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Michael De Santa

Occupation: Retired
Relationship Status: Just about married
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LifeInvader GTAV Kyle Profile large
Lifeinvader-GTAV-Redwood

Family 3
LifeInvader GTAV Amanda Profile large
Amanda De Santa
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Friends 7
LifeInvader GTAV Kyle Profile large
Kyle Chavis
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Stalking 1
Lifeinvader-GTAV-Redwood
Redwood Cigarettes
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Messages
LifeInvader GTAV MaryAnn Profile large
MaryAnn Quinn
Posted an update
I just got beaten in a bike race by a homeless crackhead. Thanks. You've put some kind of creepy middle-aged man curse on me.

LifeInvader GTAV Lester Profile large
Lester Crest
Posted an update
You can retire for real this time, old friend.

LifeInvader GTAV Jimmy Profile large
Jimmy De Santa
Posted an update
I've learned my lesson. No more flaming people online unless it's 100% anonymously.

LifeInvader GTAV Lester Profile large
Lester Crest
Posted an update
So now we're running strategy meetings from a strip club? You're really letting Philips run with the ball these days.

LifeInvader GTAV Amanda Profile large
Amanda De Santa
Posted an update
See you in a few days. The house is going to take some cleaning.

LifeInvader GTAV Tracey Profile large
Tracey De Santa
Posted an update
So much for everything being fine now. Yeah, apart from the robo-soldiers in my bedroom with machine guns!!!

LifeInvader GTAV Jimmy Profile large
Jimmy De Santa
Posted an update
Can't believe you're a movie producer! You're almost cool, Pop!

LifeInvader GTAV Amanda Profile large
Amanda De Santa
Posted an update
I just got an invitation to a movie premiere! First thing I've opened in years that hasn't been a bill or a court summons. xoxoxo

LifeInvader GTAV Tracey Profile large
Tracey De Santa
Posted an update
Now that I'm almost famous and have stalkers and shit, this psycho-over-protective-dad routine is finally starting pay dividends. Love you, Pop. xx

LifeInvader GTAV Amanda Profile large
Amanda De Santa
Posted an update
We can do this. I know now that this family is too irreparably damaged to have any hope of a normal relationship with anyone else. We're stuck with each other. And that's as close to a "I love you" as I've been in a very long time.

LifeInvader GTAV Tracey Profile large
Tracey De Santa
Posted an update
All those guy friends you've violently assaulted in the past and finally this time it might actually get me somewhere! Fame or Shame here I come!

LifeInvader GTAV Jimmy Profile large
Jimmy De Santa
Posted an update
Physically assaulting annoying celebrities and yoga instructors! When it comes to father-son bonding that's so much more speed!

LifeInvader GTAV Amanda Profile large
Amanda De Santa
Posted an update
Just let me know you're ok?

LifeInvader GTAV Tracey Profile large
Tracey De Santa
Posted an update
Hi Dad. Hope you're staying out of trouble and not just eating junk food. Things are going great for me, looks like that TV thing might work out after all. Take care of yourself PLEASE!!!

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Jimmy De Santa
Posted an update
This bouncing from crib to crib sleeping on couches blows dick. I was thinking maybe you could rent an apartment for me and then you could even crash there sometimes where you get really lonely (you'd have to call ahead of course)?

LifeInvader GTAV Lester Profile large
Lester Crest
Posted an update
Glad to hear you haven't been turned into high-fat-content burger meat. Didn't I tell you there's an app for everything these days? Never say I don't look out for you.

LifeInvader GTAV Tracey Profile large
Tracey De Santa
Posted an update
If it makes you feel any better, Fabien is a real douchelord.

LifeInvader GTAV Amanda Profile large
Amanda De Santa
Posted an update
I hope none of this stuff I'm seeing on the news has anything to do with you.

LifeInvader GTAV Tracey Profile large
Tracey De Santa
Posted an update
Hope you're taking care of yourself, Dad. I know what a magnet for absolute chaos you are.

LifeInvader GTAV Tracey Profile large
Tracey De Santa
Posted an update
Jackie from across the street says the house has been empty for days - what's going on? Where are you?

LifeInvader GTAV Hayden Profile large
Hayden Dubose
Posted an update
Are you guys on vacation? Haven't seen anyone at the house for a while? Just being a good neighbor!

LifeInvader GTAV Lester Profile large
Lester Crest
Posted an update
Can't believe you brought me out to this backwater shithole. Everybody looks like they're related.

LifeInvader GTAV Lester Profile large
Lester Crest
Posted an update
Hope you're enjoying your vacation, idiot. I hear Mexico is lovely this time of year?

LifeInvader GTAV Lester Profile large
Lester Crest
Posted an update
Just had a quick peek at your day trading accounts - wow you're shit.

