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[[Image:Our Own Reality.jpg|thumb|The Home page of Our Own Reality.]] |
[[Image:Our Own Reality.jpg|thumb|The Home page of Our Own Reality.]] |
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+ | {{DISPLAYTITLE: our-own-reality.com}} |
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+ | '''our-own-reality.com''' is a news [[website]] on the [[Internet in GTA IV|Internet]] in [[Grand Theft Auto IV|''Grand Theft Auto IV'']], [[The Lost and Damned|''The Lost and Damned'']] and [[The Ballad of Gay Tony|''The Ballad of Gay Tony'']]''.'' |
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+ | == Description == |
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− | '''www.our-own-reality.com''' is a news [[website]] on the [[Internet]] in [[Grand Theft Auto IV]], [[The Lost and Damned]] and [[The Ballad of Gay Tony]], much like the [[Libertytreeonline.com|Liberty Tree]] and [[Weazelnews.com|Weazel News]] websites, except it doesn't report things that [[Niko Bellic]] does throughout the [[Plot in GTA IV|storyline]] or anything other than celebrity news. The only articles that remotely effect Niko are the website's expose on [[Bryce Dawkins]] being gay, and a short ridicule they make of [[Brucie Kibbutz]]. |
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+ | Our Own Reality is similar to the [[Libertytreeonline.com|Liberty Tree]] and [[Weazelnews.com|Weazel News]] websites, however its reporting is limited to celebrity news and gossip. |
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+ | ==Influence== |
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+ | The website is a parody of gossip news sources such as [[wp:TMZ.com|TMZ]], and serves the purpose of being a satire on 2000s-era celebrity obsession. They parody the exploits of celebrities like [[wp:Angelina Jolie|Angelina Jolie]], [[wp:Paris Hilton|Paris Hilton]] and [[wp:Nicole Richie|Nicole Richie]], [[wp:Britney Spears#2006.E2.80.932007: Second child.2C personal and professional struggles.2C and Blackout|Britney Spears and her 2007 breakdown]], and [[wp:Sean Combs|Sean "Diddy" Combs]] among others. Elements are also taken from British ([[wp:Kate Moss|Kate Moss]] and the [[wp:British royal family|British royal family]]) and even Russian (billionaire [[wp:Andrey Melnichenko|Andrey Melnichenko]] and his marriage to model [[wp:Aleksandra Kokotovic|Aleksandra Kokotovic]]) tabloid culture. |
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+ | == Reports == |
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− | The website is a parody of gossip news sources such as [[wp:TMZ.com|TMZ]], and serves the purpose of being a satire on 2000s-era celebrity obsession. They parody the exploits of celebrities like [[wp:Angelina Jolie|Angelina Jolie]], [[wp:Paris Hilton|Paris Hilton]] and [[wp:Nicole Richie|Nicole Richie]], [[wp:Britney_Spears#2006.E2.80.932007:_Second_child.2C_personal_and_professional_struggles.2C_and_Blackout|Britney Spears and her 2007 breakdown]], and [[wp:Sean Combs|Sean "Diddy" Combs]] among others. Elements are also taken from British ([[wp:Kate Moss|Kate Moss]] and the [[wp:British royal family|British royal family]]) and even Russian (billionaire [[wp:Andrey Melnichenko|Andrey Melnichenko]] and his marriage to model [[wp:Aleksandra Kokotovic|Aleksandra Kokotovic]]) tabloid culture. During the course of the game, they specifically report on: |
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+ | {| class="zebratable" width=100% |
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− | |||
+ | !colspan="4"|From the start of ''GTA IV''<br/>Throughout ''The Lost and Damned'' and ''The Ballad of Gay Tony'' |
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− | ''(After the last mission, "[[A Revenger's Tragedy]]" or "[[Out of Commission]]")'' |
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+ | |- |
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− | *[[Bryce Dawkins]] is effectively exposed as being homosexual after a photo turns up of him kissing "a MALE fitness instructor". Dawkins aggressively denies that he is gay, but goes to a rehab clinic for reasons he would not elaborate on (strong rumors say the facility treats sex addictions). The photo does not feature Bryce's kiss, but only Bryce's image next to a gay-looking man who is not his boyfriend [[Bernie Crane]]. Though the text description matches Bernie (fitness instructor living in a lavish apartment), it is more than possible that Bryce had several boyfriends. |
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+ | !Image |
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− | *[[Samantha Muldoon]] adopts a 14th child |
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+ | !Headline |
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− | *[[Tyler Dixon]] gets his ponytail shortened slightly |
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+ | !Transcript |
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− | *[[Tony McTony]] severely beat a stripper from [[The Triangle Club]] in [[Bohan]] during sex; Several of McTony's girlfriends, who were also likely beaten, defended McTony and said she "had it coming". McTony was only punished with 3 days of community service. |
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+ | !References |
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− | *"Like" voted word of the year, followed by "Whatever" and "Totally" |
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+ | |- |
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− | *A very positive review of the dance film "[[Popping]]" |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-VonCrastenburgSexTape.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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− | *[[Kerry McIntosh]] chases a paparazzi who peeped into her bathroom with a kitchen knife |
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+ | |BREAKING NEWS:<br/> |
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− | |||
+ | Von Crastenburg Sex Tape!!! |
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− | ''(After "[[Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend]]")'' |
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+ | |Lorem Ipsum... |
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− | *[[Tyler Dixon]] requests $3 million dowry from [[Cloe Parker]]. Other elements of their reliationship are discussed; Cloe is the mother of a three-month old black baby which she normally lacks proper caution in caring for (reference to criticisms of [[wp:Britney Spears|Britney Spears]]' parenting skills; Dixon is also a parody of Spears' ex-husband [[wp:Kevin Federline|Kevin Federline]]). Dixon claims the child is his, even though he is white and he met Cloe only two months before the baby was born. [[Mr. Parker|Cloe's billionaire father]] also stated that he sorely disapproves of Dixon. |
