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The eXsorbeo is a handheld game system in the GTA III Era. It is only
featured on its teaser site for Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and in adverts on radio stations. The handheld device is shaped like male genitalia, which is considered another sexual joke from Rockstar, especially knowing one of the lines one of the characters in the radio advert is saying: "Mom, look, I'm playing with myself!", a clear reference to masturbation. Likewise, the analogue stick of the device is shaped like a penis.

The eXsorbeo is mentioned once in Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories: a caller on Nurse Bob's show on Liberty City Free Radio complains that his girlfriend moans about him playing the game 'One Eyed Monster War' too much. The eXsorbeo is a spoof of both the Sega Game Gear and the Nintendo Gameboy.

An advertisement for the eXsorbeo can be found in the San Andreas game manual.

Games Released

  • Morning Missile Crisis - "Every dawn was the same - Domestic nuclear holocaust, nearly averted!"
  • Free the Hostages - "If you don't, they eventually got out themselves."
  • One Eyed Monster War - "Strangle a big angry monster until you strangle the life out of it! Released in 1991."
  • Zif - "Woops!"
  • Squirt - "That game taught me how to clean up after myself!"
  • Pocket Pool - "Hole in the corner pocket, every time. This was all about the gameplay. Nobody Ever Finished the last pro level challenge, EXCEPT ME!"
  • Mortal Sin - "THE GAME THEY TRIED TO BAN!"
  • Tonsil Hockey - "A great game"


  • Pink eXsorbeo Vibrate - Comes with "Pocket Pool", "Squirt" and "Zif".
  • Yellow eXsorbeo - Comes with "One Eyed Monster War", "Morning Missle Crisis" and "Free The Hostages"
  • Brown eXsorbeo SImulator - Comes with "Mortal Sin" and "Tonsil Hockey"


On the site there is an emulator for the game One Eyed Monster War. You touch the screen to play. The objective of the game is to shoot the monster in the eye until you kill it.

However, the monster is 100% unbeatable. There is a deliberately-placed "glitch" that causes the monster's sticky ammunition to steer up to hit you.


  • Morning Missile Crisis is a reference to the term "Morning Wood", when one wakes up with an erection.
  • One Eyed Monster is another sexual joke, as this is one of the several nicknames given to a penis. The game also requires you to move your character up and down, simulating masturbation while the One Eyed Monster shoots "sticky goo" at you.
    • The said goo is obviously representative of semen shot out during an orgasm.
  • Pocket Pool is another term for masturbation.
  • Tonsil Hockey is another term for making out.
  • Gamehandle of EXsorbeo is shaped like a penis.


See also

External links

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