Kirk Simplex is a minor unseen character in Grand Theft Auto IV.
History[]
According to Our-own-reality.com, in 2007 alone, Kirk had made over $3 billion. He married Samantha Muldoon, which lasted twenty minutes after he annoyed her in the car driving away from the parking lot. Among other celebrity marriages in the in-game media that last under a week, this is possibly meant to mock Britney Spears' 55-hour marriage to Jason Alexander.
Prior to the events of the game, he had purchased seven historic English castles, decking some out with tacky, modern fittings, and burning down others to increase the value of the former.
After Tunnel of Death it is reported that he had purchased his eighth castle, stating that he bought this castle on the spur-of-the-moment while drunk-shopping online.