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+ | |[[Jill Von Crastenburg]]'s sex tape posted on [[Electrictit.com]]. |
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− | *[[Cherise McCormic]], a 1980s celebrity featured on [[Waning With The Stars]], may have faked being a drug addict to appear on the show |
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+ | |- |
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− | *Reality shows struggling to find "cranky" British judges, a reference to singing judge [[wp:Simon Cowell|Simon Cowell]] |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-IsItDecemberForJanuary.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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− | *Condemning [[Jill Von Crastenburg|Crastenburg]] for a small amount of cellulite |
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+ | |Is it December for January? |
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− | *In response to [[Brucie Kibbutz]]'s persistence (see below), the staff of the website briefly mock him and demand he leave them alone |
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+ | | |
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− | *[[Tony McTony]] criticized for giving his newborn son [[Pete McTony]] "too normal a name". |
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+ | |Condemning [[January Natasha Vasquez]] for having a small amount of cellulite. |
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− | *Liberty Governor candidates [[John Hunter]] and [[Michael Graves]] participate in an immature [[wp:Flaming_(Internet)|online flame war]] to appeal to younger voters |
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+ | |- |
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− | *[[Samantha Muldoon]] switches religions 3 times in 1 week, eventually deciding on the [[Epsilon Cult]] |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-KingOrQueen.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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− | |||
+ | |King or Queen?<br/>Secret Royal Family Hermaphrodite Shocker!!! |
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− | ''(After "[[Tunnel of Death]]" - Brucie sends a second email)'' |
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+ | | |
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− | *[[Kerry McIntosh]] crashes her car into a [[Wigwam Burger]] restaurant after checking out of rehab |
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+ | |[[Fred Pemberton]], a former gardener for the British royal family claiming one of its members is a hermaphrodite (it's implied that the website paid him to lie). |
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− | *[[wp:Furry_fandom|Furries]] debate over realism vs. better positions during sex (image shown of a woman in a [[Cluckin' Bell]] Chicken uniform) |
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+ | |- |
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− | *[[Tyrone Hancock|Tyrone "Tower" Hancock]], a washed-up 1980s basketball star, French kisses a homeless man |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-WardrobeMalfunctionTurnsBloody.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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− | *[[Cloe Parker]] and [[Jill Von Crastenburg]] fight and make up five times in a single evening at [[Maisonette 9]], which included catfights and drunken bisexual behavior. One instigator was Crastenburg saying hello to Parker's ex-boyfriend, also at the club. |
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+ | |Wardrobe malfunction turns bloody!!! |
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− | |||
+ | | |
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− | *[[Katt Maguire]] poops on the sidewalk outside a London nightclub (poop up for sale on [[Craplist.net]] for $300) |
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+ | |[[Kirk Stapleton]] losing his tongue in a stage accident during the play ''The Flying Whore''. |
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− | *[[January Natasha Vasquez|JNV]] begins a crash diet (possibly anorexia) to better her career |
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+ | |- |
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− | *[[Kirk Simplex]] buys his 8th English castle |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-MuldoonMarriageOverIn20Minutes.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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− | *''[[Weazel News]]'' launching a new channel, ''Weazel War'', showing what Our Own Reality calls "US troops kicking ass around the world" 24 hours a day. |
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+ | |Muldoon marriage over in 20 minutes!!! |
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− | ''(After "[[Actions Speak Louder than Words]] - [[Brucie Kibbutz]] will send Niko a link to the site, and tells him that as hard as he tries to get featured on the site, sending in workout photos and even sex tapes, they are only reporting on [[Tony McTony]] and [[Tyrone Hancock|Tyrone "Tower" Hancock]])'' |
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+ | | |
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− | *[[Tony McTony]] plans to sue [[LC24]] magazine for defamation, after they said he has a Napoleon complex. The article includes a short biography of him and his lifestyle. |
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+ | |[[Samantha Muldoon]]'s twenty minute marriage to [[Kirk Simplex]]. |
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− | *[[Traci Wilson]], once the MVP and 10-year captain of the American soccer team [[Liberty City Cocks]], is working at a [[Burger Shot]] in [[Los Santos]]. |
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+ | |- |
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− | *[[Ernesto Asaltacunas]] has dinner with his mother |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-CelebritySighting.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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− | *[[Charles Martin]], an [[Alderney]] Senator, is thought to have posed for a homoerotic "goatse" screensaver. |
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+ | |Celebrity sighting!!! |
