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Dialogues in GTA V

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CoverArt-GTAV

This page lists all protagonistpedestrian, and law enforcement dialogue in Grand Theft Auto V.

Michael De Santa

When greeting a pedestrian

  • Hello, sweetheart!
  • Hey, buddy! What's up?
  • What's up, amigo?
  • Peace, brother.
  • Yeah, how are you? (If they reply kindly)
  • Hello, and how are ya?
  • Hey, pal.

Greeting Jimmy

  • Jimbo!
  • James.
  • Jimmy!
  • I love you, son.
  • Hey, Jimmy.
  • Hey, Jim.
  • Hey, son.
Note: Dialogues after Reuniting the Family remains the same as before Did somebody say Yoga?

Entering his house before Did Somebody Say Yoga?

  • Honey, I'm home.
  • I'm home if anyone gives a shit.
  • Anyone wanna pour daddy a whiskey? No?
  • The guy who pays the bills is here.
  • Is peace and quiet too much to ask for?

Entering his house before Reuniting the Family

  • Hello?
  • Anyone?
  • Anyone come back?
  • Just a big, empty house.

Entering his house after Reuniting the Family

  • Oh, family! I'm home!
  • Hey, your dad's back!
  • Daddy's back, bitches!
  • Big daddy in the house!
  • I'm still alive, in case you're wondering.
  • Yeah, it was a tough day at the office, thanks for asking.

Greeting Amanda after they have been reunited

  • Hello, my darling wife!
  • Hey, Amanda! What's up? All good?
  • Do you forgive me, Amanda? For all I've done?
  • Mand, you okay?
  • Are we going to be okay, Amanda?
  • How you doing?
  • All good with you?
  • Hey, Amanda.
  • Hey, my dear wife.
  • Hey, you good?

Greeting Tracey

  • Tracey!
  • All good, Trace?
  • Hey, Tracey.
  • Hey, Trace.
  • What's going on, Trace?
  • I love you, Trace!

Greeting Eva

  • Hey, Eva. Keep doing what you're doing!
  • Hey, Eva. Keep working hard. I love it!
  • Hey, Eva. Keep looking after us.
  • Hey, Eva.

Greeting Carlos

  • Carlos! My man!
  • Hey, Carlos!
  • Keep working hard, Carlos!

Insulting Ron

  • You're pretty creepy.
  • Well, if it ain't Trevor's weird buddy.
  • Hey, Trevor's weird friend!
  • Ah, you're Trevor's creepy friend.
  • Oh, it's Trevor's even weirder friend!

Greeting a police officer

  • Hi, officer.
  • Hey, officer.
  • Well... hello, officer.
  • Hello, sir... I mean madam... I mean... whatever. (If the officer is female)

After a pedestrian tells a story

  • Well, that's America for ya.
  • You must really worry your family.
  • No, no, really, that's fascinating.
  • And I thought I needed therapy.

While taking a girl home

  • Well, aren't you a nice girl?
  • You seem like a nice girl!

While threatening, fighting or insulting a pedestrian

  • You're fucking dead!
  • Hit me, then!
  • Let's roll, fuckhead!
  • It's on!
  • Remember, I'm a bad person!
  • Come on, then!
  • Run away from me!
  • You know what? You should see a doctor for that shit.
  • You're really making my skin crawl!
  • YOU MAKE MY SKIN CRAWL!
  • You know what? You are one nasty fuck!
  • You know something, YOU'RE FUCKIN' PATHETIC!
  • You should get some help with that personality of yours!
  • Why do you exist?!
  • Hey, you! Really?!
  • Why don't you fuck off?!
  • Yeah, you! Fuck off! Now!
  • You define everything that's wrong with this place!
  • When I say you suck, I mean you really suck.
  • What exactly is wrong with you?
  • THERE IS NO FUCKING POINT TO YOU!
  • Why are you still breathing?!
  • How the fuck are you alive?!
  • This outta be interesting!
  • Go fuck yourself!
  • I just hope you have proper hatred for yourself!
  • Fuck you!
  • Oh... Fuck off!
  • Hit me then!
  • You make me want to puke!

While stealing a car

  • Keep cool-io, baby! It's just a car!
  • Ah, it's insured! Don't be a dick!
  • Vamos the car, amigo!
  • I need to borrow your car, lady!
  • I'm gonna be using your car!
  • Out! Get out!
  • Get the fuck out of here!
  • Sorry... but I need this!
  • Don't act like a tough guy!
  • Alright, let's go!
  • Come on, lady. Don't fight it.
  • Forgive me, sweetheart!
  • Alright, come on, come on, out!
  • Move! Move! Let's move!
  • Sorry, lady! Nothing personal.

While stealing a car with a wanted level

  • Get out of there, bitch!
  • Oh, stay cool, pal!
  • Don't be a fucking hero!
  • Get out!
  • Get the fuck out of the car!
  • Get out, buddy!

Hailing a taxi

  • Taxi!
  • Mister Taxi!
  • Taxi! Here!

While stealing a motorcycle

  • Gimme that fucking bike!
  • I need that bike!
  • Get off that thing!
  • Say, can I borrow your bike for a minute? Or six?

Stealing a vehicle with a dead person inside

  • I hate to do this...
  • I hope you didn't shit yourself.
  • The dead don't drive.
  • Excuse me!

When shooting a person

  • Yeah? Yeah?!
  • Ain't the American Dream grand!
  • Come on, kill me! I need something to talk to my shrink about!
  • Come on, motherfuckers shoot me back!
  • SO KILL ME!
  • Ain't this a barrel of fun!
  • I guess I'm not having a very good day!
  • I guess this is how the fuck it is!
  • So, you wanna join the party?
  • I know, I know, it ain't fuckin' cool!
  • Yeah, I'm an old fatass fucker with a gun!
  • Hey! You want me? Kill me!
  • Fuck all you fucking fucks!
  • Uh huh?! What?! YOU GOT SOMETHING TO SAY?!
  • Yeah... I guess that settles that, MOTHERFUCKER!
  • Ain't this nice?
  • Yeah? Fucking yeah?!
  • Are we having fun now?

If another protagonist spooks him

  • You are out of control!

After getting a coffee

  • Ohh, I need an upper.
  • Ohh, everything hurts.
  • Uhh, stimulants.

Bumping into someone

  • Hey, sorry.
  • Look out!
  • Excuse me!

If bumped into

  • What are you, fucking drunk?
  • Back off.
  • What?
  • Hey, watch it.

After a car crash

  • You... fool!
  • Hey, you selfish prick!
  • You know how much this car costs?!
  • You entitled piece of shit!
  • I've seen some bad drivers, but you... whoa-ho-ho!
  • I like this car!
  • This was a nice car!
  • Look the fuck out, will ya?
  • Hey, the car!
  • I ain't got time to swap details, asshole! (If wanted)
  • Goddammit! Shit! Not the car! (If wanted)

If angered

  • What is this bullshit?!
  • What is this shit?!
  • Bullshit!
  • Damn!
  • Shit!
  • Motherfucker!
  • Ahhh no, fuck!
  • Ah, this is total bullshit!
  • Oh, crap!
  • Ahh, shit!

Not being let in Lesbianco

  • Fuck you! I'm somebody now!
  • Like fuck you don't know who I am!
  • Hey, Eyefind me, asshole. I'm in the business. *Angry grunt*
  • I don't know him, I WORK WITH HIM!

After having lunch with Solomon

  • See you later, Solly!
  • *Chuckle* Great lunch, amigo!

After killing a person

  • Well, that's that!
  • Next time, you'll listen. Well, you know what I mean.
  • So sorry.
  • Sorry about that.
  • Now maybe you'll shut up and listen!
  • Oh, sorry about that!
  • And now you're history!

Getting up after getting hurt

  • Oh, man... Ow!
  • Ow, man, that... Wow!
  • Arrgh, Jesus!
  • Ah crap, that hurt!
  • Ah, shit!

If another protagonist crashes the vehicle

  • Be careful!
  • Fucking idiot!
  • Chill the fuck out!
  • Calm it down!
  • Hey, hey!

If another protagonist drives through the air

  • Woo, you hit that jump!

If Franklin follows him

  • Are you following me, kid?
  • What, is this a joke, kid?
  • I ain't finding this funny.
  • Hey. Back off, kid.
  • Will you fuck off?
  • Seriously, stop the stalking.
  • Hey, I'm serious. Get lost.

If Trevor follows him

  • Listen, will you stop following me?
  • Could you please stop following me?
  • T, stop fucking following me.
  • T, give me a break.
  • Come on T, knock it off.
  • Alright, that's enough! Just fuck off!
  • Will you fuck off, T?

Before knocking out the player character after following at a long duration

  • Okay, your choice, funny guy.
  • Alright, alright. You win.
  • Alright then, come on!

