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'''WCTR News''' is a show on [[Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas]] radio station [[West Coast Talk Radio]]. The show is hosted by studio correspondant [[Lianne Forget]]. Another worker for the show is field correspondant [[Richard Burns]].
 +
{{Spoiler}}'''WCTR News''' is a show on ''[[Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas]]'' radio station [[West Coast Talk Radio]]. The show is hosted by studio correspondent [[Lianne Forget]]. Another worker for the show is field correspondent [[Richard Burns]].
   
  +
==Description==
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The show constantly reports the current events of [[State of San Andreas|San Andreas]]. The events it reports change as the story progresses and the player finishes more missions.
  
  +
The show constantly reports the current events of the game. The events it reports change as the story progresses and the player finishes more missions.
   
−
Some of the things reported by the station are the events that take palce during some of the missions that the game's protagonist, [[Carl Johnson]], performs, many of these events are either told from the perspective of the station, which fills in missing details with speculation or versions of the story which are deliverately altered to make the police look better. One example of this is that, after the mission "[[Toreno's Last Flight]]", the show attributes the dismantling of the [[Loco Syndicate]] to an undercover police officer instead of attribruting it to Carl.
 +
Some of the things reported by the station are the events that take place during some of the missions that the game's protagonist, [[Carl Johnson]], performs, many of these events are either told from the perspective of the station, which fills in missing details with speculation or versions of the story which are deliberately altered to make the police look better. One example of this is that, after the mission "[[Yay Ka-Boom-Boom]]", the show attributes the dismantling of the [[Loco Syndicate]] to an undercover police officer instead of attributing it to Carl.
   
−
Another common element of the show is "going to the field with Richard Bruns", the field correspondant, who reports events from the scene, but who constantly makes ridiculous comments or finds himself caught in the situation. An example is that, after mission "[[Are You Going to San Fierro?]]", when [[The Truth]]'s marijuana fields are burnt down, Richard Burns goes to the scene to report on how many of the animals nearby were affected by the marijuana smoke, only to get intoxicated by it himself and then proceed to get attacked by a high-on-weed moose.
 +
Another common element of the show is ''"going to the field with Richard Burns"'', the field correspondent, who reports events from the scene, but who constantly makes ridiculous comments or finds himself caught in the situation. An example is that, after mission "[[Are You Going to San Fierro?]]", when [[The Truth]]'s [[Weed|marijuana]] fields are burnt down, Richard Burns goes to the scene to report on how many of the animals nearby were affected by the marijuana smoke, only to get intoxicated by it himself and then proceed to get attacked by a moose high on weed.
   
−
Another one is after you take over rival gang territories, Richard and Leanne talk about gang violence in the streets of Ganton while Richard learns how to carjack someone and Forget mentions an undercover C.R.A.S.H member "Getting paid to get high."
 +
Another one is after you take over rival gang territories, Richard and Lianne talk about gang violence in the streets of Ganton while Richard learns how to carjack someone and Forget mentions an undercover C.R.A.S.H member ''"Getting paid to get high."''
   
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Also, sometimes the comment of local people is given on current situations, but the local people's comments find themselves either very distorted or shortened by the station. Such as when Lianne says that people in [[Bone County]] have reported to have seen strange, inexplicable lights over the desert sky, a man comments that "Yes, he sure did", without any further details of the occurrence.
 +
Also, sometimes the comment of local people is given on current situations, but the local people's comments find themselves either very distorted or shortened by the station. Such as when Lianne says that people in [[Bone County]] have reported to have seen strange, inexplicable lights over the desert sky, a man comments that ''"Yes, he sure did"'', without any further details of the occurrence.
   
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An additional WCTR News program is triggered after the game's final storyline mission, [[End of the Line]], is completed, reporting on the death of [[Frank Tenpenny]] and the return of [[Madd Dogg]]. At the end of this program, instead of usual negative ending phrases, [[Lianne Forget|Lianne]] says: "This is the end. And a new beginning."
 +
An additional WCTR News program is triggered after the game's final storyline mission, [[End of the Line]], is completed, reporting on the death of [[Frank Tenpenny]] and the return of [[Madd Dogg]]. At the end of this program, instead of usual negative ending phrases, [[Lianne Forget|Lianne]] says:'' "This is the end. And a new beginning."''
   
−
One early broadcast references a pop singer named [[Crow]], who is later heard on an [[Liberty City Free Radio|LCFR]] program called [[Breathing World]] in [[Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories]].
 +
One early broadcast references a pop singer named [[Crow]], who is later heard on an [[Liberty City Free Radio|LCFR]] program called [[Breathing World]] in ''[[Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories]]''.
  +
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[[Category: WCTR]]
  
