- "None of yous is gonna get a medal for playing hero. All you's gonna get is a bullet to the heart!"
- ―Michael Keane to the bank hostages in Three Leaf Clover.
Michael Keane (Irish: Mícheál Ó Catháin), also known as Saint Michael, is a character in the Grand Theft Auto series, who appears as a minor character in Grand Theft Auto IV and The Ballad of Gay Tony.
Michael Keane is from Irish origins and a member of the McReary crime family. It is implied that his parents are siblings, although Michael never confirms or denies it. The insults are likely used to mock his intelligence.
He was often called "stupid" by Packie McReary and other members of the gang, and was often accused of being inbred. Packie also referred to him as "Saint Michael", mainly after his death.
He often worked with McReary and Gordon Sargent, specializing in robberies and hijackings.
Events of Grand Theft Auto IV
Michael, alongside Gordon, meets Niko when they, alongside Packie, plan an assault on an Ancelotti crime family asset.
Michael accompanied McReary, Gordon, and Niko Bellic to the Ancelotti waste management plant on Colony Island, shooting their way in and successfully stealing the Ancelottis' payment. Keane and Sargent provided covering fire as McReary and Bellic made their escape. The two later escape as well.
At first Michael, like Gordon, is unsure of Niko; But after helping them steal the Ancelotti's money, he soon takes a liking to Niko.
Michael and Packie back Niko up when Gerald McReary doesn't want Niko to take part in the Bank Heist.
Soon after the former mission, Michael took part in a bank robbery at the Bank of Liberty in Chinatown, Algonquin, along with Packie, Derrick and Niko; but one of the hostages named Eugene Reaper, shot and killed him with a concealed gun, much to the distress of Packie who, along with Derrick, avenged Michael's death by immediately killing Reaper.
After the three surviving members had escaped in a car, Packie admits that he feels bad about his behavior towards Michael, and wishes he had been nicer to him.
Packie says that he will give Michael's part of the heist, $250000, to Michael's parents.
In Grand Theft Auto V, if Packie McReary is chosen as the gunman for The Paleto Score, he will mention the bank robbery he committed during the events of GTA IV. He mentions Michael, telling the rest of the crew that he was killed during the robbery, and avenged his death by killing the hostage.
LCPD Database record
- GTA IV
- The Ballad of Gay Tony
- I Luv LC (Killed)
- Packie frequently accuses Michael of being inbred, mentioning "I'm surprised you don't have three eyes, no balls, and a club foot" and "Your parents must have been twins to produce a kid as dumb as you". It can be noted that whenever Packie insults him in this manner, he never denies it, instead telling him to leave his parents out of the argument. Thus, it is unknown whether there is any truth to Packie's claims. It is likely that the inbred jibes are simply used to insult his intelligence.
- It is possible that Keane is named after GTA IV 's character artist Michael Kane.
- He mistakes the Gambetti crime family for "Gambino", a real-life crime family, and the Pegorino crime family the "Pecorino" family, a type of cheese.
- In Three Leaf Clover, when the crew enters the bank and holds everyone hostage, Michael says "None of yous is gonna' get a medal for playing hero. All yous gonna' get is a bullet to the heart." Ironically, this is how Michael himself dies when Eugene Reaper kills him.