If Franklin or Trevor shoots or fires rockets at his safehouse

  • Stop shooting up my house!
  • Stop firing rockets at my house!

If the player points a firearm at Michael

  • Oh, I got one too!
  • Holster it!
  • Put it away!

If the cops are called

  • Ah, just in case I wasn't having enough fun already!
  • Great... Cops... Fuckin' beautiful.
  • Ahhh, crap!

If Michael gets startled

  • Jesus!
  • What the fuck?!

After running someone over

  • Sorry! ...Not really! (If wanted)

Running over a relative or friend

  • Oh, fuck! No!
  • No! NO!
  • Shit! Shit, no!

Greeting a poor person or gangster

  • Wassup, homie.
  • Hey, take care of yourself.

Trevor Philips

General insults to NPCs

  • You're a waste of space on this Earth!
  • You look like you struggle with simple tasks.
  • You make me want a lobotomy.
  • You make me wanna immigrate.
  • You're a total moron.
  • You dumbass!
  • You hideous mistake!
  • You moron!
  • You depressing afterthought.
  • Oh, please. Go and hurt yourself!
  • Oh, please. Go jump off a cliff!
  • Oh, you really suck!
  • You are utterly ridiculous!
  • You are an annoying shit!
  • You are an asshole!
  • Idiot!
  • Brainless fool!
  • Fuck you, charming. Fuck you!
  • I've trodden shit with more brains.
  • Go and fuck yourself.
  • Listen, nobody likes you.
  • Listen, even your parents can't stand you.
  • HOW are you allowed to walk the streets, MORON?
  • Did you lose a very big bet?
  • Why hasn't someone sensible shot you yet?
  • Why, oh, why do you exist?
  • You pile of vomit!
  • YOU PILE OF SICK!
  • TWAT!
  • Why, oh, why weren't you drowned at birth?
  • Why, oh, why do you exist?
  • Oh, you give me hives!
  • Fool!

If threatened

  • Okay, sugar, hit me.
  • Come on! Punish me!
  • Make me cry; come on, make me cry!
  • Come on, make me suffer!
  • Let's see what ya got!
  • You're dead!
  • You're a dead fuck!
  • Let's go, cupcake!

Assaulting a pedestrian

  • Get up!
  • Did that hurt a little?!
  • Oh, sorry I hurt you!

Reloading a weapon

  • I'm just fillin' up!
  • Out of bullets!
  • Rrreloading!
  • Just reloading!
  • I gotta reload!

Hailing a cab

  • TAXI!
  • Taximan!
  • Stop your fucking car!

Flirting a stripper

  • You're beautiful, just like me.
  • My mother was a stripper once.
  • I think I love you!
  • I'm in love. I love you!

Taunting cops

  • You, my friend have found your level in life... You've joined a society of morons called the police force!
  • Nice name badge! ...But they misspelt 'dick'.
  • Let's be clear. Only an idiot joins the cops! ...See? You don't even understand simple sentences!
  • Oh, you look so... tough, officer! ...I know you were bullied in school.
  • Aren't you just a great example to us all? ...Living proof that shit can talk!
  • Hey......Aren't you cool? ...I was being sarcastic. You look like a twat.
  • Does parking orders get you excited? ...Or do you prefer beating up suspects?
  • I bet you love giving orders... And arresting jaywalkers and tourists...
  • What exactly are you looking at? ...Because I'm looking at a turd.
  • Nice uniform! ...But you should be working in Burger Shot!
  • The police force, now that's a bad joke! ...Police "farce" would be a better name.
  • You look ridiculous in that uniform. But I bet you're probably used to looking ridiculous.
  • How did you get in the police force? ...You look like you belong in a mental home.

Taunting the Overweight or Obese (most fat people will start to run away after the second insult)

  • What's your problem, fatso? ...I SAID: "What's your problem, fatso?!" ...Oh, come on! Where's your sense of humor? DID YA EAT IT?!
  • Ever tried to exercise, pork chop?... And I don't mean just your arm. (If the NPC starts to run) OH, there you go! SEE? THAT'S NOT SO BAD!
  • You are... LARGE, my friend. ...I mean, LARGE. LIKE A BIG THING! ...And you wobble when you run!
  • Hey, Pork Chop! How's it going? ...I SAID... "How's it going?!" PORK CHOP!
  • So, uh... Do chubby chasers seek you out? ...I mean, I can see it being fun having a BOUNCY, BOUNCY, BOUNCY! ...Hey, where are you going? I was enjoying that thought!
  • You are a big hunk o' love, aren't you?
  • Wow... you are BIG! ...I mean, you're the size of a house!
  • Have you tried exercising, pork chop? ...And I don't mean just your arms. See, there you go!
  • Food is drug, and... You're an addict. ...For some it's meth but for you is CHEEEEEEEESE CAKE!

Taunting Hipsters

  • You're about as alternative... as a dog turd!
  • I bet you have a vagina! (Insulting male hipster)
  • Hipster, hipster, hipster!
  • Let's be clear. You look like a tick.
  • You're part of the problem...

Taunting the homeless

  • Come on, sort yourself out! ...FOR FUCK'S SAKE, make some changes! ...It's not me you are running away from, it's YOURSELF!
  • You stink. ...I mean, you really stink. It's revolting. ...You really stink, its not an insult!
  • You are so... miserable. ...I mean, come on, SMILE! ...I am just being friendly!
  • Oh please, just take a bath, will you?
  • I feel bad for you... You're completely lost.
  • Hey, we all love drinks and drugs, pal. ...But I pay for mine. ...Oh yeah, run away you leech!
  • Get some help my friend.
  • You depressed me friend. ...So......DEPRESSING! ...You even run in a depressing way!
  • Oh great, a stinky crazy person. ...How very original. ...Get some help, its pathetic!
  • You're not crazy, you're lazy. ...There's a difference, you're a faker.
  • You have to do some changing... And I don't mean just your clothes... Okay, first step: jogging!
  • Poor people are all the same. ...Complain, complain, COMPLAIN! ...It's ALL you ever do!
  • You are lost, my friend.
  • Stop pretending to be crazy. I mean, it's not fooling anyone! You are just a liar - fooling everyone!
  • What's it like on your planet? ...I mean, it don't look like a lot of fun! ...You'll be happier back on earth!

Taunting gang members or rough individuals

  • Is it true you share girls around? ...Because I find that kind of creepy.
  • I've met tougher boy scouts. ...In fact I've met tougher girl guides.
  • Hey, hardman: FUCK YOU! ...Yeah, I said, FUCK YOU!
  • Hey tough guy! Yeah, YOU! ...You and your friends want to fight?
  • Are you boys for real? ...Or are you off to a fancy dress party?
  • I have confused thoughts about other men! ...So I stick in a gang with guys, just like me!
  • Is the circle jerking stuff as much fun as it sounds? ...And can I join in pal, pretty please?
  • Hi, I'm a real individual. ...So I joined a gang.
  • Well, my, my - aren't we all very tough?
  • Hey buddy, come out of the closet! ...It's not a good look anymore!
  • You look like an ugly woman. ...Having a really bad menstrual cycle.
  • You only act tough in your little gang! ...It really is pathetic.
  • I am a gay, so I join a gang!
  • I am in a gang. ...Uh! I am really tough! ...So, well - it's OK when I jerk off my buddies!
  • You and your friends seem really sad! ...Like you watch too many silly movies!
  • Hey, pal - drop the 'hardman' act. ...It ain't fooling anyone.
  • WOOO~TOUGH GUY!!!!!!!

Greeting/insulting Amanda

  • So, how've you been, Amanda?
  • I miss the old days... good times, watching you shake it.
  • How did you two stay married?
  • Still stripping so much, Amanda?
  • Do you think of me as the one that got away ?
  • Oh, Amanda!
  • Why hello, Amanda!
  • Amanda! I love you!
  • Are those lips fake as well or just the tits?
  • Are you glad that me and Michael are friends again?

Greeting/insulting Tracey

  • My God, you used to be such a nice girl.
  • You're an embarrassment even to your loser of a father!
  • Get a job, you lazy slut!
  • Adolescence hasn't been so kind to you, has it?
  • You're breaking your father's heart, you little tramp.
  • Wow - you've really let yourself go.

Greeting/insulting Jimmy

  • Oh, Jimmy - you're everything that's wrong with the future!
  • Oh, you really are a sad bastard!
  • Jimmy, seriously, your tattoos are lame.
  • Jimmy... man, I feel so bad for you.
  • Jimmy, my boy - you've got to take some exercise.
  • You annoying fat turd.
  • You poor fat fuck.
  • Poor little Jimmy - I bet that blubber has shrunk your cock.