  +
==Transcripts==
  +
===WCTR News #1===
  +
Available after [[In the Beginning]].
  +
  +
{{Scriptbox|color=SA|
  +
[[File:WCTRNews-GTASA-Episode1.ogg|thumb|center|noicon|WCTR News #1]]
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Announcer
  +
|dialogue=Next up on WCTR, the news. We try to make it interesting, and not depressing.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=[[Lianne Forget]]
  +
|dialogue=This is Lianne Forget, WCTR News. Foreigners are coming. Who are they, and why should we care? The FDA warns shampoo is killing your unborn child. Plus, protest continue outside the Zebra Bar Candy Company. Now, for traffic and transit with Richard Burns.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=[[Richard Burns]]
  +
|dialogue=That's right Lianne, I'm Richard Burns. The aftermath of the devastating earthquake continues. Travel is still severely restricted statewide. Officials say there are still no reported casualties, which is truly unfortunate, as it makes for incredibly boring news. The federal government is still refusing aid to help rebuild bridges, and everyone is blaming each other. The governor is threatening to bomb Australia, despite scientific proof it wasn't their fault. Richard Burns, WCTR!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=Police say gang trouble is on the rise again, especially in Los Santos. Sources believe it is linked to the rising drugs trade, while others blame the fascist pigs. Also in gang news, customs officials report a huge influx of Russian mobsters and cheap weapons since the fall of the wall. The governor's office said everything is OK. In Vinewood news, rapper Madd Dogg was celebrating the launch of his new clothing line. Richard caught up with him.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=[[Madd Dogg]]
  +
|dialogue=Thing about Madd Dogg is, I'm thinkin' about becoming a superstar. I mean, you know, I've done everything I can do in the rap game, I won shit hands down. Nobody can handle me, you know? Lifetime champ, no shit! Can I say shit?}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=Oh, hey man, it's cool.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Madd Dogg
  +
|dialogue=That's cool? OK, no shit! I got clothes, I got labels comin' out, you know what I'm sayin', I'm doin' drinks, I got shoes, tires, rims, thinkin', you know, next day just bein' a full on superstar, you know? You get to wear a tight suit, and nail a lot of tail, you dig? You know what I do in real life. Gotta get me a drink though, right now, 'cause I'm thirsty, you know.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=What a troubled man. Sounds like he should lay off the sauce. Also today, a Tourette's theater group, banned from the park. Unless they take up mine. And finally, in foreign news, a suspected US agent was caught in Panama selling weaponry to right-wing guerillas, causing a major incident, but we plan mostly to gloss over the implications and hope you enjoy some sporting activity tonight. The state department is advising against foreign travel. This was Lianne Forget, WCTR news. Let's be careful out there.}}
  +
}}
  +
  +
===WCTR News #2===
  +
Available after [[Drive-Thru]].
  +
  +
{{Scriptbox|color=SA|
  +
[[File:WCTRNews-GTASA-Episode2.ogg|thumb|center|noicon|WCTR News #2]]
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Announcer
  +
|dialogue=Prepare to be scared. The news is next.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=This is Lianne Forget, WCTR News. Pop sensation Crow threatens to stop singing. America celebrates. And - movies, are they true? Plus - children, was Freud right? Do they want us all dead? Now, a WCTR exclusive, with Richard Burns.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=That's right Lianne, I'm Richard Burns. Crime in Los Santos has sky-rocketed, with officials saying carjacking, murder, robbery, and gang activity is all on the rise. Police described it as, and I'm quoting here, 'Nothing to worry about.' I met up with a real-life carjacker earlier, who showed me the ropes.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Carjacker
  +
|dialogue=I call it the three 'g's. You just grab, get in, and go! Oh my God, you're in so much trouble! You shut up, bitch!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=Yeah, you be quiet bitch! This is a news story! Oh, cool! This is great, this is quality journalism. Uh, back to you, Lianne. Hey, let's get blunted and grab some Cluckin' Bell, I have got mad munchies.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Carjacker
  +
|dialogue=Sounds good to me, fire it up!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=Dude, you got any papers?}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=Youth counselors in Los Santos are heading to the streets and meeting one-on-one with members of the community. One citizen told WCTR the real problem with drugs.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=[[B Dup]]
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|dialogue=They always said there's too many drugs in the hood. Homie, that's bullshit. Plain bullshit. I mean, way I see it is, there ain't enough drugs in the hood. Ain't nothin' like enough. And that's the real problem with people.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=Police still have no leads in the tragic murder of Officer Ralph Pendelburry, whose body was found recently. Pendelburry worked for internal affairs, it was believed he was close to uncovering a huge corruption ring within the LSPD. A police spokesman denied the story. A San Fierro man is suing the Renaissance Fair for selling him replica weaponry, which he blames for a string of murders. Richard caught up with him.}}
  +
{{line
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|name=Man from [[San Fierro (3D Universe)|San Fierro]]
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|dialogue=I purchased a working catapult at the Renaissance Fair, and after a fight with my insurance salesman over my DWI, I began lobbing balls of fire at his house, and burnt down an entire neighborhood. It's inexcusable! The manufacturers will pay. Give me some money! Come on, give me some money! It's their fault! What kind of a person sells a catapult without putting a very clear warning on the side? I don't want to work very hard, so I've hired a lawyer. I'm gonna be rich!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=Seems fair enough to me! I'm Lianne Forget, that was the news. Be safe out there.}}
  +
}}
  +
  +