LifeInvader GTAV Lester Profile large
Lester Crest
Posted an update
Are you too technically inept to post anything, or is this just another one of your masterful attempts to stay "hidden"?

LifeInvader GTAV Tracey Profile large
Tracey De Santa
Posted an update
You know I do miss you, in some weird codependent way. But this is so much healthier for everyone right now.

LifeInvader GTAV Jimmy Profile large
Jimmy De Santa
Posted an update
I know this is kinda awkward after the whole spiking incident but I've already blown through all the cash I took from you. Can you sopt me $1K for the next couple of weeks? I'm still your only son after all. IM me or something. Later.

LifeInvader GTAV Amanda Profile large
Amanda De Santa
Posted an update
Makes a change to be with a man who can satisfy me phyiscally, emotionally and spiritually.

LifeInvader GTAV Lester Profile large
Lester Crest
Posted an update
Next time you pick a job maybe try something that isn't going to start World War 3? When did you get so stupid? Oh wait, yes, during the last 10 years you've spent sitting in the sun drinking yourself to death. I forgot.

LifeInvader GTAV Jimmy Profile large
Jimmy De Santa
Posted an update
You'll thank me for anaesthetizing you one day, I promise. I hope it gave you some perspective into how unbelievably fucked up our lives are. We all need some distance.

LifeInvader GTAV Lester Profile large
Lester Crest
Posted an update
I'm still amazed to find possibly the most antisocial luddite in history on here.

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Amanda De Santa
Posted an update
I thought you promised me we'd never see that psycho again? This clean slate of yours seems to be getting dirtier by the day.

LifeInvader GTAV Tracey Profile large
Tracey De Santa
Posted an update
And wtf is uncle trevor doing here? How is he even still alive?

LifeInvader GTAV Tracey Profile large
Tracey De Santa
Posted an update
That was my big break! I was going to be famous. Lazlow said the camera loves me! Why are you never there when I need you as a father but ALWAYS there when I don't??? Don't you want me to be happy? I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS.

LifeInvader GTAV Lester Profile large
Lester Crest
Posted an update
Nice job. A real gem, you might say! Just like the good old days.

LifeInvader GTAV Amanda Profile large
Amanda De Santa
Posted an update
I realize it's been a bad run recently what with the misunderstanding with the tennis coach and now the misunderstanding with the shoplifting but if there was ever a man who didn't have the right to judge? Try to focus more not on what I am doing but WHY I am doing it.

LifeInvader GTAV MaryAnn Profile large
MaryAnn Quinn
Posted an update
Don't get any ideas. The only reason I tracked you down was because I don't want you to think that winning that run was anything other than poor mismanagement of carbs on my part. Just so we're both clear that on any other day I would have annihilated you. Best, MaryAnn.

LifeInvader GTAV Jimmy Profile large
Jimmy De Santa
Posted an update
So seriously what is the new TV situation? Because this needs to get rectified like asap.

LifeInvader GTAV Tracey Profile large
Tracey De Santa
Posted an update
I hate you. How could you embarrass me like that? Why do you have to be such a fucking caveman? A couple of the guys on that yacht were legitimate industry people. Are you trying to ruin the rest of my life? Do anything like that again and I really will get into porn just to punish you.

LifeInvader GTAV Jimmy Profile large
Jimmy De Santa
Posted an update
Good hanging out today at Vespucci Beach, pop. I think. Although I'm kind of weirded out by it. And I have these scary pains in my thighs. Let's just do something inside next time where my glandular issues and your angers issues won't get us in trouble?

LifeInvader GTAV Lester Profile large
Lester Crest
Posted an update
Wow, you really made yourself hard to find with the whole family on here.

LifeInvader GTAV Lester Profile large
Lester Crest
Posted an update
Ok, I'd say you've atoned for that decade of poor friendship. How ironic we're both on Lifeinvader? Too soon?

LifeInvader GTAV Hayden Profile large
Hayden Dubose
Posted an update
I was driving through Vinewood earlier and saw a guy dressed like a moronic teenager who looked the spit of you! I must be going crazy!

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Kyle Chavis
Posted an update
Listen bud, sorry again. Not cool. Again, goes without saying that I'll comp the session. No hard feelings I hope.

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Amanda De Santa
Posted an update
Don't blame Kyle. I thought we had an understanding??? It can't be one rule for you and another for me. What about those three charges to Honkers last month? You think I don't look at the bank statements? Anyway, let's move on... you know, for the kids and all that.

LifeInvader GTAV Jimmy Profile large
Jimmy De Santa
Posted an update
So yeah sorry about the boat I was just trying to use my initiative and make a contribution to the finances like you keep saying I need to. Gotta get creative in a recession! At least I was outside right??? That home invader turned out to be pretty cool btw.

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Jimmy De Santa
Posted an update
Are you sure you aren't completing losing your mind? I saw you staggering around Legion Square earlier yelling shit about aliens? It's textbook midlife crisis, Dad, get a grip.