Greeting/insulting Ron

  • Ron, you're awful. In every way.
  • Even your conspiracy theories suck, amigo.
  • Oh... You sad, wretched fool.
  • You're pathetic.
  • My God, You're pathetic, Ron. Pathetic.
  • You need a lot of help.
  • You're a creepy, paranoid wreck of a man.
  • My God, I cannot believe we are friends.
  • You really are a sad excuse for a man.

After bumping into an NPC

  • Would you open your fucking eyes?
  • Oh by the way, that's entirely your fault!
  • Get the fuck out of my way!
  • Look the fuck out!
  • Blind fool!

If bumped into

  • Everyone wants to rub up on T.
  • You gonna say sorry?
  • Now what was that for?
  • Oh, wow baby, that hurt so good!
  • You trying to get my stink on ya?

After running over an NPC

  • Oh, I gotta get my eyes checked!
  • Stop annoying me!
  • You only have yourself to blame!
  • Get out of the way!
  • Now get up!

Getting a Wanted Level

  • Great, police.
  • Wonderful, and my tax dollars hard at work!
  • Shit! Cops.

While activating his special ability

  • It's T-revor time!
  • LETS PARTY, GENTLEMEN!
  • YOU WANNA PARTY, HUH?!
  • Hello?! Who want's some now!?
  • MY NAME'S TREVOR! WHAT'S YOUR NAME?!
  • Oh God, give me the strength!
  • Lord give me strength!
  • Somebody... please!
  • Is there anybody here to goddamn kill!?
  • WHERE ARE YOU ASSHOLES HIDING?!
  • WHERE ARE YOU PRICKS?!
  • COME HERE! SOMEBODY COME, HERE!
  • OHH, LORD HELP ME!!!
  • AWHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

During a shootout

  • Havin' fun, cunts?
  • YEAH?!
  • Scr-ew you!
  • Trevor-motherfucking-Philips! That's me!
  • Trevor Philips. REMEMBER THAT.
  • I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCK WITH ME!

If all armed enemies are killed

  • Is that it? Is that the lot of you?! Fuckin' pathetic!
  • You lot really were pathetic!

After killing someone

  • GOODBYE! From me!
  • Bye, bye.
  • Trevor. Phillips. Remember that. (When shooting and killing someone)
  • That'll teach ya... something or other.
  • I told you not to fuck with me!
  • WELL, I GUESS THAT'LL TEACH YOU!
  • You deserve that, you idiot!
  • Look at me. What'd ya expect?
  • Sorry, pal!
  • Now you: are as dumb as you look!

Hijacking a car with a dead person inside

  • I'll see this put to use!
  • Excuse me!
  • Well, YOU DON'T NEED IT!
  • If ya ain't using it...

If angered

  • Shit, shit, SHIT!
  • Well, I'll be fucked!
  • Crap!
  • Damn!
  • Oh, shit!
  • Bullshit!
  • Fuck me!
  • Fucking fuck.
  • For fuck's sakes!
  • Good Lord above!

If another protagonist crashes the vehicle

  • Give your passengers some warning, eh?
  • Little miscalculation there!
  • Hey, whoa!
  • Would you look out?!
  • Careful, eh!

If a vehicle engine won't start

  • Argh... start, you piece of shit!
  • Start, you turd!
  • Come on, go!
  • START, FOR FUCK'S SAKE! (If wanted)
  • Mmm... Let's go!

Running over an animal

  • 10 points!
  • Squish!
  • Top of the food chain!
  • You'll never win that one, little guy.
  • They're cute, but they're stupid.
  • Guess it's coyote for dinner.
  • They gotta put up an animal crossing sign.
  • Mmm, smells like coyote guts.
  • That was a coyote, that was definitely a coyote.

Falling down or getting run over

  • Ow, ow, OW!
  • Oh... gimme a break.
  • Ahh... Fuck!
  • Unh! Man!
  • Oh... that hurt!

Stealing a car

  • It's just a possession - let it go! Now!
  • Come on, my dear! Walking's fun!
  • STAY. MOTHERFUCKING COOL, PAL. (If wanted)

If Franklin or Michael shoots or fires rockets at Trevor's safehouse

  • Stop shooting at my home!
  • Stop firing rockets at my home, please.

If the player points a firearm at Trevor

  • You getting off on this, little man?
  • This, uhh.. power thing, buddy?
  • Come on then, do it!

Harassing another Faggio rider (Special Switch Scene)

  • We are scooter brothers......SCOOTER BROTHERSSSS!!!!!!!!
  • Come on, scooter brother! Let's go, scooter brother!
  • We are brothers on scooters!
  • Scooter brother!
  • Where are we going today, scooter brother?
  • We will go on a journey, a journey of scooters!
  • Whoa, slow down, scooter brother!
  • My brother, my scooter brother! (If the "scooter brother" dies within Trevor's sight)

Following another car in the LS River or the Lago Zancudo Marshlands (Special Switch Scene)

  • I'm sorry I showed my thingy, okay?!
  • I don't have to make up! But I do need a kiss!
  • Will you stop being such a prude?!
  • We could've had something special! Now look at what you made me do! (If the driver is killed)

Franklin Clinton

Greeting a pedestrian

  • Eh, babe!
  • Eh, dude!
  • Eh, what up my nig?
  • What it do?
  • Yeah, how are you?

Greeting a homeless person

  • Eh, dawg, it's gonna get better. Trust me.
  • Eh, you keep on going dawg, you hear me?

If angered or threatened

  • Bitch-ass bullshit.
  • Man, fuck this shit.
  • Man, screw this.
  • You know what? Fuck this.
  • This don't make no fucking sense.
  • What the fuck?
  • Damn.
  • Crap.
  • Fuck.
  • Oh, shit.

If bumped into

  • Are you for real, homie?
  • Chill out, alright?
  • What?!

Reloading a weapon

  • Eh, I'm reloading!
  • Reloading!
  • I've gotta reload!
  • I'm out!

Insulting someone

  • Man, fuck you.
  • Man, you need help! A lot of help!
  • Motherfucker!
  • Lame ass bitch!
  • Punk!
  • Bitch!
  • Man, you suck.
  • And people say I'm a disgrace to society?
  • Man, you pathetic, fool.
  • Would you fuck off?!
  • Go on, fuck off!
  • Man, you a genetic experiment gone wrong, dawg!
  • Man, you ain't nothing but a punk!
  • Eh, you lame, dog.

If a player points a gun at Franklin

  • Eh, man. I trust you and all, but...
  • Maybe like, point the other way?
  • I don't like staring down the end of that thing, homie.

Getting up after falling

  • Unh! Something don't feel too good!
  • Ah crap, that hurt!
  • Unhh!
  • Oh, man!
  • Shit! That hurt.
  • Ohh, that hurt!

Bumping into someone

  • What's wrong with your damn mind?
  • Come on, move!
  • Look the fuck out!

Greeting Tracey

  • Hey Tracey. It's me, Franklin.
  • Hey, Tracey.
  • Hey there, Tracey.
  • Oh, hey, Tracey.

Greeting Amanda

  • Everything okay, Mrs. De Santa?
  • How you doing, Mrs. De Santa?
  • I hope all is good with you, Mrs. De Santa.
  • Hello, Mrs. De Santa.

Greeting Jimmy

  • Jizzle!
  • Hey, Jizzle!
  • Hey, Jimmy D!
  • Jimmy!
  • Wassup, Jimmy?
  • Hey Jim.
  • Hey, man... I mean, hey, Jizzle.

Greeting/Insulting Denise

  • Can you please be normal today, auntie?
  • Eh, aunt Denise.
  • Stay normal now, auntie D.
  • Wassup, auntie D?
  • Eh, wassup?
  • Eh, auntie D.
  • You one strange woman, auntie D.
  • I often wonder why you never got married, then I remember your personality.
  • Eh, auntie, please be normal, just for once.
  • Well, if it ain't my favorite/only blood relative.

Greeting Lamar

  • Good hanging with you, LD.
  • Hey Lamar.
  • You good, LD?
  • Lamar!
  • Wassup, homie?
  • It's good seeing you, home.
  • How you been man?
  • How you been L?
  • Lamar Davis!
  • LD!

Assaulting someone

  • Yeah... still think you hard?
  • OH, YOU WANT TO GET UP?!
  • Oh, you still got scraps, huh?!

Hailing a taxi

  • Hey!
  • Yo!
  • Taxi!
  • Cab! Eh!

Flirting a stripper

  • Keep doing what you doing!
  • Man, you got it all! Peach body oil, fake guns, hair stitches. Shit, I love it!
  • You keep telling me how great I am!
  • Eh, your ass is hot!

If threatened

  • Eh, let's go fool!
  • Eh, fight fool!
  • So you hard, huh?!
  • So you real mean, huh?!

