"A new protest group is pushing hard to have all forms of two-wheeled transport banned from out city streets. Following the successful banning of bicycles from Liberty City a few years ago, American Road Safety for Everybody (A.R.S.E.) has been pushing hard in recent weeks to get motorcycles banned from the city. They quote some chilling statistics to support their case, although some believe they may have made these up. An A.R.S.E. spokesman told the Liberty Tree, "Motorcycles cause more deaths per year than old age. They are the number one killer in our city and must be banned."
He continued, "If the city doesn't take action, then we the people are going to have to start. People on motorcycles are trying to kill all of us, so we at A.R.S.E. say it's time to fight back. All bikers will be treated as fair game going forward and every civic-minded citizen is encouraged to knock these killers off their motorcycles." A.R.S.E. was founded thanks to a generous donation from the Maibatsu Corporation of America. The car giant yesterday unveiled plans for its next generation of cars and trucks, including the Monstrosity, an SUV that promises, "It will revolutionize the suburbs" and is expected to hit the streets sometime in 2001.
"People on motorcycles are trying to kill all of us, so we at A.R.S.E. say it's time to fight back."
There were some technical issues at the demonstration as the prototype had to be filled using a gasoline tanker and was running partially on jet fuel. A minor fire broke out but only a couple of people were hurt, only one of which is likely to be permanently disfigured. A.R.S.E. continues its fight."