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− | *Crotch shots from the paparazzi are becoming cliche |
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+ | | |
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− | *The site tries to spread a rumor about an English gay celebrity couple, artists named Simon & Nigel. They presume Simon cheated on Nigel after a checkup from his dentist. They have also recently done art shows consisting of gruesome historical events, reenacted with themselves dressed as gorillas (they are separately mentioned in ''[[I'm Rich]] ''as having done murals in [[Jill Von Crastenburg]]'s home). |
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+ | |[[January Natasha Vasquez]] walking down the street in [[San Fierro (HD Universe)|San Fierro]] by herself. |
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− | *[[Julian Glockwell]], the co-star of the 1980s action show [[Angel and the Knight]], quit his poorly-received blog. |
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+ | |- |
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− | *A streaker from a [[Liberty City Penetrators]] game issued a press statement that it was a very cold day, referring to his penis size. |
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+ | !colspan="4"|After [[Actions Speak Louder than Words]] |
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− | |||
+ | |- |
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− | ''(Beginning of GTA IV / Throughout The Lost and Damned and The Ballad of Gay Tony)'' |
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+ | |colspan="4"|[[Brucie Kibbutz]] will send Niko a link to the site, and tells him that as hard as he tries to get featured on the site, sending in workout photos and even sex tapes, they are only reporting on [[Tony McTony]] and [[Tyrone Hancock|Tyrone "Tower" Hancock]]) |
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− | *[[Jill Von Crastenburg]]'s sex tape |
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+ | |- |
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− | *Condemning [[January Natasha Vasquez|JNV]] for a small amount of cellulite |
||
+ | !Image |
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− | *A gardener of the British royal family claims one of its members is a hermaphrodite (it's implied that the website paid him to lie) |
||
+ | !Headline |
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− | *[[Kirk Stapleton]] loses his tongue in a stage accident during the play "The Flying Whore" |
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+ | !Transcript |
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− | *[[Samantha Muldoon]]'s twenty minute marriage to [[Kirk Simplex]] |
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+ | !References |
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− | *[[January Natasha Vasquez]] walking down the street |
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+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-MiniMillionaireMadness.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |BREAKING NEWS:<br/>Mini millionaire madness!!! |
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+ | | |
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+ | |[[Tony McTony]] planning to sue [[LC24]] magazine for defamation, after they said he has a Napoleon complex. The article includes a short biography of him and his lifestyle. |
||
+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-FromSuperstarToSupersizeWhoIsHeAgain.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |From superstar to supersize... who is he again??? |
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+ | | |
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+ | |[[Traci Wilson]], once the MVP and 10-year captain of the American soccer team [[Liberty City Cocks (HD Universe)|Liberty City Cocks]], is now working at a [[Burger Shot]] in [[Los Santos (HD Universe)|Los Santos]]. |
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+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-ErnestoAsaltacunasGoesToARestaurant.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |Ernesto Asaltacunas goes to a restaurant!!! |
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+ | | |
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+ | |[[Ernesto Asaltacunas]] having dinner with his mother. |
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+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-InAHOLELotOfTrouble.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |In a HOLE lot of trouble? |
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+ | | |
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+ | |[[Charles Martin]], an [[Alderney]] Senator, is thought to have posed for a homoerotic "goatse" screensaver. |
||
+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-BeaverSaturation.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |Beaver Saturation!!! |
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+ | | |
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+ | |Crotch shots from the paparazzi becoming cliche. |
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+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-SimonIsCheatingOnNigel.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |Simon is cheating on Nigel!!! |
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+ | | |
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+ | |The site trying to spread a rumor about an English gay celebrity couple, artists named Simon & Nigel. They presume Simon cheated on Nigel after a checkup from his dentist. They have also recently done art shows consisting of gruesome historical events, re-enacted with themselves dressed as gorillas (they are separately mentioned in ''[[I'm Rich]] ''as having done murals in [[Jill Von Crastenburg]]'s home). |
||
+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-CelebrityBlogShutDown.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |Celebrity blog shut down |
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+ | | |
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+ | |[[Julian Glockwell]], the co-star of the 1980s action show [[Angel and the Knight]], quitting his poorly-received blog. |
||
+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-StreakerIssuesStatemement.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |Streaker issues statement |
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+ | | |