While shooting

  • You want me, huh?!
  • I knew you was punks!
  • You punk-ass bitches is done, now!
  • Fuck all you punks!
  • Fuck you!
  • Oh, you trying to roll on me, fool?!
  • Bitch-ass punk!
  • Eh, fuck you, fool!
  • Let's see what you got!
  • Eh, let's do this then!
  • I don't give a fuck, asshole!
  • Let's do this, motherfucker!
  • It's on now, motherfucker!
  • Blast o'median, bitches!
  • You bitches can fuck yo'selves!

After killing someone

  • Goodnight, old friend...
  • See you!
  • Well, that's that then!
  • I guess that settles that.
  • Well, that's showin' you!
  • Punk-ass bitch!

In a car crash

  • Eh, my whip!
  • My car, you damn moron!
  • Eh, you an asshole driver!
  • Eh, I'm driving here!
  • Eh, you just turned this into a bucket!
  • Slick wheel work!
  • Nice driving!

If a vehicle engine won't start

  • Start, you piece of crap!
  • Start, you piece of shit! (If wanted)
  • Would you come on?! Damn!

Merryweather

  • Go to hell!
  • Eat shit, bastard!
  • Put the weapon down!
  • Say goodnight!
  • Drop the weapon!
  • You're gonna die, bitch! (Can also be heard from Trevor)
  • You fucking pussy!
  • Bend over, here I come!
  • Nobody's going to find your body!
  • Death embraces you!
  • Prick!
  • Dickhead!

Military/The Professionals

After hanging around the entrance to Fort Zanduco

  • Sir, leave the area now! This is for authorised personnel only.
  • I'm not going to say this again. Leave now.

In combat

  • I'm a fucking Marine!
  • Inbred moron!
  • Die, fucker! Ahhh!
  • Fuckin' hell! ARRRGGHH!
  • EHHH - AARRRGGGHHH!
  • Don't fuck with me!
  • You wanna play with me?
  • You've fucked with the wrong soldier!
  • Mangolez is shot! Mangolez has been fuckin' shot!
  • Semper Fi, motherfucker!
  • I'm gonna kill you!
  • Hit the dirt!
  • Suck my dick!
  • DIE!
  • Fuck you!
  • You cocksucker!
  • Surrender!
  • I'm not afraid to use this!
  • Fucking bum!
  • You're done!
  • You fucking moron!
  • Motherfucker!
  • Trained to serve ass kicking!
  • Drop that weapon!
  • Keep him busy!
  • Here I come!
  • Kill yourself somehow!

If an explosion is imminent

  • Hit the deck!

After being kicked or punched

Air Traffic Controllers

  • You are in a restricted air space! Divert your course or you will be shot down!
  • This is a no fly zone! Divert your course!
  • You are on Fort Zancudo air space, divert immediately.
  • Attention aircraft, this air space is prohibited! Divert course now!
  • You are in the Fort Zancudo no fly zone, divert your course.
  • This is U.S. military airspace. Divert now, or face the consequences.

Paramedics

After seeing the corpse

  • There it is!

While trying to resuscitate the person

  • Don't die on me!
  • Any signs of life?
  • There's still hope!

When failing to save the dead person

  • We were too late!
  • 'City of saints'? More like 'city of death'!
  • We tried our best!
  • This is why I drink.
  • Might as well get the body bag, bro.
  • Why did we even come here?

When angered or insulted

  • I'll get you!
  • Asshole!
  • Piece of shit!
  • Jackass!
  • You think you loco?! Come on!
  • Oh, you're going to be sorry!

Pedestrians

Grand Theft Auto V is the first game that allows the player to greet pedestrians by pressing right on the D-Pad on consoles or the 'E' button on the PC version. However, when playing as Trevor, the player cannot greet pedestrians; instead, by pressing this button near one will cause him directly insulting them. Also greeting the same pedestrian three times will also cause other protagonists to insult them, due to their lack of responses. A pedestrian will either run away, call the police, or pick a fight with the player after being threatened. Threatening a law enforcement officer, will obviously give the player a one star. Some pedestrians will form conversations with the player on rare occasions such as telling the player (except Trevor) about their stories; if the protagonist replies to this pedestrian he will either respond politely or sarcastically. If the protagonist is driving a supercar or expensive car, pedestrians will comment positively on it and take pictures as well. Strangely, this does not work with the InfernusCometBulletZentorno or Turismo R. It is to note that Pedestrians can occasionally call the police if they witness a crime as well. In some situation, some pedestrians may ignore the player's insulting despite how many times the player insults them. (For example, when Trevor sobered up at beach, he may see an obese woman. No matter how many times Trevor insults her, she won't respond to Trevor's trash words.) 

Pilots

If the player steals his vehicle

  • I'ma stand my ground!
  • You're just an asshole!
  • I am not putting up with any of this nonsense!

Prostitutes

While looking for customers

  • Hey baby! Looking for a date?
  • Hey sugar.
  • You look like you've had a rough night. Want some company?

If rejected

  • Come back when you changed your mind.

During oral sex

  • Oh, I'm gonna swallow all of your cum!
  • I want it, I want it!
  • Mmmm, it tastes so good!
  • Ohh, yeah... That's a big one!
  • Mmm, your cock tastes so good!

Mexicans

If threatened

  • Quatre madre!
  • Fuck you, cabroncito!
  • Fuck off!
  • Fuck me in the ass!
  • We're all going to hell!
  • ...Is happening?
  • This is it...!

If the player is run over

  • Hey, I'm sorry that I messed you up, huh?! Did I?
  • Is it weird how turned on I am?

Capitalists

If threatened

  • I am in no fucking mood... for this!
  • Look, I'm having a bad day, okay?! Sorry!
  • Probably an idiot liberal.
  • Probably flunked out of school.
  • What's wrong with the world?!
  • What a fucking asshole!
  • You REALLY want to mess... with me?!

Gangsters

If insulted by Michael or Trevor

  • Old-ass motherfucker!

If annoyed

  • Fool, I've been through the struggle!
  • Fool, I squab; I've been through the struggle!
  • Fool, I squab, like it's my only job.
  • You with the devil!

Industrial Workers

If annoyed

  • Dirtbag!
  • It's on, chump!
  • You messing with a grown-ass man!
  • I'm gonna mess you up!
  • Pot scum!
  • Balls!
  • You picked the wrong guy!

If scared

  • OH, DAMN!
  • Jay crimity!
  • Damnit! I'm calling the cops!
  • Hello, police?! Get down here right away!
  • No effin' way!
  • Oh, God; I don't want to die!
  • Damn!

Security Guards

If the player is wanted

  • I see him!
  • That's him!

If threatened or annoyed

  • Are you questioning my authority?
  • Security, one. Asshole, zero.
  • I have a license to use this!
  • This is not a watergun!
  • Don't walk into a man with a loaded weapon!
  • Well, I guess someone has to be beaten down for something.
  • I knew you were a pussy!
  • I'm gonna crack your fuckin' head open!

If greeted

  • Hey, man.

If stared at

  • What do you want?
  • What the fuck do you want?
  • You're in trouble now!
  • Fuck off!
  • You want something?
  • Hey prick, got a problem?

In combat

  • Get some of this!
  • Eat my shit!
  • He's shooting at me!
  • Prick!
  • You, fucker!
  • Shithead!
  • Asshole!
  • Watch my back!
  • What's my name, bitch?!?
  • Arrgh!
  • Drop the firearm, now!
  • Diee!
  • You fuckin' piece of shit!
  • You fuckin' loser!
  • You're dead!
  • There we go!
  • Let's finish this!
  • ¡Cabrón!
  • Let's end this asshole!
  • I'll kill you!
  • Die, you fuckin' asshole!
  • Oh-oh, I will end you!
  • You motherfucker!
  • ¡Hijo de puta!
  • Screw you!
  • Drop your weapon!
  • Move on, damnit!
  • I don't wanna be here!
  • Put your hands up!
  • Hands where I can see them!
  • Shows over asshole!
  • Come on, give it up!
  • Get me outta here!
  • What the fuck am I doing?!?
  • You fuckin' idiot!
  • Hey, ass-face!
  • He's gonna kill me!
  • You piece of shit!
  • Fuck!

If hit

  • Help me!

When reloading

  • I gotta reload!
  • Reload, reload!
  • Reloading!
  • I need reload, I need reload!
  • I'm outta fuckin' bullets, hold on!
  • Shit, I'm out!
  • I'm running outta ammo!
  • Reloading here!
  • Fuckin' slippery bullets!
  • I gotta reload, OK?!?Just one second!

If guard is hit

  • He's been hit!
  • Oh my God, Albert got shot!
  • Fuck, man down!
  • Help! Somebody's been shot!
  • Oh my God, he shoot him!
  • One guard's been hit!

While taking cover

  • Holy shit!
  • Find cover guys, please!
  • Keep behind something!
  • Fall back, everyone! Fall back!
  • Keep behind some shit!
  • Shit, everyone, take cover!
  • Keep your head down!

