- "It takes a special kind of integrity for a man to be both a newsmaker and a marketmaker without it becoming a conflict of interest."
- ―Karl Kelly
Kelly is a finance reporter for Weazel News, and an author of his book, Mounting Bulls and Riding Bears, who is living in Richman, Los Santos. Kelly owns an account on Lifeinvader, on which he often posts different statuses. He has an ex-wife called Cynthia. 
- According to Karl's Lifeinvader page, his car keeps getting vandalized by someone who spray paints Anticapitalist messages on it.
- ↑ Kelly's Lifeinvader profile
- ↑ Karl Kelly's "About" section states "Happily Divorced".
- ↑ Karl Kelly: "In many ways, wives are like stocks. You get them while they’re vulnerable, ride them till they peak, then dump them for a volatile young start-up. No hard feelings, Cynthia."