Changes: Jill Von Crastenburg

Revision as of 02:45, 30 August 2014

Jill Von Crastenburg is a celebrity in the Grand Theft Auto series, who is mentioned in both Grand Theft Auto IV and Grand Theft Auto V.

Biography

Background and Events of GTA IV

Jill Von Crastenburg was born in Liberty City, into the Von Crastenburg Family, one of the richest families in the world. Jill is a parody of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie (but as a teenager). She is the best friend of Cloe Parker, Since her 11th birthday, she has been internationally famous for her extreme wealth and presence on the Liberty City party circuit. When she was 12, she was sent to 15 expensive private schools at the same time after she could walk again after her father gave her diamond miners for her 12th birthday. She is frequently hounded by paparazzi - the most outlandish examples include her being told to re-enact a tantrum because cameramen were not at the scene, and media attention for her doing the most mundane activities (buying STD cream in a Downtown Los Santos supermarket), according to Our Own Reality, Jill is apparently one of the world's most photographed celebrities and suffers from an unspecified eating disorder. She is extremely spoiled and self-absorbed. Jill has suffered from a nervous breakdown (in which she was placed into a psych ward for observation, though it was speculated that this was just a publicity stunt for her upcoming reality show)

In early 2008, she began a three-week relationship with Cuban baseball player Ernesto Asaltacunas. At the beginning of GTA IV she left him for a new boyfriend, and a sex tape was released of her cheating on him by giving oral sex to an Opium Nights valet, as her boyfriend paid the bar tab in the very next room. The tape quickly circulated on Electric Tit but was removed from the site.

Events of GTA V

Although not seen physically in the actual game, Jill Von Crastenburg makes her presence known on the website Bleeter. A reading of her Bleets reveals her thoughts on wondering if she's grown up too fast and if 18 is too early to retire. Her Bleeter picture humorously shows that she has aged rather drastically.

There is four hotels in Los Santos called "Von Crastenburg Hotel". She, along with her family, might own it, however this is unconfirmed. Her name appears on one of the many stars on the sidewalk in Downtown Vinewood.

Age

By most sources she is only 13 years old during GTA IV, though her sexual activity, popularity among the internet porn crowd and admittance to bars makes this highly unlikely. According to Our Own Reality she is a college dropout, but they confirm that she is still in her teens.

Assuming that she is 13, she is most likely a caricature of modern children (especially wealthy and famous) growing up too fast. The scenario is also likely meant to poke fun at the unhealthy sexual images of Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus and the Olsen Twins, while they were still under 18. Pedophilia is a topic discussed in the game.

Fame and wealth

Jill vc gta4 — Jill buying lotion at a Los Santos supermarket

The Von Crastenburg Family own many large homes. One of the many residences is a 45 bedroom mansion along in Westdyke, Alderney. It is on Owl Creek Ave, next door to Jill's best friend Cloe Parker. Jill's own bedroom features murals of erotic fairy tales (i.e. "Robin Hood taking it in the can from the big bad wolf") painted by celebrity artists Simon & Nigel, and she owns a flying rabbit as a pet. Despite amassing one of the largest fortunes in the world, the Von Crastenburgs do not pay taxes by claiming to practice their religion inside their house, according to I'm Rich.

Jill is also set to host a new reality TV show titled America's Sexiest Terrorist.

LCPD Database record

Surname:	Von Crastenburg
First Name:	Jill
Age:	13
Place of Birth:	Algonquin, Liberty City

Affiliations:

N/A

Criminal Record:

2006 - Possession Controlled Substance: Cocaine
2007 - Public Lewdness

Notes:

Rich heiress and Algonquin socialite.
Regular on the Liberty City party circuit.
History of drug and alcohol abuse.
Recently had a nervous breakdown.
Suffers from eating disorders
A sex tape, believed to feature Von Crastenburg, was recently circulated on the internet.

Trivia

Jill Von Crastenburg is slightly based on Paris Hilton with her family being well known for their hotels.
She is the only minor listed in the LCPD Database.
Jill can be seen on the right-side of the I'm Rich billboard in Star Junction.
She attended Bullworth Academy at some point in her life.
She is apparently one of the most photographed celebrities in the world.
Her family, the Von Crastenburgs, are said to be morally destitute and don't pay any taxes, making them super rich.
She's best friends with Cloe Parker, despite the fact that Cloe is eleven years older than her.
Jill is one of two minors to appear in the series, the others being Mary-Beth Williams.
During the Vinewood Star Tours in GTA V, the tour guide says that Jill made some sex videos with a Romanian shot up team in the streets of Los Santos.