If player is hidden

  • Oh err... I can't see him!
  • We've lost that fucker!
  • Oh, great. Where did he go?
  • Where did he go?
  • Wuf! I think he's gone!

Shopkeepers

Los Santos Customs

When entering the store

  • Here for the magic touch?
  • What can the best mechanic in LS do for you?
  • What miracle did you want me to perform?
  • How's it going?
  • Ain't a better mechanic in town than me!
  • What can the best mechanic in LS do for you?
  • What's good?
  • Hey, there.
  • What brings you in today?
  • Best quality service in LS!
  • What's wrong with it now?
  • You here for something special?

When leaving

  • C'mon, don't waste my time. (If you don't buy anything)
  • I have other customers, you know! (If you don't buy anything)
  • Dick! (If you don't buy anything)
  • See you next time!
  • Bye.
  • Enjoy!
  • See you next time!

When a a vehicle has been repaired

  • All patched up!
  • Better than what you came in, that's for sure!
  • Good to go!
  • Better than new!

If you take a long time choosing an item

  • You just going to browse all day?
  • Just holler if you need something.
  • You need something?

If you attempt to choose an item that has not yet been unlocked

  • Sorry, it's on back order.
  • If we ain't got it, you don't need it!

When buying an exhaust customisation

  • It's like giving the finger to mother nature! Awesome!

When buying a questionable customisation

  • Is that street legal? Ah, who cares?

Buying car armour

  • If you're driving on Grove Street: you should be just fine!
  • Have you got beef with the Ballas or something?
  • This shit? It might stop a missile!
  • I'll put it like this: it ain't gonna rust, okay?
  • Safe as a tick on a dog's ass!
  • You could drive off a cliff in that!

If you try to come in with cops on you (last-gen)

  • I'm not accomplice material, sorry.
  • I do not serve felons. Sorry.

If you enter in a cop uniform

  • How's it going, chief?

If you constantly enter the store too much

  • Leave me alone!

If you manage to walk in and then brandish a gun

  • This ain't Ammu-Nation. Put it away.

Ammu-Nation

  • Ammu-Nation: protecting your second amendment.
  • Aw, look at you two together, what a lovely fucking couple! (when buying a gun or piece of armor) 
  • I bet you'll want to use that the second you get out the door! (when buying a gun or piece of armor) 
  • Holy shit! I could smell you before I could even see you, dude! (When entering the store as Trevor) 
  • Now, you're the apocalypse I worry about, friend! (When entering the store as Trevor) 
  • Here's a man I trust with firearms! (when entering the store as Michael)
  • That's good for family events! (when buying ammo)
  • Now that is quality right there! (when buying ammo)
  • These are what I like to call statement weapons! (when looking through heavier weapons)
  • You need a receipt? For taxes? (when buying ammo or firearms)
  • I don't keep a record of purchases!
  • Now here's what I like to see! A young man with an interest in the second amendment! (if the store is entered as Franklin)
  • I've got 10 bucks that says someone's up for a little drive-by tonight! (if the store is entered as Franklin)
  • You look like a friend of mine I accidentally shot at a party! What are the odds, huh? (when buying ammo or firearms)
  • This is your fight, friend!
  • I can't have police in here. Scram!
  • You gotta lose this heat, friend!
  • Can you come back when the fuckin' heat's died down?! Jesus!
  • I can't have you in here with a police escort...
  • You trying to get me shut down? Scram!

24/7/Rob's Liquor/LTD

  • Hello, welcome to my store! (Indian clerks, when entering)
  • Hello, you are my first customer. (Indian clerks, when entering)
  • Shoplifters will be prosecuted! (Indian clerks, while shoplifting)
  • No stealing! Not in my store! (Indian clerks, while shoplifting)
  • Why, hello. (Indian clerks, when entering)
  • I'm watching you! (Chinese clerks, when entering)
  • Ah, welcome. (Chinese clerks, when entering)
  • Ah, good choice! (Chinese clerks, after buying something)
  • Ah, there you go! (Chinese clerks, after buying something)
  • Another happy customer! (after buying something)
  • Okay, okay, I get the drill! (Chinese clerks, during a robbery)
  • Take it easy, I'm doing it! (Chinese clerks, during a robbery)
  • I can't go any faster, please! (Chinese clerks, when intimidated)
  • Okay, okay, I'm putting money in the bag! (Indian clerks, during a robbery)
  • There goes the family vacation! (Indian clerks, after being robbed)
  • I really need to get insurance! (Indian clerks, after being robbed)
  • Now please, just go! (Chinese clerks, after being robbed)
  • I hope you sleep well tonight! (Chinese clerks, after being robbed)
  • I assure you this happens at least once a week! (Chinese clerks, after being robbed)
  • This store is not your personal piggy bank! (When re-entering a previously robbed store in story mode)
  • No! I remember you! You cause trouble! Get out! (When re-entering a previously robbed store in story mode)
  • That gun in my face is not helping (American clerks, while being intimidated)
  • If I see your face in here again... (American clerks, after being robbed)
  • Take it easy! (American clerks, while being intimidated)

Barber Shops

Herr Kutz Barber/O'Sheas Barbers Shop/Beach Combover Barber/Hair on Hawick

  • Why hello there! Have a seat!
  • Have a seat, I will take care of you, honey.
  • What do you have in mind?
  • This is some of my best work yet!
  • Oh, it's fine. Yup.
  • Now where are my glasses? Oh, haha, it should be fine.
  • Come back anytime!
  • Thanks for stoppin' by.
  • Oh God!
  • What the hell?!
  • What the?!
  • Please no!
  • No!!
  • What?! Don't shoot!
  • Oh my God!

Bob Mulét

  • Bye bye, beautiful! (after cutting hair)
  • That was fun. See you around. (after cutting hair)
  • I love the outfit you have on today. Gorgeous! (when cutting hair)
  • What's your scent? I'm in love with it. (when cutting hair)
  • Come in, have a seat.
  • Shall we... begin?

Tattoo Parlors

  • Asshole! (when causing trouble inside the store)
  • Hey there, ready for some inky pain? (when entering the store)
  • Hi, uh... we don't do butterflies on the ankle! (when entering the store)
  • Whoa, a V.I.P customer. I was told to look after you. (when entering the store)
  • Later. (when leaving)
  • Be good. (when leaving)
  • I'm using this money for drugs!
  • Thanks. I need the cash.
  • Come see us again!
  • Hope you like that.
  • Yep, looks good.
  • I do gang stuff too if you need it!
  • I went to art school. Real clean work.
  • Maybe a naked lady tattoo today?
  • Can't go wrong with any of these.
  • Can't go wrong with that.
  • I do oil on canvas, you know? Besides cock piercings.
  • Tell your friends where you got that.
  • That's art, right there.
  • That's... a masterpiece. I'm good.
  • You took that well.
  • Some of my pieces have been in magazines.
  • The guy before you had a naked picture of his mom, done on his arm!
  • How about, a tear drop, by the eye? Make you look hard...

Clothes Store Clerks

Binco/Discount Store

  • So, you're uhh... looking for stuff. (when entering)
  • Hope you find it, I guess.
  • Uhh, you see anything you like?
  • Did somebody say something?
  • Looking for anything special?
  • It's like, awesome stuff everywhere.
  • What?
  • Hope you find whatever it is that you're... looking for?
  • Oh, I'm sorry, I thought...
  • Yeah, just... have a look around, it's okay.
  • Enjoy. (when buying something)
  • Cool. (when buying something)
  • Okay, we're all done, I think. (when buying something)
  • All good. (when buying something)
  • We're done here. (when buying something)
  • Good choice. (when buying something)
  • All yours. (when buying something)
  • Uh, okay. (when buying something)
  • Hasta... (when leaving)
  • Lates... (when leaving)

Suburban

  • Why does someone always come in as soon as I was about to take a break? (when entering the store)
  • There you are, go crazy. (when buying an item from the shop)
  • Hope you don't regret it. (when buying an item from the shop)
  • Maybe it will suit you one day. (when buying an item from the shop)
  • Welcome to the most exciting store in San Andreas. (when entering the store)

Ponsonbys

  • Are you going to buy anything? (when staying inside the shop for too long)
  • Either buy something, or leave! (when staying inside the shop for too long)
  • We... don't have a returns policy.
  • Take as long as you like... (when browsing)
  • We appreciate your business.
  • There you go, thank you.
  • Make sure you come back. (when leaving)
  • Bye, enjoy your purchase. (when leaving)
  • This isn't your clubhouse! (when stepping on top of furniture)

Strip Club Bouncer

  • Michael, man! Good to see you! (when greeting Michael)
  • My boy Frank! Good to see you! (when greeting Franklin)
  • What's up, Mr. C? (when greeting Franklin)
  • Hey boss! How's it going, Trevor? (when greeting Trevor after the mission Hang Ten)
  • Mr. Philips! Hope all is well sir! (when greeting Trevor after the mission Hang Ten)
  • No guns allowed! (if the protagonist brandishes a gun)
  • Hey, hey, hey; no firearms. (if the protagonist brandishes a gun)
  • Hey, you enjoy yourself; alright?