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+ | |A streaker from a [[Liberty City Penetrators]] game issuing a press statement that it was a very cold day, referring to his penis size. |
||
+ | |- |
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+ | !colspan="4"|After [[Tunnel of Death]] |
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+ | |- |
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+ | |colspan="4"|Brucie sends a second email |
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+ | |- |
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+ | !Image |
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+ | !Headline |
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+ | !Transcript |
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+ | !References |
||
+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-McIntoshGoesForADriveThru.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |BREAKING NEWS:<br/>McIntosh goes for a drive-thru!!! |
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+ | | |
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+ | |[[Kerry McIntosh]] crashing her [[Huntley Sport|car]] into a [[Wigwam Burger]] restaurant after checking out of rehab. |
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+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-FurriesBoredOfDoggieStyle.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |Furries bored of doggie style |
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+ | | |
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+ | |[[wp:Furry fandom|Furries]] debate over realism vs. better positions during sex. (image shown of a woman in a [[Cluckin' Bell]] Chicken uniform) |
||
+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-TheTowerMakesOutWithAHobo.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |'The Tower' makes out with a hobo! |
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+ | | |
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+ | |[[Tyrone Hancock|Tyrone "Tower" Hancock]], a washed-up 1980s basketball star, French kissing a [[Tramps|homeless man]]. |
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+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-ParkerAndVonCrastenburgCatfight.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |Parker & Von Crastenburg catfight!!! |
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+ | | |
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+ | |[[Cloe Parker]] and [[Jill Von Crastenburg]] fight and make up five times in a single evening at [[Maisonette 9]], which included catfights and drunken bisexual behavior. One instigator was Crastenburg saying hello to Parker's [[Tyler Dixon|ex-boyfriend]], also at the club. |
||
+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-EnglishLadetteTakesDumpOutsideNightclub.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |English 'ladette' takes dump outside nightclub |
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+ | | |
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+ | |[[Katt Maguire]] pooping on the sidewalk outside a [[London]] nightclub (poop up for sale on [[Craplist.net]] for $300). |
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+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-JNV'sExtremeWeightLoss.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |JNV's EXTREME WEIGHT LOSS!!! |
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+ | | |
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+ | |[[January Natasha Vasquez]] beginning a crash diet (possibly anorexia) to better her career. |
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+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-AnotherCastleForTheinvestmentKing.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |Another castle for the investment king |
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+ | | |
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+ | |[[Kirk Simplex]] buying his 8th English castle. |
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+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-WeazelToLaunchWarChannel.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |Weazel to launch war channel |
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+ | | |
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+ | |''[[Weazel News]]'' launching a new channel, ''Weazel War'', showing what Our Own Reality calls "US troops kicking ass around the world" 24 hours a day. |
||
+ | |- |
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+ | !colspan="4"|After [[Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend]] |
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+ | |- |
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+ | !Image |
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+ | !Headline |
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+ | !Transcript |
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+ | !References |
||
+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-StraightBackatchaBiatch.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |BREAKING NEWS:<br/>Straight backatcha biatch!!! |
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+ | | |
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+ | |[[Tyler Dixon]] requesting $3 million dowry from [[Cloe Parker]]. Other elements of their relationship are discussed; Cloe is the mother of a three-month old black baby which she normally lacks proper caution in caring for (reference to criticisms of [[wp:Britney Spears|Britney Spears]]' parenting skills, Dixon is also a parody of Spears' ex-husband [[wp:Kevin Federline|Kevin Federline]]). Dixon claims the child is his, even though he is white and he met Cloe only two months before the baby was born. [[Mr. Parker|Cloe's billionaire father]] also stated that he sorely disapproves of Dixon. |
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+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-WaningWithTheStarsShocker.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |Waning with the Stars Shocker!!! |
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+ | | |
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+ | |[[Cherise McCormic]], a 1980s celebrity featured on [[Waning With The Stars]], may have faked being a drug addict to appear on the show. |
||
+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-ShortageOfBritishJudgesForUSTalentShows.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |Shortage of British judges for US talent shows |
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+ | | |
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+ | |Reality shows struggling to find "cranky" British judges, a reference to singing judge [[wp:Simon Cowell|Simon Cowell]]. |
