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Sanitary
DMVMain

The main page.

Sanandreasdmv.com is the official site of the San Andreas Department of Motor Vehicles. It features a test, however, most answers on the test involve humorous choice answers. Losing the test will immediately redirect the user to a page that taunts the player and tells them to use the LS Metro.

Questions

1.When is it permissible to run a red light?

  • A.Never. It's illegal.
  • B.When there are no police around.
  • C.When you're late for an audition or you woke up after a blackout.
  • D.When you are convinced that the minority in the other car is going to murder you for no apparent reason apart from the fact they are probably foreign.

2.The correct driving position is:

  • A.Seat in an upright position, with one hand gripping the steering wheel at 6 o'clock.
  • B.Slumped down below window level with the seat fully reclined, smoking a massive fatty, for medical purposes.
  • C.One hand down your pants, the other sexting, with the seat pushed forward so you can steer with your knees.
  • D.Tearing down the freeway at 100mph while applying make-up, drinking a 40oz Bean Machine Gunkaccino and updating your Lifeinvader status.

3.When getting serviced orally by a girl while driving, the correct course of action is:

  • A.Blast an 80's rock power ballad to get her in the mood.
  • B.Look for potholes to increase her pleasure.
  • C.Take camera phone pics.
  • D.Be sure to wrap your seatbelt around her head for safety.

4.How much gin and juice can you safely consume while operating a vehicle:

  • A.None. Even a small amount of alcohol can impair your driving abilities.
  • B.1-2 Drinks.
  • C.Who cares? You'll rarely get above 5mph in Los Santos anyway.
  • D.I'm in recovery. I'm an addict. I have a sobriety chip. I'm the annoying sober person.

5.What is an important safety tip when backing up:

  • A.Honk the horn a few times
  • B.Push back slowly and purr "You like that don't you?" Then pound hard.
  • C.Turn up the radio.
  • D.Start backing up and ask your passenger, "I'm cool, right?"

6.Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four way stop:

  • A.I do.
  • B.The car with the racist bumper stickers.
  • C.The person on your right.
  • D.Never stop at a sign. It makes you look like a tourist.

7.When stopping to pick up a prostitute:

  • A.Always leave the car running in case shit gets real.
  • B.Pick a station that is soft and romantic to set the vibe.
  • C.Put your wallet under the seat in case she tries to roll you.
  • D.All of the above.

8.You come over a hill and are the first person on scene of an accident. People are hurt. You should:

  • A.Save any hot college girls as they will be indebted to you sexually.
  • B.Search the area for loose change that discharged with the cars rolled.
  • C.Post some pics on Bleeter with hash tags #ThisDoodIsDying.
  • D.Leave the area quickly, let law enforcement sort it out. You don't need the hassle of other human beings' suffering.

9.You are driving outside the city on rural roads and your car breaks down:

  • A.You are fucked.
  • B.Tell anyone that stops that you are diseased.
  • C.Start running. Don't look back.
  • D.All of the above.

10.When stopped in traffic:

  • A.Use soda bottles to urinate in.
  • B.Weave in and out of traffic as much as possible.
  • C.Send out Bleets about how bad traffic is - You are really important.
  • D.Maintain calm. You will get there eventually. Then jump out and murder the person who just cut you off.

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