Booty Calls

Liz Macallen

  • Will Santa let me open one gift early? (when giving the player a blowjob during taking home events)

Strippers

Juliet

  • I'm going to blow your mind! (while giving the player a blowjob during taking home events)
  • Sure! Swing by the back, and I'll be there! (after accepting to the Protagonist's request to take her home)
  • Hey sexy! (when greeting the player, only during taking home events)
  • Follow me, honey! (when at her house)
  • This way sexy! (when at her house)
  • Wanna go private, honey? (when suggesting a private dance)
  • Let's go somewhere with a little more privacy, sugar.
  • Hey Frankie, wanna dance with me? (when asking Franklin for a private dance)
  • Frankin, honey! I missed you. Let's go dance. (when asking Franklin for a private dance)
  • Loser! (after the player refuses a private dance)
  • Dipshit! (after the player refuses a private dance)

Infernus

  • You like this fat ass? (during a private dance)
  • I'll give you whatever you want! (when taking her home)
  • I know you want it! (during a private dance)
  • You know you want it! (during a private dance)
  • You're making me so hot! (during a private dance)
  • Let's go to the back room baby. (when suggesting a private dance to the protagonist)
  • Follow Infernus. I will take care of you! (after the protagonist agrees to have a private dance)
  • Am I getting you hard, baby? (during a private dance)
  • Oh yeah, that's my song! (during a private dance)
  • Just one more dance? You know you want it! (when asking for another private dance)

Cheetah

  • I feel so hot! (during a private dance)
  • You want a special dance, just for you?
  • Right this way baby! (after the protagonist agrees to have a private dance)
  • You like this, don't you baby? (during a private dance)
  • Mmm, I feel all sweaty! (during a private dance)
  • Oh god! This makes me horny as hell! (during a private dance)
  • You man enough for another? (when asking for another private dance)

Chastity

  • You want a private dance or what? (when asking for a private dance)

Nikki

  • You want a private dance? (when asking for a private dance)
  • You wanna go in the back, sugar? (when asking for a private dance)
  • Oh yea baby! (during a private dance)
  • Just follow me, sugar. (after the protagonist agrees to have a private dance)
  • You like this sugar? (during a private dance)
  • I think I'd like to hang out with you later! (during a private dance)
  • You feeling it? (during a private dance)
  • That feel good? (during a private dance)
  • Why don't we take this show back to my place? (after a private dance and suggesting the protagonist to take her home)
  • Hi there lover! (after the protagonist picks her up to take her home)
  • You're gonna enjoy this! (while taking her home)
  • Just keep your eyes on this ass and follow me! (when at her house)

Fufu

  • Want a dance in the back? (when suggesting a private dance)
  • You look like you need a dance honey. (when suggesting a private dance)
  • So rude! (after the player refuses a private dance)

Peach

This article or section contains insufficient information and is considered as a Stub. You can help the GTA Wiki by expanding it as much as you can.

Sapphire

  • We should go to the back! What do you say? (when suggesting a private dance)
  • Wanna head to the back? (when suggesting a private dance)
  • Ok, you know where I am. (after the player refuses a private dance)

Police and NOOSE

Police Scanner

  • In errrr [location]
  • In [location]
  • FIB Team dispatched to/from [location]
  • Dispatch air unit from [location]
  • Dispatching SWAT units from [location]
  • Suspect is err [description]
  • Early [early age]
  • Late [late age]
  • Mid [mid age]
  • Young
  • Elderly
  • Air support seek fire on suspect
  • Air support hold your fire
  • Air support move in and immobilize suspect
  • Air support hold fire
  • [district within Los Santos]
  • [district within Blaine County]
  • [name of popular/main streets, eg: Power Street, Portola Drive]
  • Dispatch any unit too [location]
  • Dispatch air unit too [location]
  • A possible [code of crime]
  • A [code of crime]
  • Citizens report a [name/code of crime]
  • A Grand Theft Auto
  • Attack on civillian
  • Attack on Citizen
  • Attack on species
  • Attack on protected species
  • Attack on a NOOSE officer
  • Attack on an officer
  • Shots fired
  • Attack on a vehicle
  • An attack on a vehicle
  • A Bank robbery
  • A motor vehicle accident
  • Suspect has crashed
  • A person [crime]
  • A stolen police vehicle
  • A stolen armored vehicle
  • A stolen plane
  • A stolen helicopter
  • Suspect is in a [color/livery of [vehicle name]]
  • Suspect is in a [color of [type of vehicle]]
  • Suspect last seen in a... [type of vehicle]
  • Suspect doing [speed] miles per hour in... [location]
  • A possible stolen vehicle
  • A structure on fire
  • A vehicle on fire
  • A citizen injured
  • A citizen on fire
  • A citizen killed
  • A deceased person
  • A dead body
  • A burnt dead body
  • A disturbance
  • A possible disturbance
  • A 2-45 [Assault with a deadly weapon]
  • An officer struck by a vehicle
  • An officer down
  • An officer shot
  • An officer assaulted
  • An officer being threatened with a firearm
  • An officer harassed
  • An officer requiring back-up
  • An officer requiring immediate assistance
  • An officer requires immediate help
  • A helicopter down
  • An air unit down
  • An air squad down
  • A station emergency
  • Possession of drugs
  • A possession of drugs for sale
  • A possession of drugs for sale incident
  • A threatening phone call
  • An explosion
  • An aircraft crash
  • Officers have neutralized suspect
  • Attention, all units; threat has been neutralized.

LSPD

When giving orders to other officers

  • Let's go! Move!
  • Let's get in there!
  • Aw, hell! Fall back!
  • Wow, hold up!
  • Cover me!
  • You better cover me!
  • Aim well!
  • You don't wanna miss and make me come after you!
  • Everyone with me?!
  • Get this moron!
  • Open fire!
  • Everybody ready?!
  • I got you covered! (when responding)
  • I was born ready! (when responding)
  • This loser's all mine! (when responding)
  • Damn! GET THIS SCUMBAG!
  • Cover me, all right?!
  • Shoot, dammit! SHOOT!

When a firearm is equipped

  • Oh, shit... A GUN!
  • Look out!

When insulted

  • Fucker!
  • Son of bitch!
  • Pussy!
  • Get ready to be hurt!
  • Stupid ass!
  • Let's keep it nice and calm, right?
  • I'mma teach you a lesson!
  • Whatever!
  • You little dick!
  • If you fuckin' know it!
  • I'm gonna hurt you good, then kill you!
  • What the hell's your problem?
  • You don't want to make me mad. Got it?
  • Calm down!

When speaking on a Harbour Patrol boat megaphone

  • This is the Harbour Patrol! Stop your boat, NOW!
  • Kill the engine and stop your boat, NOW!
  • Los Santos Harbour Patrol! Stop your boat, NOW!

On car megaphone to criminals or protagonists

  • Driver! Stop your vehicle!
  • This is the LSPD! Pull over now!
  • Driver! This is the LSPD! Stop your car now!
  • Stop the car, you FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!
  • Slow down!
  • Hit the brakes!
  • Driver, pull over now! LSPD!
  • Stop your vehicle right fucking now, or I swear I am going to kill ya!
  • We see you! You are finished!
  • Driver, this is the LSPD! Stop your fucking car NOW!
  • Driver, this is the LSPD! Pull over immediately!
  • Driver, this is the LSPD! Stop your vehicle!
  • Driver, this is the LSPD! Come to a stop immediately!
  • Stop your car!
  • Kill this fucker... let's just shoot 'till he's stopped!
  • LSPD! Pull your fucking car over!
  • Oh for fuck's sake, somebody shoot the tires!
  • Let's end this fucking thing! Shoot the tires!

When recognising Trevor

  • Hey, jerkoff! What's up with ya?

When seeing the protagonist or arresting him

  • Stop! Police!
  • Moving south!
  • Yeah, I see him!
  • You're under arrest, you piece of crap!
  • There, gotcha!
  • LSPD! We've got you scumbag! Now freeze!
  • Police! Stop whatever the hell you're doing!
  • Stop, and don't use a muscle! Or you'll be shot by the LSPD!
  • Police! Let's see some hands up!
  • Stop right there, and don't make me do more work, asshole!
  • LSPD! YOU LOSE!
  • Police! Stop right there!
  • Don't be a dick, just get in the car!
  • Police, stop right there!
  • LSPD! Freeze!