===WCTR News #3===
  +
Available after [[Management Issues]].
  +
  +
{{Scriptbox|[[File:WCTRNews-GTASA-Episode3.ogg|thumb|center|noicon|WCTR News #3]]
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Announcer
  +
|dialogue=Next up, we've got the news. This time, some of it's true! Who are we kidding?}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=I'm Lianne Forget, WCTR News. Here's everything that matters, in simple terms, so you can understand. A dire warning from America's gun manufacturers.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Gunman
  +
|dialogue=Arm yourself or die!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=And, the Louisiana Purchase. Beads for women. Plus - wallpaper, something big is happening in home furnishings, don't be left behind. Our top story. Alan Crawford - manager of the rapper Madd Dogg - murdered! Madd Dogg recently launched a clothing label and compared himself favorably to Jesus and Ghandi while sniffing a lot. The brutal murder remains unsolved. Police suspect foul play. Richard Burns is at the scene.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=Uh, no, actually Lianne, that story wasn't very interesting. So, I rode with San Fierro police detective Turk Martin, who is assigned to curtail illegal street racing activities in the countryside, surrounding Los Santos and San Fierro.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=[[Turk Martin]]
  +
|dialogue=You know what's really cool? You get to chase these slimeballs really fast. And then if you hit someone and wreck, it's never your fault!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=This is so cool! You get to eat while you work? Mm, let me see that. Hey, stop now, bitches! Or we'll shoot out your tires! (fires gun)}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Turk Martin
  +
|dialogue=Put that down!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=Ah, dude, don't be a dick! Let me shoot out his tires!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Turk Martin
  +
|dialogue=I'm doing like a hundred and ten miles an hour right now!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|background=Sound of the car crashing, followed by silence.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=OK... In foreign news, a heavily-discredited former-dictator in Latin America is claiming a U.S. government agency sold him weapons in exchange for drugs that our now being sold on the streets of our cities. Government officials strongly deny the claim."
  +
}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Government official
  +
|dialogue=Why would we do something so crazy? We don't need drugs! We have good hookups already! Besides, do you know how much cocaine is needed to buy a helicopter? It's more than I can snort!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=Lianne Forget, WCTR News. Stay worried out there.}}
  +
|color = SA
  +
}}
  +
  +
===WCTR News #4===
  +
Available after [[The Green Sabre]].
  +
  +
{{Scriptbox|[[File:WCTRNews-GTASA-Episode4.ogg|thumb|center|noicon|WCTR News #4]]
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Announcer
  +
|dialogue=Next up, it's sensationalist propaganda. I mean the news.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=I'm Lianne Forget, WCTR News. Here's what you should think matters. Breaking news! Strange lights spotted over the desert. Here's an eyewitness report.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Eyewitness
  +
|dialogue=I seen some strange lights over the desert. Yep, sure did!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=Currently, we have no more information. In other news, residents are upset at taxes funding the Los Santos Museum of Natural History.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Protester
  +
|dialogue=This fascination with the past is ridiculous. I mean, I've been to Pangea! It was disgusting! Our ancestors were idiots! My grandmother can barely talk she's so stupid!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=Also, organ theft! How to know if you're going to wake up in a bathtub of ice! More gang violence. We go to the streets of Los Santos with Richard Burns.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=That's right Lianne, I'm Richard Burns, and I am in a terrible part of town. A town under siege by hoodlums! Gang and drug wars are plaguing the city.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Man
  +
|dialogue=Hey, you want this bird or what?}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=Yeah, just put it in the van. A huge sudden upsurge in cocaine sales have been reported. The street wars between gangs of Ballas and Grove Street hoodlums came to a head recently when several senior Grove Street gang members were killed, while others were incarcerated. The police described that as, and I'm quoting, 'Excellent news.' Back to you, Lianne. Hey, has this been cut?}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Man
  +
|dialogue=Hell no, it's good shit!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=Bridges linking Red County and Flint County finally reopened recently after long delays following the earthquake. The governor congratulated himself extensively. In entertainment news: First it was the Bugees, then it was Love Fist. Now, the British invasion starts up again, this time from the Scottish village of Madchester. New band, the Gurning Chimps, are tipped for stardom. We caught up with the lead singer Maccer, when he landed in Los Santos Airport.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=[[Maccer]]
  +
|dialogue=The Gurning Chimps are coming to America, man. We're gonna take over. Mark my words and wipe my fucking arse. Lock up your doors, and get the drugs in. Madchester's in the area!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=Lianne Forget, WCTR News. Keep it locked on, it's getting worse out there.}}
  +
|color = SA
  +
}}
  +
  +
===WCTR News #5===
  +
Available after [[555 We Tip]].
  +
  +
{{Scriptbox|color=SA|
  +
[[File:WCTRNews-GTASA-Episode5.ogg|thumb|center|noicon|WCTR News #5]]
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Announcer
  +