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Jimmy De Santa
Posted an update
I'm sorry about the shady lease but was it really necessary to destroy the car? And can I get another one? Maybe by tomorrow? Got plans that's all thx.

LifeInvader GTAV Jimmy Profile large
Jimmy De Santa
Posted an update
Do you even know how to use this, old man?

LifeInvader GTAV Hayden Profile large
Hayden Dubose
Posted an update
Keep leaving you voicemails about golf - anyone would think you were ignoring me, neighbor :)

LifeInvader GTAV Tracey Profile large
Tracey De Santa
Posted an update
5 Lifeinvader friends? That is so tragic I don't even know where to start.

LifeInvader GTAV Tracey Profile large
Tracey De Santa
Posted an update
I don't know who pervs my friends more you or Jimmy

LifeInvader GTAV Kyle Profile large
Kyle Chavis
Posted an update
Mrs De Santa is really making great progress with her long strokes

LifeInvader GTAV Amanda Profile large
Amanda De Santa
Posted an update
Thanks for forgetting our anniversary again.

LifeInvader GTAV Jimmy Profile large
Jimmy De Santa
Posted an update
I watched that many wives of alfredo smith movie like you said. It sucks massive dongs.

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Amanda De Santa
Posted an update
Call me when you regain consciousness. I love that you get at me about daytime drinking. Major pot kettle.

LifeInvader GTAV Jimmy Profile large
Jimmy De Santa
Posted an update
I've been shouting from my room for like 10 minutes now but nobody's answering. Are you home? Can you bring me another soda?

LifeInvader GTAV Hayden Profile large
Hayden Dubose
Posted an update
Thanks for lending me that Rum Runner movie. There's something about that girl in the wheelchair...

LifeInvader GTAV Amanda Profile large
Amanda De Santa
Posted an update
How much is that smarmy shrink of yours again? Because you need a refund, Psycho.

LifeInvader GTAV Jimmy Profile large
Jimmy De Santa
Posted an update
Go on, update your status, dad, prove you can operate the internet.

LifeInvader GTAV Hayden Profile large
Hayden Dubose
Posted an update
So apparently my wife wants to switch to the same pool boy Amanda uses? Can you pass on contact details?

LifeInvader GTAV Amanda Profile large
Amanda De Santa
Posted an update
Stop flicking cigar butts in the flower beds!

LifeInvader GTAV Kyle Profile large
Kyle Chavis
Posted an update
Sorry to trouble you Mr De Santa but I'm still waiting on last week's money. $450 (including overtime)

LifeInvader GTAV Hayden Profile large
Hayden Dubose
Posted an update
Thanks for loaning us your maid and for being such a good neighbor (you can imagine what I first thought when I heard the "De Santas" were moving in!) I owe you a beer some time.

LifeInvader GTAV Tracey Profile large
Tracey De Santa
Posted an update
If you keep refusing to pay for my modeling portfolio I'll have to get them on the cheap with some shady backalley type. Is that what you want?

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Kyle Chavis
Posted an update
So when am I going to get you out on the court, bud? I hear you were quite the high school athlete.

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Amanda De Santa
Posted an update
Just test drove the new Pegassi. Sooooooo ME! We can't be fully maxed on the 'mortgage', right?

Lifeinvader-GTAV-Redwood
Redwood Cigarettes
Posted an update

Redwood Smoke your way out of the economic crisis with Redwood. The cigarette that built America.


LifeInvader GTAV Hayden Profile large
Hayden Dubose
Posted an update
How's the day trading going? I had another double-digit month!

LifeInvader GTAV Amanda Profile large
Amanda De Santa
Posted an update
Will you clean the juicer after you use it?

LifeInvader GTAV Tracey Profile large
Tracey De Santa
Posted an update
Do you feel good about yourself now? Why do you have to scare off every guy that shows any interest in me? We were only cuddling. Thanks for ruining my only chance at happiness AGAIN.

LifeInvader GTAV Jimmy Profile large
Jimmy De Santa
Posted an update
Do you ever find it a little weird being a grown man with no friends?

LifeInvader GTAV Kyle Profile large
Kyle Chavis
Posted an update
Just so there's no confusion Mrs De Santa was already passed out when I arrived for the session today. I don't need another one of those court cases!

LifeInvader GTAV Hayden Profile large
Hayden Dubose
Posted an update
Great looking at the yacht with you buddy. Hope you didn't mind me tagging along. She's a beauty. "Jacqueline" Bet there's a story there :)

LifeInvader GTAV Amanda Profile large
Amanda De Santa
Posted an update
Answer your phone Michael! If you're banging a stripper again!

LifeInvader GTAV Jimmy Profile large
Jimmy De Santa
Posted an update
Minor emergency. No food in the house. Taken car and credit card. Later on.

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