When the protagonist gets away

  • Oh, shit we can't lose him! We'll find you asshole!
  • Where is he?!
  • I don't see him!
  • We're going to lose this asshole!
  • He's getting away!
  • WHO'S GOT EYES?!
  • You can't hide, boy! WE WILL TRACK YOU DOWN!
  • Don't tell me I lost this asshole!

When car is on fire, or grenade is thrown

  • Oh, no! It's gonna blow!
  • Hit the deck!

When a Minigun is equipped

  • Jesus, he has a Minigun!
  • Dispatch, he's got a Minigun!

When a Rocket Launcher is equipped

  • He's got a Rocket Launcher!

When a Grenade Launcher is equipped

  • Shit! A Grenade Launcher!

While being stared at

  • You better STOP looking at me!

When NPC's are in the way

  • I'm trapped here! Move!
  • Move out of the way! This is police business!
  • Move it people, this is an emergency!
  • This is the LSPD! Clear the area! Now!
  • This is the LSPD! This is a warning! Clear this area!
  • You can't be here!
  • Move it, folks. NOW.
  • This is the LSPD. Disperse while you can!
  • This is a warning from the LSPD! GET OUT OF HERE!
  • Move it!
  • This is the LSPD. GO AWAY, NOW... OR THERE WILL BE TROUBLE.
  • You shouldn't be here, moron.

When reloading

  • Crap, I'm reloading!

When involved in a collision

  • What the fuck did you do to my ride?!
  • You damaged my wheels...! I'm gonna damage YOU!

When partner is killed

  • This ain't happening!
  • Oh... god.
  • God damn!
  • I need some cover while I bring him to safety!
  • No! No fucking way!
  • Oh, FUCK!
  • Help!
  • Oh, fuck! NO!
  • What the hell?!
  • I need to get him to safety!
  • Officer down!
  • Aw, shit... OFFICER DOWN!

When protagonist gets wasted

  • Perp's down! The asshole's down!
  • Suspect is down, I repeat; suspect is down!
  • Yeah, that's what I'm talking about!

When a Grenade Launcher is equipped

  • Asshole's got a grenade launcher!
  • Is that a fucking grenade launcher?!

When in danger

  • We need some FUCKING BACKUP!
  • Can't we just drop a missile on this moron?!
  • Aw, goddammit! Fall back NOW!
  • Aw, Jesus!
  • Oh, boy!
  • Fall back!
  • I NEED BACKUP!
  • BACK! FALL BACK!
  • AW, HELL... I'M PINNED DOWN HERE!
  • I NEED HELP!
  • CALL IN NOOSE, NOW!

Taunting criminals

  • Criminal scum!
  • Motherfucker!
  • Piece o' crap!
  • You peeing in your pants now?!
  • You stupid piece of crap!
  • You're done!
  • You scumbag!
  • Never mess with me!
  • Fucking jerk!
  • I never lose, moron!
  • DIE!
  • I'll kill you, you piece of garbage!
  • Piece of garbage!
  • I can just kill you and make up a reason later!
  • It's over!
  • Shitdick. You hear me?! Shitdick!!!

When being followed

  • Quit following me!

When multiple protagonists are wanted simultaneously

  • I swear, I'll shoot you ONE BY ONE!
  • You are finished, dickheads! Stop! (in car chase)
  • Where'd they go?! (when sight is lost, but can be heard regardless in any situation)

When on the dispatch radio

  • Dispatch, this animal's behind the wheel!
  • Dispatch, suspect has entered the metro!
  • Dispatch, suspect has entered the freeway!
  • Dispatch, suspect is on foot! I repeat, suspect is on foot!
  • Dispatch, he's got a minigun!
  • This is air support; suspect is heading NORTH.
  • This is air support, we have a visual on the suspect.
  • Reporting 1183! (Police code for an accident)
  • Dispatch, suspect's vehicle in a collision!
  • The suspect is leaving the freeway!
  • Dispatch, suspect is leaving the freeway, now!
  • We're airborne and moving in. Over.
  • This is air support, we've lost the suspect.
  • Eagle 10 here. We have a visual on the ground?
  • We have a visual. Moving in.
  • This is air support, we have him heading east.
  • We got eyes, he's on foot. Over.
  • This is Eagle Three, we don't see the suspect!
  • Suspect is heading west, do you copy?
  • Suspect is heading EAST.
  • Dispatch, suspect is on foot.
  • Eye in the sky has no visual!
  • I got eyes on the suspect!

After nearly getting run over

  • Hey! Watch it!

When greeted

  • Hey.

When chatting to other officers

  • Yeah! *Chuckle*
  • Appreciate it.
  • I met this girl on a 459 call (police code for a burglary)... she's the victim's roommate. HOT AS HELL. I told her I may have to question her again.
  • No, shit.

Female officers

  • I've got your six!
  • What did ya think was going to happen?
  • We need backup!
  • LSPD, there's nowhere to go, stop the vehicle.
  • Move dammit, police in pursuit
  • I'm going in!
  • Give yourself up!
  • I need backup, now!
  • Let's keep it moving!
  • Don't lose him!
  • Police, you're only making this worse!
  • Please move to the side of the road!
  • I'm under heavy fire, need assistance!
  • Where do you think you're going?
  • Oh my god!!!
  • Assaulting an officer are we?!
  • We will shoot out your tires!
  • Suspect is down!
  • Stop, police!

Sheriff

  • Son of a bitch!
  • When I say go, shoot this asshole!
  • When I give the signal, shoot this asshole!
  • Throw your fucking keys out the window!
  • Keys out of the ignition, now!
  • You need to pull over now!
  • Police, stop your car.
  • You piss me off, stop!
  • Pull the hell over!
  • Please, stop the car!
  • Stop that vehicle right now!
  • I'm ordering you to stop!
  • Let's see those hands right now!
  • Don't make me kill you asshole!
  • Now, now!
  • Don't worry buddy!
  • Get in there!
  • I don't think so buddy!
  • Well look at you all slow and dumb.
  • Reach for the sky buddy!
  • Well, well look who it is.
  • Not on my watch!
  • We're gonna lose him!
  • Shit, we cannot lose this turd purd!
  • He's getting away!
  • Suspects on PCP we're losing him!
  • Asshole.
  • Dumb piece of shit.
  • You people never learn!
  • I'm warning you kill the engine!
  • Imma beat you when I catch you!
  • Watch my back!
  • I don't get payed enough for this shit!
  • Where's my cover?!
  • Police! Put her out!
  • We gotta fall back!
  • You asshole!
  • Get outta the dam way!
  • Don't make me turn you into a internet video, asshole.
  • You're surrounded.
  • You got me?!
  • Stop your vehicle!
  • Stop the vehicle now...
  • Shoot the tires out!
  • You dumb ass, put that away!
  • Hands in the air!
  • What a waste a' time!
  • Give me a break with that shit!
  • Do not take...another..step!
  • Nowhere to go!
  • Asshole is on [road/highway], turning [direction turned].
  • You 'ave pissed me off! Stop!
  • Turn off the engine in your vehicle.
  • Pull over to the side of the road.
  • Now we both know, that ain't a good idea!
  • Take him out!
  • Stop the fucking vehicle!
  • We need NOOSE down here now!
  • Stop the vehicle, we need to have a little chat!
  • Are you deaf? Stop the car!
  • I am not accustomed to repeating myself! Stop!
  • What part of stop don't you understand?
  • I've got an idea to end this for good!

NOOSE

  • Stop, right now!
  • Give us a sec' to reload!
  • Killing makes my dick hard!
  • Die! "screams while firing"
  • I'm the last thing you're ever gonna see!
  • Move in!
  • We're taking casualties.
  • Man down, I repeat, man down!
  • Man down, I repeat, M.O.S is down!
  • Somebody help me!
  • Son of a bitch.
  • I don't see him!
  • She's gonna blow!
  • For the love of god!
  • There's the bastard!
  • Cover yourself!
  • Who's got eyes??!!
  • Stop! And put your hands in the air!
  • You're going down!
  • Protect yourself, there's shrapnel everywhere!
  • The threat has been neutralised.
  • Holy shit!
  • Visual contact lost!
  • Drop your fucking weapon!
  • Kiss the dirt!
  • Fuckin' pussy!
  • I kill for a living!
  • Drop the gun, or I'll shoot!
  • I can, and will kill you!
  • I, will use deadly force!
  • Nobody's going to your funeral!
  • Kill him!

Gangs

The Lost MC

  • You ain't got nowhere to go!
  • Piece of shit!
  • You ain't going nowhere!
  • I'm gonna kill you then go blaze!
  • The Almighty forgives, the Lost MC don't!
  • Oh shit, they got Charlie!
  • Fuck you, and your mama, too!