|dialogue=Let's go find out what's really happening in the world. News.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=I'm Lianne Forget, WCTR News. We distort, you can't retort. Breaking news: is skateboarding turning your son gay? Also - San Fierro has been hit with one-tenth scale chaos, recently following a series of mini terrorist attacks. Tiny techno terrorists are suspected. More on that story as it comes in. A District Attorney is facing a long jail sentence after he was arrested outside the Vankoff Hotel trying to escape with well over a ton of marijuana. Police are currently investigating claims it was for personal use. Staying with pot, police are celebrating the destruction of a major hall of marijuana in Flint County recently, unfortunately the huge fire caused problems for local wildlife, much of which was found eating chocolate, listening to the same band over and over, and buying fractal artwork. Richard Burns is on the scene.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=Oh man, I am wicked baked. Hey man, in the movie, you got shot, but you look great, baby! Who's the guy with the antlers!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|background=A deer moans.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue= Oh, shit! No, dude, dude, I was just checking to see if she was in heat! No, it's cool dude, she's your doe! Dude! Be cool!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=Ahem... Alright. Inhabitants of Bone County reported further inexplicable lights over the desert.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Eyewitness
  +
|dialogue=Yeah, sure did!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=Government officials blame the water supply. And, more positive news came from street good-guy Big Smoke, who today unveiled his new orphanage in a ceremony in Los Santos.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=[[Big Smoke]]
  +
|dialogue=Yes! Thank you, thank you. I just like to say this a great day for the impoverished and disadvantaged of Los Santos. And it's a real honor that I am as generous as I am. I remember when I was a little boy my dear mother would ask me what I wanted to be when I grow up. And I said, 'Mom, I wanna be a savior.' It's a great opportunity. The Big Smoke orphanage teaches kids important skills. I was an orphan; I struggled! I saw friends make mistakes and get pulled from the path of righteousness, but now, thanks to the generosity of a great man like me, kids is gonna be saved. Big Smoke, baby! Remember the name!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=In crime news, Asian gang trouble in San Fierro is on the rise, with problems developing between Chinese Triad gangs, and Vietnamese gangs. A government official released this statement.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Government official
  +
|dialogue=Hey, if they wanna kill each other, let them! It's great, it means your taxes go down!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=I'm Lianne Forget, WCTR News. Stay indoors.}}
  +
}}
  +
  +
===WCTR News #6===
  +
Available after [[Yay Ka-Boom-Boom]].
  +
  +
{{Scriptbox|color=SA|
  +
[[File:WCTRNews-GTASA-Episode6.ogg|thumb|center|noicon|WCTR News #6]]
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Announcer
  +
|dialogue=Is the world ending? We hope so, we need the ratings. The news is next.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=Lianne Forget, WCTR News. News with the bottom line in mind. Top news stories: Was Moses really from Ohio? Chairs-the silent killer in your home! Now, WCTR traffic and transit. After months, all bridges have been reopened, Bone County, Tierra Robada, and Las Venturas County are now linked up with the rest of the state. Locals celebrated by mass outbreaks of xenophobia and inbreeding. Also, police are celebrating the removal of a major crack-cocaine ring by undercover police that has virtually stopped the flow of drugs into Los Santos. Richard spoke to a man on the scene.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=That's right Lianne, it's another victory for prohibition. Police are really celebrating after this one. One officer told me of his amazing true-life story of how he infiltrated a drug ring, and how cool it was to get paid to get high.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Police officer
  +
|dialogue=Yeah, I was undercover smoking crack every day. You know, just to be one of them. I even took my wife undercover and made her a crack whore! Say hello to the news man, bitch!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Police officer's wife
  +
|dialogue=Hey, don't I know you? The Rusty Trombone, right?}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=I doubt it, tramp. You're crazy. Back to you, Lianne.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=Police are struggling to solve the mystery of a container ship found deserted and full of bodies. The FBI is investigating. And government officials denied the existence of an area of Bone County that isn't on the map. Someone, who was unprepared to be named, said, 'The so-called placed that isn't called anything doesn't exist. And if it did, we'd name it something.' And-where is Madd Dogg, wonder record execs? The rapper has battled alcoholism and egomania for many years and recently missed a concert in Las Venturas. Staying in Venturas: it used to be a patch of desert, then it was a mob town. Now, it is the corporate headquarters of America. Richard explains from the streets.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=That's right, Lianne. It used to be a patch of desert, then it was a mob town. Now, it is the corporate headquarters of America. Back to you in the studio.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=In foreign news, we have war, famine, pestilence, and a lot of envy aimed at our way of life. Stay at home, it's better that way. I'm Lianne Forget, WCTR News. Stay alert; they're after us.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Big Smoke
  +
|dialogue=This is well-known philanthropist, Big Smoke, and you're listening to WCTR. Make a difference to your community. Keep our cities drug free. Look, I'm doin' my bit, how are you helping?}}
  +
}}
  +
  +
===WCTR News #7===
  +
Available after [[Fish in a Barrel]].
  +
  +
{{Scriptbox|color=SA|
  +
[[File:WCTRNews-GTASA-Episode7.ogg|thumb|center|noicon|WCTR News #7]]
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Announcer
  +
|dialogue=Let's head over to the news room.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=Lianne Forget, WCTR news, reporting what the morning memo tells us to. Pornography in preschool - a sickening shortage! And-shiny compact discs turning your children into killers! Plus - the Epsilon tract, a psychotic power - hungry cult running the government and Vinewood. Or, an idea whose time has come! The WCTR team spoke to one member.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=[[Epsilon Program (3D Universe)|Epsilon Program]] member
