Wikia

GTA Wiki

The Pilgrim's Pantry.

Talk0
10,406pages on
this wiki
Revision as of 22:20, August 4, 2013 by Cloudkit01 (Talk | contribs)

The Pilgrim's Pantry is a Liberty Tree article seen in the Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories instruction manual. It is a restaurant review of The Pilgrim's Pantry. It is written by "a Special Correspondent".

Article

They fled Britain because it was too liberal, now they've opened a themed restaurant in your town. The Pilgrim's Pantry is the newest entry in the themed restaurant craze that has swept through the city in the last few years. It's a craze that has been marked by noticeable successes (who would have thought "Death Row," in which kids got to cook their own food with personal electric chairs, would prove to be such an enduring birthday party staple?) and failures (Nagasaki was a tasteless joke gone too far, even for this town) and now the Pilgrim's Pantry are having their hessian clad turn in the sun. The food is simple, traditional fare - raw turnips, freshly slaughtered turkeys, salted meats and so on. While the dinning room is Puritan themed it's unsurprisingly sparse

But it is the edutainment on offer that will keep kids delighted and parents happy that their kids are being educated and entertained while enjoying nutritional fare.

"Me, my husband and our two little ones were delighted when halfway through our meal a Native American in traditional costume came to our table and taught us how to catch a wild turkey. These kids were even more delighted when a man in Puritan costume screamed "I'm bringing you to God, by the Book, or the sword, Savages' and promptly stabbed him to death. My husband greatly enjoyed the Witch Drown 'n' Burn that followed dessert. I myself loved it when the friendly and informative staff stoned a heathen to death for misinterpreting a Bible passage during a trivia quiz. My husband complained it was historically inaccurate, but I was having too much fun to care. Trust me, if you and your family are into historical fun, you'll love the Pilgrim's Pantry."

The Pilgrim's Pantry, where good friends, good values and hunger are history.

Open every day, except Sunday.

Around Wikia's network

Random Wiki