Ballas

  • You in the wrong hood!
  • Yeah, so where you from, bitch?
  • Just here keeping this Original Covenant shit Original, the ol' fashioned way. (reference to set)
  • Don't fuck with the Ballas, baby! We go out in a flame! (OC Ballas in a gunfight)
  • Ballas for life! (OC Ballas in a gunfight)
  • Man, you a piece of shit! (insulting or hostile South Side Ballas)
  • Man... the fuck you over here for? (When Franklin or Trevor enters the Ballas territory)
  • Me and you gonna need a doctor, buddy (fighting OC Balla)
  • You sorry-ass chump! (hostile OC Balla)
  • You's a stupid-ass bitch! (hostile OC Balla)
  • What? Are we having a fuckin' staring contest or something? (when the player watches an OC Balla too long)
  • You Families scouts are so obvious! We recognize you bitches. (When Franklin and Trevor enter the territory)
  • O.C.B.G, get 'em up, motherfucker (fighting Balla claiming his set)
  • Wow, look at this motherfucker! He's trippin'. (fighting OC Balla)
  • I'm gonna whip my motherfucking pistol out. (melee fighting South Side Balla ironically)
  • 1-5-2-7! (Balla in a gunfight claiming a number corresponding to his set?)
  • Mmm, I put the franchise tag on that ass! (Creepy pick-up line)
  • Ballas & dollaz, you get all four corners, girl. (Pick-up line)
  • Whoo! Fine as a motherfucka'! (Pick-up line)
  • Come put that lipstick on my dickstick, beyitch! (Creepy pick-up line)
  • Oh, I think I'm in love, player. Give me a smile, baby! (Pick-up line)

Vagos

  • LSV, fucking puto!
  • Ayuda! Man down, man down!
  • Puta Madre piece of shit!
  • That's it! Nowhere to escape now!
  • Brother's hit! Ayudale!
  • Ya te cargo la chingada, pendejo!
  • Amigos! Necesitamos ayuda!
  • Say adios, puto!
  • Die, motherfucker!
  • Vagos, bitch!

The Families

  • What's going on, Frank? (to Franklin only)
  • Ey, that's my boy Frank, ey! (to Franklin only)
  • Old lame-ass motherfucker! (Carson Ave/Chamberlain Families fighting Michael or Trevor)
  • Ballas? They some pussy-ass bitches. (Carson Ave/Chamberlain Families in conversation)
  • Man, if my moms joins the Ballas... (Carson Ave/Chamberlain Families in conversation)
  • Your marks ain't shit. Davis gang, bitch. (hostile insulting Davis Neighborhood Families)
  • What kind of dressing do you like on your knuckle sandwich, 'cause I'm about to serve you up "nice"?! (fighting Davis Neighborhood Families)
  • FAMILIES! YEEEEAH! (Carson Ave/Chamberlain Families in gunfight)
  • Come get the Family beatdown! (fighting Families)
  • Wanna fuck with my Family? Huh?! (fighting Families)

Rednecks/O'Neils

  • Chester is down!
  • Looks like someone had a little too much incest last night.
  • Eat this!
  • Shit dick!
  • Piece of fucking welfare trash!
  • Oh, fuck you Ted, I ain't bothering you no more!
  • Call Jesse in the clinic! We got one hurt, bad!
  • You're fucking dead, dead, dead!
  • I need to reload!
  • Motherfucker!
  • Die!
  • I've had enough of you!
  • You're an ass-kisser!
  • Dumbass!
  • Hey, shit-for-brains!
  • Bullshit!
  • I'm gonna have me some fun with you!
  • Fucknut!
  • Go get fucked!
  • Screw you!
  • Get into cover!

Other Characters

Wade Hebert

  • Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! (when a gun is fired)
  • Aaaaaaahhhh! (when a gun is fired)

While at the Vanilla Unicorn

  • I'd ask for your number, but they took my phone.
  • Can somebody get me a sandwich?
  • I don't know if it's day or night. I don't even know what month it is.
  • If it's possible, I might be becoming immune to boobies.
  • What would really turn me on is you wearing clown face.
  • I lost count of how many boobies I seen.
  • Sometimes I miss the sunlight.
  • They only play, like, six songs here. It's kinda making me crazy.
  • Can you ask the DJ to play some horrorcore?
  • Whenever I try and leave, they give me another dance.
  • Do any of you ladies like wearing clownface?
  • Cousin Floyd says strip clubs objectify women. But you ain't objects, you're people.

To Franklin or Michael

  • Fancy seeing you here.
  • Hey, I know that guy. It's me. Wade.
  • Trevor's somewhere, I think.

To Trevor

  • Can we stop by Debra's place, T?
  • You should get Ron to stop by, Trevor.
  • Hey Trevor, these girls are real hospitable.
  • Floyd's here, right? For real this time?
  • The ladies are being real nice to me, Trevor.

Ron Jakowski

  • Oh, Lordy! (when a gun is fired)
  • Oh, shit! (when a gun is fired)
  • Shit, shit, shit! (when a gun is fired)

Greeting/insulting Michael

  • Oh, it's you. Mr. Fancy Big City Ideas.
  • Don't you have something to be doing? Like calling your therapist?
  • Ain't Trevor got some use for you? 'Cause I don't.

Responding to Trevor

  • I'm sorry, Trevor.
  • I know, Trevor. I know. I'm sorry.
  • I know, Trevor.
  • Thanks, Trevor.
  • I know. From you.
  • I know, Trevor. I'm awful.
  • You're right, Trevor. I'm a sad, wretched fool!
  • Me too, Trevor. Me too.
  • The worst excuse, Trevor!
  • In every way, Trevor!

Amanda De Santa

Responding to Trevor

Before Did Somebody Say Yoga?
  • Hello, Trevor!
  • Absolutely, whatever you say.
  • Hey, Trevor. It's Mrs. De Santa now.
  • Oh, hello, Trevor.
  • Just fine, Trevor.
After Reuniting the Family
  • How's your mom, Trevor? I miss her.
  • Happy not seeing you, Trevor!
  • Still masturbating so much, Trevor?
  • Just don't kill me, Trevor. That's all I ask.
  • I miss every girl calling you the one pump chump.
  • Even more surprising is how did you stay single?
  • Oh, creepy!
  • Oh, that creepy act won't work with me!
  • Yes, you're an ideal friend for him.

Responding to Michael

Before Did Somebody Say Yoga?
  • My husband's a murderer. That's what's up, angel.
  • Not really, but I know you don't care.
  • Nothing is up with me, Michael, everything is pretty down.
  • I'm wondering when my life went wrong, Michael.
  • Oh, shut up, Michael.
  • Yes, I'm married to a sociopath, life is simply fantastic.
  • Very little is up, Michael, almost everything is down.
  • Just wonderful.... seriously. Wonderful.
  • Just trying to find some internal peace, Michael.
  • Just great, my feckless, faithless husband.
After Reuniting the Family
  • I think we might just make it, Michael!
  • I think so. I feel we're making progress.
  • To know everything is to forgive everything, Michael.
  • Hey, Michael.
  • Oh hello, Michael...
  • Okay, honey. How are you?
  • Hello, my deeply flawed but almost loveable husband!
  • Yes, I think so.
  • Yes. I think i'm actually okay.
  • Not perfect, but we're trying!

Responding to Franklin

  • Hey, Franklin.
  • Oh, please. Call me Amanda.
  • Not really, but i'll survive.
  • Sure, yeah, great. Whatever, Franklin.
  • All good, just trying to keep my idiot husband out of trouble.
Note: Dialogues after Reuniting the Family remains the same as before Did somebody say Yoga?

Jimmy De Santa

  • Hey, c'mon! (when brandishing a gun)
  • C'mon, please. (when brandishing a gun)
  • Chill out with that! (when brandishing a gun)
  • How'd you not see me? I'm huge. (when bumped into)
  • Ah, you hurt me! (when bumped into)
  • Look out! (when bumped into)
  • Excuse me! (when bumped into)
  • Oh, what the?! (when bumped into)
  • You're an asshole. (when bumped into)
  • You clearly have no penis. (when bumped into)
  • You clearly hate humanity. (insult)
  • You're clearly a terrible human being. (insult)

Responding to Michael

  • Hey, pop.
  • Hey, dad.
  • Father.
  • Loser!
  • Whatever you say, dad.
  • Actually, it's Jizzle.
Note: Dialogues after Reuniting the Family remains the same as before Did somebody say Yoga?

Responding to Trevor

  • I always looked up to you, T.
  • You just don't get me, do you?
  • Give me a break, Uncle T - I'm trying.
  • Give me a break, Uncle T. You're as bad as my dad.
  • I try, Trevor... I just prefer smoking pot.
  • Actually, no. It's still okay.
  • Hey, it's not Jimmy - it's Jizzle.

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