  +
|dialogue=Whenever I'm in trouble, I talk to my invisible friends. When I was a kid, my mother always told me to be good, or invisible people would kill me. I'm passing that terrifying living along to my children. Like a virus!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=Also-police are investigating the murder of Liberty City crime family, the Sindaccos, whose bodies were found in a meat factory in Las Venturas. Could this be the start of a Mafia war? Or was it a sick game gone hideously wrong? Either way, America's beef producers say it will all blow over. Los Santos police officers Frank Tenpenny and Eddie Pulaski are being sought by government officials in order to stand trial for the murder of Officer Ralph Pendelburry. The pair, whom prosecutors claim have masterminded a huge criminal organization, have disappeared. LSPD spokespeople said they were undercover. Las Venturas was recently celebrating the opening of the Four Dragons Casino, a huge new pleasure-palace with a Chinese feel, setting a new level of optimistic debauchery for the country. Richard reports from Venturas where the Four Dragons hosted the Child Actor Convention.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=Who do you have to fuck to get a free drink in this place? How do you stay fourteen when the dealer is showing twelve, you moron? Yeah, hit me.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=Richard!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=Lianne! As you know, actors are a shallow and insecure lot, often uncomfortable with their sexuality. But what's worse are child actors - especially when they get together. Jimmy from the canceled sitcom, 'Just the Five of Us,' was dragged out by police earlier today.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Jimmy
  +
|dialogue=This is bullshit! Hey, don't arrest my bitches! I am a star! It's just flour, I swear!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=Jimmy, Jimmy! I'm Richard Burns, WCTR News! What do you think of 'My Five Uncles,' the show that replaced yours?}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Jimmy
  +
|dialogue=What do you think, dumbass? That show sucks my ass.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=And why do you still look like a kid?}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Jimmy
  +
|dialogue=I'm fifty-one years old! I just look like a kid! I'm gonna cock-punch you! Uh!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=<nowiki>*high-pitched voice*</nowiki> Ahh!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Jimmy
  +
|dialogue=How do you like that, you liberal-media bastard?}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=Richard Burns... WCTR News... Back to you, Lianne.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=I'm Lianne Forget, WCTR News. I wouldn't sleep if I were you.}}
  +
}}
  +
  +
===WCTR News #8===
  +
Available after [[Breaking the Bank at Caligula's]]; it can happen during or after the storyline.
  +
  +
{{Scriptbox|color=SA|
  +
[[File:WCTRNews-GTASA-Episode8.ogg|thumb|center|noicon|WCTR News #8]]
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Announcer
  +
|dialogue=Turn over in case you learn something. The news is next.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=Lianne Forget, WCTR News. Unfair and skewed for you. In the top stories, everyone is trying to kill you, but at least you're not in prison yet. Disgraced movie star Jack Howitzer broke his silence recently following his on-air murder of radio host Billy Dexter. Facing trial and a possible death sentence, Howitzer spoke to Richard. WCTR would like to be clear; we did pay for this interview.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=That's right Lianne, I am Richard Burns, here, in Los Santos prison. As we all know, since politicians stopped musicians from coming here about shooting your woman on drugs, everyone is now questioning their sexuality. Jack Howitzer, you're facing a death sentence. How do you feel about that?}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=[[Jack Howitzer]]
  +
|dialogue=I broke out of a POW camp in Korea, alright? So I'll be out of here soon.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=Correct me if I'm wrong, that was a movie, and it wasn't real.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Jack Howitzer
  +
|dialogue=Oh no, it was real, I'm a veteran, of over forty films. But I've got a different Ho Chi now, say hello to the news man, Ho Chi.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=[[Ho Chi]]
  +
|dialogue=Um...hello.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Jack Howitzer
  +
|dialogue=You want me to kill you like the last Ho Chi? Say it like an Asian girl!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Ho Chi
  +
|dialogue=Uh, hewwo, hi.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=Wow Jack Howitzer, that is a fine prison bitch. Where can I get one of those? Ha ha! Richard Burns, WCTR News!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=The trial of allegedly disgraced police officers Frank Tenpenny and Eddie Pulaski began yesterday. Although Mr. Pulaski was not at court personally, prosecutors maintain both are guilty of murder, racketeering, drug-running, and sexual offenses. Defense maintain officers were just doing their job. Government officials are denying any knowledge of black helicopters that were recently seen flying over the state.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Government official
  +
|dialogue=Black helicopters? Huh. What black helicopters?}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=That clears it up. A Las Venturas institution Caligula's forced to admit that it was recently robbed. It's the first major heist carried out on a Venturas Casino in thirty years. Government officials are not ruling out foul play. Meanwhile, no explanation has been forthcoming as to why the Sherman Dam stopped generating electricity for a few hours recently. One bystander blamed aliens, who drink electricity before deflowering virgins. I'm Lianne Forget, WCTR News. It's going to get worse. Trust me.}}
  +
}}
  +
===WCTR News #9===
  +
Available after [[Vertical Bird]].
  +
  +
{{Scriptbox|color=SA|
  +
[[File:WCTRNews-GTASA-Episode9.ogg|thumb|center|noicon|WCTR News #9]]
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Announcer
  +