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+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-FatBitch.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |Fat Bitch! |
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+ | | |
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+ | |Condemning [[Jill Von Crastenburg]] for a small amount of cellulite |
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+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-ToBrucieKibbutz.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |To Brucie Kibbutz |
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+ | | |
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+ | |In response to [[Brucie Kibbutz|Brucie Kibbutz']] persistence (see above), the staff of the website briefly mock him and demand he leave them alone. |
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+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-Pete-WhatKindOfNameIsThatForAFamousKid.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |Pete - what kind of name is that for a famous kid? |
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+ | | |
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+ | |[[Tony McTony]] being criticized for giving his newborn son [[Pete McTony]] "too normal a name". |
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+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-GovernorRaceTakesToTheChatrooms.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |Governor race takes to the chatrooms |
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+ | | |
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+ | |Liberty Governor candidates [[John Hunter]] and [[Michael Graves]] participating in an immature [[wp:Flaming (Internet)|online flame war]] to appeal to younger voters. |
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+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-MuldoonFindsReligion3TimesInAWeek.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |Muldoon 'finds religion' 3 times in a week!!! |
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+ | | |
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+ | |[[Samantha Muldoon]] switching religions 3 times in 1 week, eventually deciding on the [[Epsilon Program (HD Universe)|Epsilon Program]]. |
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+ | |- |
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+ | !colspan="4"|After the [[A Revenger's Tragedy|final]] [[Out of Commission|mission]] |
||
+ | |- |
||
+ | !Image |
||
+ | !Headline |
||
+ | !Transcript |
||
+ | !References |
||
+ | |- |
||
+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-BryceDawkins-You'veGotMale.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |BREAKING NEWS:<br/>Bryce Dawkins - You got MALE!!! |
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+ | | |
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+ | |[[Bryce Dawkins]] exposed as being homosexual after a photo turns up of him kissing "a MALE fitness instructor". Dawkins aggressively denies that he is gay, but goes to a rehab clinic for reasons he would not elaborate on (strong rumors say the facility treats sex addictions). The photo does not feature Bryce's kiss, but only Bryce's image next to a gay-looking man who is not his boyfriend [[Bernie Crane]]. Though the text description matches Bernie (fitness instructor living in a lavish apartment), it is more than possible that Bryce had several boyfriends. |
||
+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-SamanthaMuldoonBuysAnotherBaby.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |Samantha Muldoon buys another baby! |
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+ | | |
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+ | |[[Samantha Muldoon]] adopting a 14th child. |
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+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-ShearLunacy.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |Shear Lunacy! |
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+ | | |
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+ | |[[Tyler Dixon]] getting his ponytail shortened slightly |
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+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-McTony-AMicroscopicManiac.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |McTony: A microscopic maniac!!! |
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+ | | |
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+ | |[[Tony McTony]] severely beating a stripper from [[The Triangle Club]] during sexual intercourse. Several of McTony's girlfriends, defended McTony and said she "had it coming". McTony was only punished with 3 days of community service. |
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+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-LikeVotedWordOfTheYear.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |'Like' voted word of the year! |
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+ | | |
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+ | |"Like" being voted word of the year, followed by "whatever" and "totally". |
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+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-POPPINGBoffoBoxOffice.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |POPPING boffo box office |
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+ | | |
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+ | |A very positive review of the dance film "[[Popping]]". |
||
+ | |- |
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+ | |[[File:Ourownreality.com-GTAIV-MoreMadnessFromMcIntosh.png|thumb|center|275px]] |
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+ | |More Madness From McIntosh!!!! |
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+ | | |
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+ | |[[Kerry McIntosh]] chasing a paparazzi who peeped into her bathroom with a [[Knife|kitchen knife]]. |
||
+ | |} |
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+ | [[pl:Our-own-reality.com]] |
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+ | [[de:Our Own Reality]] |
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[[Category:Websites]] |
[[Category:Websites]] |
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+ | [[Category:Websites in GTA IV]] |
Latest revision as of 19:08, 10 March 2024
our-own-reality.com is a news website on the Internet in Grand Theft Auto IV, The Lost and Damned and The Ballad of Gay Tony.
