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And so, our hero travels in time once more. Where to, he never knows, whereever he's needed most, and whichever way his time machine points him, sometimes forwards, sometimes backwards, always fun if you're open-minded!
— The show's announcer

The Time Ranger is a radio show featured in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories.

Originally broadcast in 1944[1][2], the show was repeated on Vice City Public Radio in 1984. The show features Ernest Keigel, also known as the Time Ranger, a time traveler whose penis is a time machine and who travels through time when he masturbates. The only known episode is "Boxing the One-Eyed Clown", where Ernest first travels from 1938 (his time) to Medieval England, in the year 1175, where he meets a young boy named Richard and his mother, who is implied to be having an affair with the King. He later travels to France during the period of the French Revolution, where he meets a mademoiselle hiding in a barn to hide from revolting peasants. The episode ends on a cliffhanger, with the Time Ranger and mademoiselle engaged in mammary intercourse (to "recharge" the Time Ranger's time machine) in a barn which is being stormed by revolting peasants.

The show is also featured on the Vinewood Walk of Fame in Grand Theft Auto V and Grand Theft Auto Online.

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  1. "Now one of the archives from old time radio, from before this was a public station, a show that first aired 40 years ago: The Time Ranger"
    - Michelle Montanius about the show.
  2. "Wow, it's a shock that show was taken off the air so fast 40 years ago, but anyone with talent was storming Normandy."
    - Jonathan Freeloader about the show.
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