|dialogue=Next up, the reason you're afraid. The news!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=Lianne Forget, WCTR News. Reporting what makes the administration happy. Today's top stories-do trees cause baldness? Is noise the new silent enemy of your family? And a special report on France-one nation's obsession with stand-up toilets. *splat* Breaking WCTR news! Navy officials are denying that a Hydra plane was stolen from a marine amphibious assault ship recently, despite eyewitness reports to the contrary. Tax payers on the scene are not happy.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Tax payer
  +
|dialogue=I pay my taxes, that jet is supposed to be bombing schools!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=The FBI is investigating possible links between the massacre of Forelli family members and the slaying of the Sindacco family. Unconfirmed reports suggest a similar style of execution was used in both hits. An official commented, 'It could be a worm hole in space.' I'm Lianne Forget, WCTR News. Don't turn it off. Trust me.}}
  +
}}
  +
  +
===WCTR News #10===
  +
Available after [[Riot (GTA San Andreas)|Riot]].
  +
  +
{{Scriptbox|color=SA|
  +
[[File:WCTRNews-GTASA-Episode10.ogg|thumb|center|noicon|WCTR News #10]]
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=Breaking WCTR News! We go to Richard in Los Santos!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=<nowiki>*burps*</nowiki> Dude... I am shit-faced! Lianne? Los Santos is in flames! This riot is spectacular, man! I mean... I can't even describe... store fronts are being smashed everywhere! There is some great... stuff to be had. There is free beer for everybody, dude, I've been loading up! This is capitalism as it was meant to be, baby! Hey! Hey! Get away from my newsvan! *gunshot* Yeah, that's right, I'm packin', ha ha, I'm Richard Burns, bitch! *more gunshots* Uh, police advise a state of martial law has been declared, you should stay in your homes, senators are burning the constitution, blah blah blippity bloopity blabbity blabbity blah, I'm Richard Burns, WCTR News! Jimmy! Jimmy! Get me some more beer out of the back of the van and clear out some space.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Jimmy
  +
|dialogue=What?}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=We're gonna get ourselves a big screen.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=We'll keep you posted. Now back to regular programming.}}
  +
}}
  +
  +
===WCTR News #11===
  +
Available after [[End of the Line]].
  +
  +
{{Scriptbox|color=SA|
  +
[[File:WCTRNews-GTASA-Episode11.ogg|thumb|center|noicon|WCTR News #11]]
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Announcer
  +
|dialogue=Wanna be too scared to go outside? The news is next.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=Lianne Forget, WCTR state controlled news. Pravda! Breaking news: Skateboarding making your son impotent and how to find out. Today's top stories: why hatred is good for you! Foreigners: worse than we thought! And our top story concerns the death of recently-cleared police officer Frank Tenpenny. His body was found in the aftermath of the recent riot set off by his acquittal. Coroners took several days to identify the body which had been mutilated and stripped by the homeless. More on the riot of the century! How do we keep it from happening again? Richard is on the streets with rescue workers.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=Uh, Lianne, I don't know if you've ever covered a riot...*burps* but the scene here is amazing! Rescue workers are opening up a car with the jaws of life right here! It is so cool!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Woman
  +
|dialogue=I'm on fire, help me out of here!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=Hey! Shut up, bitch! I'm interviewing! You're ruining my report, shut up! Hey, hey, rescue guy, come here, come here. Richard Burns, WCTR News. How's it goin'?}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Rescue worker
  +
|dialogue=You dumbass, I'm trying to save this woman! Get out of here!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue= Oh, I'm trying to save this woman, step back. Yeah, well, see if I give you any beers from my news truck, you overpaid prick! Lianne, this town is going to need some healing. Back to you. *burps* Hey, why don't you use the jaws of life on your fat wife, dude? Ha ha ha...did you hear me rank him, that was rad!}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=I'm so glad you're OK, Richard.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Richard Burns
  +
|dialogue=Hey baby, are we off the air? I looted some great stuff for our apartment! A fat bearskin rug, a new blender, a double ender, a-}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=Ahem...currently we have no more information. And in entertainment news, the comeback of the year! Disgraced drunkard Madd Dogg, who was recently saved from jumping to his death by a mystery assistant, is on top of the charts with a new album and a sell-out tour plan.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Madd Dogg
  +
|dialogue=Yes, people! The wait is over! Madd Dogg is back, on the top where I belong, baby! Number one! Now I wanna set the records straight at this point. I've been hearing all kinds of shit like I was drunk and I was on some drugs, and I had a breakdown and some shit, I was never in a hotel in Las Venturas. That's bullshit. They just hatin' on a playa, man, they've been hatin' on me since I was in baby shoes. I was in the studio, yeah! Took a little time off. I watched y'all rappers get out there and try to do your thing, but now I'm ready to drop this dog shit on yo' whack-ass rappers. I got a new manager, his name is Carl Johnson, and we gonna take this rap game to a new level by storm, for the second time! Yeah bitches, sign up right now to get in my ho roster. It's gon' be big. Yeah, get-take a number ho, take a number.}}
  +
{{line
  +
|name=Lianne Forget
  +
|dialogue=I'm Lianne Forget, WCTR News. This is the end, and a new beginning.}}
  +
}}
  +
  +
==Trivia==
  +
* GTA's British origins are in evidence to those who listen carefully to some of the news reports; despite the game being set in the US, dialogue occasionally includes British-isms, such as using the plural "drugs" at all times, i.e. "A drugs dealer" rather than "A drug dealer", singular, which is the norm in American broadcasting.
  +
  +
[[pl:WCTR News]]
  +
[[de:WCTR News]]
  +
[[hu:WCTR News]]
  +
[[Category:Media in GTA San Andreas]]
 
