Kim Young-Guk† | Ray Bulgarin† | Jay Hamilton† | Jim Fitzgerald† | Johnny Klebitz† | Gordon Sargent | Michael Keane† | Maureen McReary | Luis Fernando Lopez | Anthony Corrado† | Stevie | The Fixer | Tony Prince | Bryce Dawkins | Eugene Reaper† | Mohammed | Zorba Philippidis
Minor charactersAdam Dimayev† | Aiden O'Malley† | Alejandra | Alonzo | Andrei† | Angela Allan† | Angie Pegorino | Anna Faustin | Anthony† | Benny† | Bledar Morina† | Bobby Jefferson | Brett | Bucky Sligo† | Catch | Charlie† | Charles Matteo† | Christopher Tibbits | Chuck Williams-Jones | City Official | Clarence's Associate† | Dardan Petrela† | Dave Bosoy† | Doctor Rosem | Eduard Borodin† | Felipe | Frank Garone† | Frankie Gallo | Jason Michaels† | Jayvon Simson† | Jermaine Andrews | Jimmy | John | John Barbosa† | Joseph DiLeo† | Joseph Kaplan | Kalem† | Karen (Lawyers) | Katerina | Lamon | Larissa Slalom | Lavar Davis† | Lenny Petrovic† | Lori Williams-Jones† | Luca Silvestri† | Lyle Rivas† | Marco Bonnaro† | Mark† | Marlon Bridges† | Mickey | Mitch | Mori Green† | Mr. Fuk's Rice Box manager | Muscovski | Oleg Minkov† | Peter Marchetti† | Priest | Sal† | Sheila Stafford† | Shirley† | Slimeball | Talbot Daniels | Teddy Benavidez† | Thai Prostitute | The Blackmailer† | The Doctor | The Hater† | The Kidnapper† | The Truck Driver† | Tom Goldberg† | Tom Rivas† | Tony† | Tony Black† | Trunchez Brothers† | Unnamed Russian Goon | Vasily | Vera | Mason Waylon | Wedding Assassin | Wilson Taylor Sr.† | Unnamed Lost MC Biker† | Sergei
GirlfriendsAlexandra Chilton | Carmen Ortiz | Kiki Jenkins
Random charactersBrian Meech | Mel | Real Badman | Hossan Ramzy | Sara | Pathos | Jeff Harlingford | Marnie Allen | Eddie Low† | Cherise Glover | Clarence Little† | Gracie Ancelotti | Ilyena Faustin | Ivan Bytchkov
Petrovic BratvaAnton† | Boris† | Georgi† | Igor | Ivo† | Kenny Petrovic | Lenny Petrovic† | Mrs. Petrovic | Rami Yalon | Sergey† | Vanya | Vasil
Most Wanted criminalsAlonso Goralski† | Antonio Rivette† | Barry Lamora† | Bert Reker† | Christov Mahonvic† | Danny Hatmaker† | Darren Covey† | Fernando Tisdel† | Freddy Paparo† | Frederick Harrison† | Glenn Lushbaugh† | Jimmy Kand† | Juan Haimo† | Keenan Burdett† | Leo Brodell† | Lino Friddell† | Marty Boldenow† | Maxwell Caughlin† | Mervin Eskuchen† | Noel Katsuda† | Phil Bacerra† | Preston Pecinovsky† | Rodrigo Stavnes† | Rodney McEniry† | Scott Guzowski† | Sergi Szerbin† | Shon Kikuchi† | Simon Nashly† | Tommy Francovic† | Tyler Pickrel
Mentioned charactersChan Jaoming† | Fifteen Man Squad | George Lawton | Hsin Jaoming | Huang Lee | Joe Lawton | Lester Arnold | Lester Leroc | Marko | Mr. Wong | Niko's Brother† | Phyllis | Rudy D'Avanzo† | Rudy D'Avanzo's Father† | Thomas Piretta | Wu "Kenny" Lee† | Zhou Ming
Other charactersRob | Vicki | Yusuf Amir | Troy Harder | Lola Del Rio | Jase | Milica Bellic | Roman's Child | Mila Tadic | Jerry Kapowitz | Horatio Humboldt | Gloria Hole | Steve | Kelly
Beta charactersAlyssa Funke | Bradly Narlock | Cletus Luzell | Dick Godley | Marcel Hevas | Marty Connor | Raymond Alberga | Tommy Francini | Wilbert Wetterer
† denotes Deceased, Italics denotes a status determined by the player's choice
Characters in GTA IV | Category:Characters in GTA IV | Grand Theft Auto IV | Category:Characters