Description
Our Own Reality is similar to the Liberty Tree and Weazel News websites, however its reporting is limited to celebrity news and gossip.
Influence
The website is a parody of gossip news sources such as TMZ, and serves the purpose of being a satire on 2000s-era celebrity obsession. They parody the exploits of celebrities like Angelina Jolie, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, Britney Spears and her 2007 breakdown, and Sean "Diddy" Combs among others. Elements are also taken from British (Kate Moss and the British royal family) and even Russian (billionaire Andrey Melnichenko and his marriage to model Aleksandra Kokotovic) tabloid culture.
Reports
From the start of GTA IV Throughout The Lost and Damned and The Ballad of Gay Tony | |||
---|---|---|---|
Image | Headline | Transcript | References |
BREAKING NEWS: Von Crastenburg Sex Tape!!! |
Lorem Ipsum... | Jill Von Crastenburg's sex tape posted on Electrictit.com. | |
Is it December for January? | Condemning January Natasha Vasquez for having a small amount of cellulite. | ||
King or Queen? Secret Royal Family Hermaphrodite Shocker!!! |
Fred Pemberton, a former gardener for the British royal family claiming one of its members is a hermaphrodite (it's implied that the website paid him to lie). | ||
Wardrobe malfunction turns bloody!!! | Kirk Stapleton losing his tongue in a stage accident during the play The Flying Whore. | ||
Muldoon marriage over in 20 minutes!!! | Samantha Muldoon's twenty minute marriage to Kirk Simplex. | ||
Celebrity sighting!!! | January Natasha Vasquez walking down the street in San Fierro by herself. | ||
After Actions Speak Louder than Words | |||
Brucie Kibbutz will send Niko a link to the site, and tells him that as hard as he tries to get featured on the site, sending in workout photos and even sex tapes, they are only reporting on Tony McTony and Tyrone "Tower" Hancock) | |||
Image | Headline | Transcript | References |
BREAKING NEWS: Mini millionaire madness!!! |
Tony McTony planning to sue LC24 magazine for defamation, after they said he has a Napoleon complex. The article includes a short biography of him and his lifestyle. | ||
From superstar to supersize... who is he again??? | Traci Wilson, once the MVP and 10-year captain of the American soccer team Liberty City Cocks, is now working at a Burger Shot in Los Santos. | ||
Ernesto Asaltacunas goes to a restaurant!!! | Ernesto Asaltacunas having dinner with his mother. | ||
In a HOLE lot of trouble? | Charles Martin, an Alderney Senator, is thought to have posed for a homoerotic "goatse" screensaver. | ||
Beaver Saturation!!! | Crotch shots from the paparazzi becoming cliche. | ||
Simon is cheating on Nigel!!! | The site trying to spread a rumor about an English gay celebrity couple, artists named Simon & Nigel. They presume Simon cheated on Nigel after a checkup from his dentist. They have also recently done art shows consisting of gruesome historical events, re-enacted with themselves dressed as gorillas (they are separately mentioned in I'm Rich as having done murals in Jill Von Crastenburg's home). | ||
Celebrity blog shut down | Julian Glockwell, the co-star of the 1980s action show Angel and the Knight, quitting his poorly-received blog. | ||
Streaker issues statement | A streaker from a Liberty City Penetrators game issuing a press statement that it was a very cold day, referring to his penis size. | ||
After Tunnel of Death | |||
Brucie sends a second email | |||
Image | Headline | Transcript | References |
BREAKING NEWS: McIntosh goes for a drive-thru!!! |
Kerry McIntosh crashing her car into a Wigwam Burger restaurant after checking out of rehab. | ||
Furries bored of doggie style | Furries debate over realism vs. better positions during sex. (image shown of a woman in a Cluckin' Bell Chicken uniform) | ||
'The Tower' makes out with a hobo! | Tyrone "Tower" Hancock, a washed-up 1980s basketball star, French kissing a homeless man. | ||