Navigation

[ v • e ]Characters in Grand Theft Auto IV
Protagonist	Niko Bellic
Central characters	Roman Bellic \| Little Jacob \| Dimitri Rascalov† \| Jimmy Pegorino† \| Bernie Crane \| Darko Brevic
Main characters	Mallorie Bardas \| Vladimir Glebov† \| Mikhail Faustin† \| Brucie Kibbutz \| Manny Escuela† \| Elizabeta Torres \| Patrick McReary \| Francis McReary \| Gerald McReary \| Derrick McReary† \| Kate McReary \| Playboy X \| Dwayne Forge \| Ray Boccino† \| Phil Bell \| United Liberty Paper contact \| Jon Gravelli†
Radio DJs	Beatrix Fontaine \| DJ Green Lantern \| DJ Mister Cee†\| DJ Premier \| François K \| Roy Ayers \| Femi Kuti \| Gary Sheen \| Jane Labrador \| Jeffron James \| Lazlow Jones \| Marcel LeMuir \| Roy Haynes \| Ryan McFallon \| Karl Lagerfeld† \| Jimmy Gestapo \| Iggy Pop \| Bobby Konders \| Juliette Lewis \| Daddy Yankee \| Carl Bradshaw \| Vaughn Harper† \| Ruslana Lyzhychko
Supporting characters	Michelle/Karen \| Ilyena Faustin \| Isaac Roth† \| Kim Young-Guk† \| Ray Bulgarin† \| Jay Hamilton† \| Jim Fitzgerald† \| Johnny Klebitz† \| Gordon Sargent \| Michael Keane† \| Maureen McReary \| Luis Fernando Lopez \| Anthony Corrado† \| Stevie \| The Fixer \| Tony Prince \| Bryce Dawkins \| Eugene Reaper† \| Mohammed \| Zorba Philippidis†
Minor characters	Adam Dimayev† \| Aiden O'Malley† \| Alejandra \| Alonzo \| Andrei† \| Angela Allan† \| Angie Pegorino \| Anna Faustin \| Anthony† \| Benny† \| Bledar Morina† \| Bobby Jefferson \| Brett \| Bucky Sligo† \| Catch \| Charlie† \| Charles Matteo† \| Christopher Tibbits \| Chuck Williams-Jones \| City Official \| Clarence's Associate† \| Dardan Petrela† \| Dave Bosoy† \| Doctor Rosem \| Eduard Borodin† \| Felipe \| Frankie Garone† \| Frankie Gallo \| Jason Michaels† \| Jayvon Simson† \| Jermaine Andrews \| Jimmy \| John \| John Barbosa† \| Joseph DiLeo† \| Joseph Kaplan \| Kalem† \| Karen (Lawyers) \| Katerina \| Lamon \| Larissa Slalom \| Lavar Davis† \| Lenny Petrovic† \| Lori Williams-Jones† \| Luca Silvestri† \| Lyle Rivas† \| Marco Bonnaro† \| Mark† \| Marlon Bridges† \| Mickey \| Mitch \| Mori Green† \| Mr. Fuk's Rice Box manager \| Muscovski \| Oleg Minkov† \| Peter Marchetti† \| Priest \| Sal† \| Sheila Stafford† \| Shirley† \| Slimeball \| Talbot Daniels \| Teddy Benavidez† \| Thai Prostitute \| The Blackmailer† \| The Doctor \| The Hater† \| The Kidnapper† \| The Truck Driver† \| Tom Goldberg† \| Tom Rivas† \| Tony† \| Tony Black† \| Trunchez Brothers† \| Unnamed Russian Goon \| Vasily \| Vera \| Mason Waylon \| Wedding Assassin \| Wilson Taylor Sr.