Leslie Mitchell is a journalist for Weazel News in Grand Theft Auto IV. She writes many articles for Weazel News' website www.weazelnews.com.
Online Articles
Jingoism Act Renewed
Liberty City breathes relief
"This will make more people patriots, will make us safe, and will scare our enemies, who will stop at nothing to hurt us for no reason and don't worry about foreign policy or understanding other religions. Let's get to wiretapping and detaining indefinitely," the Mayor said.
Silencing sissy liberals, a new taskforce is being considered to fight the scourge of dirty unwashed eastern Europeans attempting to muscle in on our last great industry - organized crime.
Who's Going To Kerry Me Home This Time?
Celebrity in more trouble, no-one surprised
An eyewitness joked with reporters that, "it must be the closest she'd come to food in years." Ever since photos emerged of a male stripper blowing cocaine up her ass at a Lovefist reunion after-party last year, the McIntosh Meltdown has been a permanent fixture in the tabloids, propelling her career into the stratosphere with new contracts at Max Renda, Le Chien and Veneer. Max Renda's VP of Marketing explained that, "Girls these days want multi-dimensional role models.
Bryce Dawkins Was Closet Liberal
Tragic Revelations
Now, he's also come out as a homosexual, married with children. Well, it's scarcely surprising. He's a liberal. Wooly thinking is their watchword. Or watch words. This news organization can never be accused of wooly thinking (apart from our weird attitude to China, but let's ignore that), so we will continue to attack liberals like him, until we have driven them out of this country for good.