Parker & Von Crastenburg catfight!!! | Cloe Parker and Jill Von Crastenburg fight and make up five times in a single evening at Maisonette 9, which included catfights and drunken bisexual behavior. One instigator was Crastenburg saying hello to Parker's ex-boyfriend, also at the club. | ||
English 'ladette' takes dump outside nightclub | Katt Maguire pooping on the sidewalk outside a London nightclub (poop up for sale on Craplist.net for $300). | ||
JNV's EXTREME WEIGHT LOSS!!! | January Natasha Vasquez beginning a crash diet (possibly anorexia) to better her career. | ||
Another castle for the investment king | Kirk Simplex buying his 8th English castle. | ||
Weazel to launch war channel | Weazel News launching a new channel, Weazel War, showing what Our Own Reality calls "US troops kicking ass around the world" 24 hours a day. | ||
After Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend | |||
Image | Headline | Transcript | References |
BREAKING NEWS: Straight backatcha biatch!!! |
Tyler Dixon requesting $3 million dowry from Cloe Parker. Other elements of their relationship are discussed; Cloe is the mother of a three-month old black baby which she normally lacks proper caution in caring for (reference to criticisms of Britney Spears' parenting skills, Dixon is also a parody of Spears' ex-husband Kevin Federline). Dixon claims the child is his, even though he is white and he met Cloe only two months before the baby was born. Cloe's billionaire father also stated that he sorely disapproves of Dixon. | ||
Waning with the Stars Shocker!!! | Cherise McCormic, a 1980s celebrity featured on Waning With The Stars, may have faked being a drug addict to appear on the show. | ||
Shortage of British judges for US talent shows | Reality shows struggling to find "cranky" British judges, a reference to singing judge Simon Cowell. | ||
Fat Bitch! | Condemning Jill Von Crastenburg for a small amount of cellulite | ||
To Brucie Kibbutz | In response to Brucie Kibbutz' persistence (see above), the staff of the website briefly mock him and demand he leave them alone. | ||
Pete - what kind of name is that for a famous kid? | Tony McTony being criticized for giving his newborn son Pete McTony "too normal a name". | ||
Governor race takes to the chatrooms | Liberty Governor candidates John Hunter and Michael Graves participating in an immature online flame war to appeal to younger voters. | ||
Muldoon 'finds religion' 3 times in a week!!! | Samantha Muldoon switching religions 3 times in 1 week, eventually deciding on the Epsilon Program. | ||
After the final mission | |||
Image | Headline | Transcript | References |
BREAKING NEWS: Bryce Dawkins - You got MALE!!! |
Bryce Dawkins exposed as being homosexual after a photo turns up of him kissing "a MALE fitness instructor". Dawkins aggressively denies that he is gay, but goes to a rehab clinic for reasons he would not elaborate on (strong rumors say the facility treats sex addictions). The photo does not feature Bryce's kiss, but only Bryce's image next to a gay-looking man who is not his boyfriend Bernie Crane. Though the text description matches Bernie (fitness instructor living in a lavish apartment), it is more than possible that Bryce had several boyfriends. | ||
Samantha Muldoon buys another baby! | Samantha Muldoon adopting a 14th child. | ||
Shear Lunacy! | Tyler Dixon getting his ponytail shortened slightly | ||
McTony: A microscopic maniac!!! | Tony McTony severely beating a stripper from The Triangle Club during sexual intercourse. Several of McTony's girlfriends, defended McTony and said she "had it coming". McTony was only punished with 3 days of community service. | ||
'Like' voted word of the year! | "Like" being voted word of the year, followed by "whatever" and "totally". | ||
POPPING boffo box office | A very positive review of the dance film "Popping". | ||
More Madness From McIntosh!!!! | Kerry McIntosh chasing a paparazzi who peeped into her bathroom with a kitchen knife. |