† \| Unnamed Lost MC Biker† \| Sergei \| Ed the Mate
Girlfriends	Alexandra Chilton \| Carmen Ortiz \| Kiki Jenkins
Random characters	Brian Meech \| Mel \| Real Badman \| Hossan Ramzy \| Sara \| Pathos \| Jeff Harlingford \| Marnie Allen \| Eddie Low† \| Cherise Glover \| Clarence Little† \| Gracie Ancelotti \| Ilyena Faustin \| Ivan Bytchkov
Petrovic Bratva	Anton† \| Boris† \| Georgi† \| Igor \| Ivo† \| Kenny Petrovic \| Lenny Petrovic† \| Mrs. Petrovic \| Rami Yalon \| Sergey† \| Vanya \| Vasil†
Most Wanted criminals	Alonso Goralski† \| Antonio Rivette† \| Barry Lamora† \| Bert Reker† \| Christov Mahonvic† \| Danny Hatmaker† \| Darren Covey† \| Fernando Tisdel† \| Freddy Paparo† \| Frederick Harrison† \| Glenn Lushbaugh† \| Jimmy Kand† \| Juan Haimo† \| Keenan Burdett† \| Leo Brodell† \| Lino Friddell† \| Marty Boldenow† \| Maxwell Caughlin† \| Mervin Eskuchen† \| Noel Katsuda† \| Phil Bacerra† \| Preston Pecinovsky† \| Rodrigo Stavnes† \| Rodney McEniry† \| Scott Guzowski† \| Sergi Szerbin† \| Shon Kikuchi† \| Simon Nashly† \| Tommy Francovic† \| Tyler Pickrel†
Mentioned characters	Chan Jaoming† \| Fifteen Man Squad \| George Lawton \| Hsin Jaoming \| Huang Lee \| Joe Lawton \| Lester Arnold \| Lester Leroc \| Marko \| Mr. Wong \| Niko's Brother† \| Phyllis \| Rudy D'Avanzo† \| Rudy D'Avanzo's Father† \| Thomas Piretta \| Wu "Kenny" Lee† \| Zhou Ming†
Other characters	Rob \| Vicki \| Yusuf Amir \| Troy Harder \| Lola Del Rio \| Jase \| Milica Bellic \| Roman's Child \| Mila Tadic \| Jerry Kapowitz \| Horatio Humboldt \| Gloria Hole \| Steve \| Kelly
Beta characters	Alyssa Funke \| Bradly Narlock \| Cletus Luzell \| Dick Godley \| Marcel Hevas \| Marty Connor \| Raymond Alberga \| Tommy Francini \| Wilbert Wetterer
† denotes Deceased, Italics denotes a status determined by the player's choice Characters in GTA IV \| Category:Characters in GTA IV \| Grand Theft Auto IV \| Category:Characters