[[Category:Radio Shows]]
  
[[Category:Radio Shows]]

Latest revision as of 15:22, 9 April 2024

Site-logo
Spoiler Warning: Plot details, ending details, or both are in the text which follows.
Spoiler Warning: Plot details, ending details, or both are in the text which follows.
Warning
Warning

WCTR News is a show on Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas radio station West Coast Talk Radio. The show is hosted by studio correspondent Lianne Forget. Another worker for the show is field correspondent Richard Burns.

Description

The show constantly reports the current events of the game. The events it reports change as the story progresses and the player finishes more missions.

Some of the things reported by the station are the events that take place during some of the missions that the game's protagonist, Carl Johnson, performs, many of these events are either told from the perspective of the station, which fills in missing details with speculation or versions of the story which are deliberately altered to make the police look better. One example of this is that, after the mission "Yay Ka-Boom-Boom", the show attributes the dismantling of the Loco Syndicate to an undercover police officer instead of attributing it to Carl.

Another common element of the show is "going to the field with Richard Burns", the field correspondent, who reports events from the scene, but who constantly makes ridiculous comments or finds himself caught in the situation. An example is that, after mission "Are You Going to San Fierro?", when The Truth's marijuana fields are burnt down, Richard Burns goes to the scene to report on how many of the animals nearby were affected by the marijuana smoke, only to get intoxicated by it himself and then proceed to get attacked by a moose high on weed.

Another one is after you take over rival gang territories, Richard and Lianne talk about gang violence in the streets of Ganton while Richard learns how to carjack someone and Forget mentions an undercover C.R.A.S.H member "Getting paid to get high."

Also, sometimes the comment of local people is given on current situations, but the local people's comments find themselves either very distorted or shortened by the station. Such as when Lianne says that people in Bone County have reported to have seen strange, inexplicable lights over the desert sky, a man comments that "Yes, he sure did", without any further details of the occurrence.

An additional WCTR News program is triggered after the game's final storyline mission, End of the Line, is completed, reporting on the death of Frank Tenpenny and the return of Madd Dogg. At the end of this program, instead of usual negative ending phrases, Lianne says: "This is the end. And a new beginning."

One early broadcast references a pop singer named Crow, who is later heard on an LCFR program called Breathing World in Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories.

Transcripts

WCTR News #1

Available after In the Beginning.

Transcript

WCTR News #1

Announcer: Next up on WCTR, the news. We try to make it interesting, and not depressing.
Lianne Forget: This is Lianne Forget, WCTR News. Foreigners are coming. Who are they, and why should we care? The FDA warns shampoo is killing your unborn child. Plus, protest continue outside the Zebra Bar Candy Company. Now, for traffic and transit with Richard Burns.
Richard Burns: That's right Lianne, I'm Richard Burns. The aftermath of the devastating earthquake continues. Travel is still severely restricted statewide. Officials say there are still no reported casualties, which is truly unfortunate, as it makes for incredibly boring news. The federal government is still refusing aid to help rebuild bridges, and everyone is blaming each other. The governor is threatening to bomb Australia, despite scientific proof it wasn't their fault. Richard Burns, WCTR!
Lianne Forget: Police say gang trouble is on the rise again, especially in Los Santos. Sources believe it is linked to the rising drugs trade, while others blame the fascist pigs. Also in gang news, customs officials report a huge influx of Russian mobsters and cheap weapons since the fall of the wall. The governor's office said everything is OK. In Vinewood news, rapper Madd Dogg was celebrating the launch of his new clothing line. Richard caught up with him.
Madd Dogg: Thing about Madd Dogg is, I'm thinkin' about becoming a superstar. I mean, you know, I've done everything I can do in the rap game, I won shit hands down. Nobody can handle me, you know? Lifetime champ, no shit! Can I say shit?
Richard Burns: Oh, hey man, it's cool.
Madd Dogg: That's cool? OK, no shit! I got clothes, I got labels comin' out, you know what I'm sayin', I'm doin' drinks, I got shoes, tires, rims, thinkin', you know, next day just bein' a full on superstar, you know? You get to wear a tight suit, and nail a lot of tail, you dig? You know what I do in real life. Gotta get me a drink though, right now, 'cause I'm thirsty, you know.
Lianne Forget: What a troubled man. Sounds like he should lay off the sauce. Also today, a Tourette's theater group, banned from the park. Unless they take up mine. And finally, in foreign news, a suspected US agent was caught in Panama selling weaponry to right-wing guerillas, causing a major incident, but we plan mostly to gloss over the implications and hope you enjoy some sporting activity tonight. The state department is advising against foreign travel. This was Lianne Forget, WCTR news. Let's be careful out there.

WCTR News #2

Available after Drive-Thru.

Transcript

WCTR News #2

Announcer: Prepare to be scared. The news is next.
Lianne Forget: This is Lianne Forget, WCTR News. Pop sensation Crow threatens to stop singing. America celebrates. And - movies, are they true? Plus - children, was Freud right? Do they want us all dead? Now, a WCTR exclusive, with Richard Burns.
Richard Burns: That's right Lianne, I'm Richard Burns. Crime in Los Santos has sky-rocketed, with officials saying carjacking, murder, robbery, and gang activity is all on the rise. Police described it as, and I'm quoting here, 'Nothing to worry about.' I met up with a real-life carjacker earlier, who showed me the ropes.
Carjacker: I call it the three 'g's. You just grab, get in, and go! Oh my God, you're in so much trouble! You shut up, bitch!
Richard Burns: Yeah, you be quiet bitch! This is a news story! Oh, cool! This is great, this is quality journalism. Uh, back to you, Lianne. Hey, let's get blunted and grab some Cluckin' Bell, I have got mad munchies.
Carjacker: Sounds good to me, fire it up!
Richard Burns: Dude, you got any papers?
Lianne Forget: Youth counselors in Los Santos are heading to the streets and meeting one-on-one with members of the community. One citizen told WCTR the real problem with drugs.
B Dup: They always said there's too many drugs in the hood. Homie, that's bullshit. Plain bullshit. I mean, way I see it is, there ain't enough drugs in the hood. Ain't nothin' like enough. And that's the real problem with people.
Lianne Forget: Police still have no leads in the tragic murder of Officer Ralph Pendelburry, whose body was found recently. Pendelburry worked for internal affairs, it was believed he was close to uncovering a huge corruption ring within the LSPD. A police spokesman denied the story. A San Fierro man is suing the Renaissance Fair for selling him replica weaponry, which he blames for a string of murders. Richard caught up with him.
Man from San Fierro: I purchased a working catapult at the Renaissance Fair, and after a fight with my insurance salesman over my DWI, I began lobbing balls of fire at his house, and burnt down an entire neighborhood. It's inexcusable! The manufacturers will pay. Give me some money! Come on, give me some money! It's their fault! What kind of a person sells a catapult without putting a very clear warning on the side? I don't want to work very hard, so I've hired a lawyer. I'm gonna be rich!
Lianne Forget: Seems fair enough to me! I'm Lianne Forget, that was the news. Be safe out there.

