Mori: "Now listen to me, Luis. I got a wager for you."
Luis: "I ain't having no monster measuring contest with you, bro. I keep telling you I ain't into that creepy shit."
Mori Kibbutz about to tell Luis Lopez about his deal

This Ain't Checkers is a mission in the episodic content The Ballad of Gay Tony, given to the protagonist Luis Fernando Lopez by Mori Kibbutz.


Mori explains to Luis that they must go to the Algonquin heliport to get onboard a helicopter. The two drive to the heliport in Mori's Buffalo, while Mori says that this competition is for "high roller cats" only. Upon arrival, they are given parachutes and are lifted up above South Algonquin, receiving instructions on the fundamentals of the race.

Once the cutscene ends, the player must pull the ripcord on the parachute and commandeer a boat idling at the dock below, near Happiness Island. After reaching a boat, the player must guide the boat through a series of checkpoints until they reach land in Westdyke. The player must then choose one of four cars, each equipped with nitro that must be skillfully used to drive to the finish line in Middle Park. Once the finish line is reached, a cutscene will play, ending with Mori making up excuses for why he lost, going so far as to say someone sabotaged his car.

Mission objectives

In order to complete the mission, the player must:

  • Get in the car.
  • Go to the heliport.
  • Get in a boat.
  • Drive to shore.
  • Get in a car.
  • Drive to the finish line.

100% Objectives

Complete the mission in 7:30
Take 0% Damage
Land in one of the boats after freefalling.
Was always in first for the duration of the race.

Video Walkthrough

GTA The Ballad of Gay Tony - Mission 15 - This Ain't Checkers 100% (1080p)09:49

GTA The Ballad of Gay Tony - Mission 15 - This Ain't Checkers 100% (1080p)


  • When freefalling, make sure that you only release the parachute when you're in first place. Pulling the ripcord before being in first place will instantly deny the "Always First" scoring mark.
  • The Bullet GT waiting at the final portion of the race has a unique lime green colour. After finishing the mission, you can take it to your safehouse to keep.
  • If you take any other car than the red Buffalo, Mori will be seen driving that car because he owns it.
  • This mission is the second opportunity in the game to get Mori's uniquely red Buffalo without failing the mission. The first chance is on the mission Kibbutz Number One.
  • There is a glitch that will cause the final cutscene be completely skipped if you're reaching the goal with the nitro activated.