]

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 {{infobox character||image = JillVonCrastenburg-GTAIV.JPG
-|games = [[Grand Theft Auto IV]]<br/>[[Grand Theft Auto V]] (unconfirmed)
+|games = [[Grand Theft Auto IV]]<br/>[[Grand Theft Auto V]] (Via Bleeter)
 |name = Jill Von Crastenburg
 |gender = F
 |dob = [[1995]]
 |pob = [[Liberty City in HD Universe|Liberty City]]
-|home = [[Westdyke]]
+|home = [[Westdyke]], [[Alderney]]
+|nationality = {{Flagicon|United States of America|Flag of the United States}} [[United States of America|American]]
-|nationality = American
 |affiliations = [[Cloe Parker]]<br>[[Kayla Paulo]]
 |vehicles = [[Turismo]]}}
-'''Jill Von Crastenburg''' is a character who is mentioned in [[Grand Theft Auto IV]].
+'''Jill Von Crastenburg''' is a [[Wave of Celebrity in the GTA IV Era|celebrity]] in the [[Grand Theft Auto]] series, who is mentioned in both [[Grand Theft Auto IV]] and [[Grand Theft Auto V]].
+==Biography==
-==Background and personality==
-===''GTA IV''===
+===Background and Events of ''GTA IV''===
-Jill Von Crastenburg was born in [[Liberty City]], into the [[Von Crastenburg Family]], one of the richest families in the world. Jill is a parody of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie (but as a teenager). She is the best friend of [[Cloe Parker]], Since her 11th birthday, she has been internationally famous for her extreme wealth and presence on the [[Liberty City in GTA IV Era|Liberty City]] party circuit. When she was 12, she was sent to 15 expensive private schools at the same time after she could walk again after her father gave her diamond miners for her 12th birthday. She is frequently hounded by paparazzi - the most outlandish examples include her being told to re-enact a tantrum because cameramen were not at the scene, and media attention for her doing the most mundane activities (buying STD cream in a [[Downtown Los Santos (GTA V)|downtown Los Santos supermarket), according to [[Our Own Reality]], Jill is apparently one of the world's most photographed celebrities and suffers from an unspecified eating disorder. She is extremely spoiled and self-absorbed. Jill has suffered from a nervous breakdown (in which she was placed into a psych ward for observation, though it was speculated that this was just a publicity stunt for her upcoming reality show)
+Jill Von Crastenburg was born in [[Liberty City in HD Universe|Liberty City]], into the [[Von Crastenburg Family]], one of the richest families in the world. Jill is a parody of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie (but as a teenager). She is the best friend of [[Cloe Parker]], Since her 11th birthday, she has been internationally famous for her extreme wealth and presence on the Liberty City party circuit. When she was 12, she was sent to 15 expensive private schools at the same time after she could walk again after her father gave her diamond miners for her 12th birthday. She is frequently hounded by paparazzi - the most outlandish examples include her being told to re-enact a tantrum because cameramen were not at the scene, and media attention for her doing the most mundane activities (buying STD cream in a [[Downtown Los Santos (HD Universe)|Downtown Los Santos]] supermarket), according to [[Our Own Reality]], Jill is apparently one of the world's most photographed celebrities and suffers from an unspecified eating disorder. She is extremely spoiled and self-absorbed. Jill has suffered from a nervous breakdown (in which she was placed into a psych ward for observation, though it was speculated that this was just a publicity stunt for her upcoming reality show)
-In early 2008, she began a three-week relationship with Cuban baseball player [[Ernesto Asaltacunas]]. At the beginning of GTA IV she left him for a new boyfriend, and a sex tape was released of her cheating on him by giving oral sex to an [[Opium Nights]] valet, as her boyfriend paid the bar tab in the very next room. The tape quickly circulated on [[electrictit.com|Electric Tit]] but was removed from the site.
+In early 2008, she began a three-week relationship with [[Cuba]]n baseball player [[Ernesto Asaltacunas]]. At the beginning of GTA IV she left him for a new boyfriend, and a sex tape was released of her cheating on him by giving oral sex to an [[Opium Nights]] valet, as her boyfriend paid the bar tab in the very next room. The tape quickly circulated on [[electrictit.com|Electric Tit]] but was removed from the site.
-===''GTA V''===
+===Events of ''GTA V''===
-[[File:VonCrastenburg-GTAV.jpg|220px|right|border]]
+[[File:VonCrastenburg-GTAV.jpg|220px|right|thumb]]
-Although not seen during the actual game, Jill Von Crastenburg is using the website [[Bleeter]] and her bleets can be read on it where she wonders if she's grown up too fast and if 18 is too early to retire.
+Although not seen physically in the actual game, Jill Von Crastenburg makes her presence known on the website [[Bleeter]]. A reading of her Bleets reveals her thoughts on wondering if she's grown up too fast and if 18 is too early to retire. Her Bleeter picture humorously shows that she has aged rather drastically.
