Washed-up TV fossil Miranda Cowan - aka the Silicone Slattern – put on her own drunken show at a Los Santos strip club last night in yet another desperate attempt to garner media attention and claw back some relevance. Well, Miranda, I guess it worked. Here you are, back in the news. Hope all that time dating 25-year-olds, falling out of nightclubs and flashing your crotch at photographers was worth it. The thing is… you’re not fooling anybody, especially with that new plastic surgery vibe you’ve got. Everybody knows that you’re 39, which is 93 in celebrity years. You’re finished. Our readers don’t care about you. We are all about the young and dumb.
- The 21st Century xxx