-There is a hotel in [[Los Santos in HD Universe|Los Santos]] called "[[Von Crastenburg Hotel]]". She, along with her [[Von Crastenburg Family|family]], might own it, however this is unconfirmed. Her name appears on one of the many stars on the sidewalk of [[Downtown Vinewood]].
+There is four hotels in [[Los Santos (HD Universe)|Los Santos]] called "[[Von Crastenburg Hotel]]". She, along with her [[Von Crastenburg Family|family]], might own it, however this is unconfirmed. Her name appears on one of the many stars on the [[Vinewood Walk of Fame|sidewalk]] in [[Downtown Vinewood]].
-{{Clr}}
 ==Age==
 By most sources she is only 13 years old during GTA IV, though her sexual activity, popularity among the internet porn crowd and admittance to bars makes this highly unlikely. According to [[Our-own-reality.com|Our Own Reality]] she is a college dropout, but they confirm that she is still in her teens.
-Assuming that she is 13, she is most likely a caricature of modern children (especially wealthy and famous) growing up too fast. The scenario is also likely meant to poke fun at the unhealthy sexual images of [[wp:Lindsey Lohan|Lindsay Lohan]], [[wp:Hillary Duff|Hilary Duff]], [[wp:Miley Cyrus|Miley Cyrus]] and the [[wp:Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen|Olsen Twins]], while they were still under 18. Pedophilia is a topic discussed in the game.
+Assuming that she is 13, she is most likely a caricature of modern children (especially wealthy and famous) growing up too fast. The scenario is also likely meant to poke fun at the unhealthy sexual images of [[wp:Lindsey Lohan|Lindsay Lohan]], [[wp:Miley Cyrus|Miley Cyrus]] and the [[wp:Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen|Olsen Twins]], while they were still under 18. Pedophilia is a topic discussed in the game.
 ==Fame and wealth==
-[[File:Jill vc gta4.jpg|border|right|Jill buying lotion at a Los Santos supermarket]]
+[[File:Jill vc gta4.jpg|thumb|right|Jill buying lotion at a Los Santos supermarket]]
 The [[Von Crastenburg Family]] own many large homes. One of the many residences is a 45 bedroom mansion along in [[Westdyke]], [[Alderney]]. It is on [[Owl Creek Ave]], next door to Jill's best friend [[Cloe Parker]]. Jill's own bedroom features murals of erotic fairy tales (i.e. "Robin Hood taking it in the can from the big bad wolf") painted by celebrity artists Simon & Nigel, and she owns a flying rabbit as a pet. Despite amassing one of the largest fortunes in the world, the Von Crastenburgs do not pay taxes by claiming to practice their religion inside their house, according to [[I'm Rich]].
 Jill is also set to host a new reality TV show titled ''America's Sexiest Terrorist''.
-==LCPD Database information==
+==LCPD Database record==
-'''Surname''': Von Crastenburg
+<center>
-'''First Name''': Jill
+{|style="width: 650px; padding:20px; background-color:#000033;"
+|
-'''Age''': 13
+[[File:MugshotNoData-GTAIV.jpg|right|200px]]
+{|
-'''Place of Birth''': Algonquin, Liberty City
+|width=140|'''Surname''':||Von Crastenburg
+|-
-'''Affiliations''': N/A
+|'''First Name''':||Jill
+|-
-'''Criminal Record''':
+|'''Age''':||13
+|-
+|'''Place of Birth''':||Algonquin, Liberty City
+|}
+{|
+|- valign="top"
+|width=120|'''Affiliations''':||
+*N/A
+|- valign="top"
+|'''Criminal Record''':||
 *2006 - Possession Controlled Substance: Cocaine
 *2007 - Public Lewdness
+<br>
-'''Notes''':
+|}
+{|
+|- valign="top"
+|width=120|'''Notes''':||
 *Rich heiress and Algonquin socialite.
 *Regular on the Liberty City party circuit.
@@ Line 58: / Line 69: @@
 *Suffers from eating disorders
 *A sex tape, believed to feature Von Crastenburg, was recently circulated on the internet.
+|}
+|}
+</center>
 ==Trivia==
@@ Line 66: / Line 80: @@
 *She is apparently one of the most photographed celebrities in the world.
 *Her family, the [[Von Crastenburg Family|Von Crastenburgs]], are said to be morally destitute and don't pay any taxes, making them super rich.
-*She's best friends with [[Cloe Parker]], despite the fact that Cloe is eleven years older than her.
+*She's best friends with [[Cloe Parker]], despite the fact that Cloe is [[1984|eleven years older]] than her.
 *Jill is one of two minors to appear in the series, the others being [[Mary-Beth Williams]].
+*During the [[Vinewood Star Tours]] in GTA V, the tour guide says that Jill made some sex videos with a [[Romania]]n shot up team in the streets of [[Los Santos (HD Universe)|Los Santos]].
-{{Clr}}
+==Navigation==
 {{GTA IV Characters}}
-{{DEFAULTSORT:Crastenburg, Jill Von}}
+{{DEFAULTSORT:Crastenburg, Jill Von}}]
+[[de:Jill von Crastenburg]]
 [[es:Jill Von Crastenburg]]
 [[Category:Characters|Von Crastenburg, Jill]]
 [[Category:Characters in GTA IV|Von Crastenburg, Jill]]
 [[Category:Characters in GTA V]]
+[[Category:Artists]]
+[[Category:Media Personalities]]

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