WCTR News #3

Available after Management Issues.

Transcript

WCTR News #3

Announcer: Next up, we've got the news. This time, some of it's true! Who are we kidding?
Lianne Forget: I'm Lianne Forget, WCTR News. Here's everything that matters, in simple terms, so you can understand. A dire warning from America's gun manufacturers.
Gunman: Arm yourself or die!
Lianne Forget: And, the Louisiana Purchase. Beads for women. Plus - wallpaper, something big is happening in home furnishings, don't be left behind. Our top story. Alan Crawford - manager of the rapper Madd Dogg - murdered! Madd Dogg recently launched a clothing label and compared himself favorably to Jesus and Ghandi while sniffing a lot. The brutal murder remains unsolved. Police suspect foul play. Richard Burns is at the scene.
Richard Burns: Uh, no, actually Lianne, that story wasn't very interesting. So, I rode with San Fierro police detective Turk Martin, who is assigned to curtail illegal street racing activities in the countryside, surrounding Los Santos and San Fierro.
Turk Martin: You know what's really cool? You get to chase these slimeballs really fast. And then if you hit someone and wreck, it's never your fault!
Richard Burns: This is so cool! You get to eat while you work? Mm, let me see that. Hey, stop now, bitches! Or we'll shoot out your tires! (fires gun)
Turk Martin: Put that down!
Richard Burns: Ah, dude, don't be a dick! Let me shoot out his tires!
Turk Martin: I'm doing like a hundred and ten miles an hour right now!
Sound of the car crashing, followed by silence.
Lianne Forget: OK... In foreign news, a heavily-discredited former-dictator in Latin America is claiming a U.S. government agency sold him weapons in exchange for drugs that our now being sold on the streets of our cities. Government officials strongly deny the claim."
Government official: Why would we do something so crazy? We don't need drugs! We have good hookups already! Besides, do you know how much cocaine is needed to buy a helicopter? It's more than I can snort!
Lianne Forget: Lianne Forget, WCTR News. Stay worried out there.

WCTR News #4

Available after The Green Sabre.

Transcript

WCTR News #4

Announcer: Next up, it's sensationalist propaganda. I mean the news.
Lianne Forget: I'm Lianne Forget, WCTR News. Here's what you should think matters. Breaking news! Strange lights spotted over the desert. Here's an eyewitness report.
Eyewitness: I seen some strange lights over the desert. Yep, sure did!
Lianne Forget: Currently, we have no more information. In other news, residents are upset at taxes funding the Los Santos Museum of Natural History.
Protester: This fascination with the past is ridiculous. I mean, I've been to Pangea! It was disgusting! Our ancestors were idiots! My grandmother can barely talk she's so stupid!
Lianne Forget: Also, organ theft! How to know if you're going to wake up in a bathtub of ice! More gang violence. We go to the streets of Los Santos with Richard Burns.
Richard Burns: That's right Lianne, I'm Richard Burns, and I am in a terrible part of town. A town under siege by hoodlums! Gang and drug wars are plaguing the city.
Man: Hey, you want this bird or what?
Richard Burns: Yeah, just put it in the van. A huge sudden upsurge in cocaine sales have been reported. The street wars between gangs of Ballas and Grove Street hoodlums came to a head recently when several senior Grove Street gang members were killed, while others were incarcerated. The police described that as, and I'm quoting, 'Excellent news.' Back to you, Lianne. Hey, has this been cut?
Man: Hell no, it's good shit!
Lianne Forget: Bridges linking Red County and Flint County finally reopened recently after long delays following the earthquake. The governor congratulated himself extensively. In entertainment news: First it was the Bugees, then it was Love Fist. Now, the British invasion starts up again, this time from the Scottish village of Madchester. New band, the Gurning Chimps, are tipped for stardom. We caught up with the lead singer Maccer, when he landed in Los Santos Airport.
Maccer: The Gurning Chimps are coming to America, man. We're gonna take over. Mark my words and wipe my fucking arse. Lock up your doors, and get the drugs in. Madchester's in the area!
Lianne Forget: Lianne Forget, WCTR News. Keep it locked on, it's getting worse out there.

WCTR News #5

Available after 555 We Tip.

Transcript

WCTR News #5

Announcer: Let's go find out what's really happening in the world. News.
Lianne Forget: I'm Lianne Forget, WCTR News. We distort, you can't retort. Breaking news: is skateboarding turning your son gay? Also - San Fierro has been hit with one-tenth scale chaos, recently following a series of mini terrorist attacks. Tiny techno terrorists are suspected. More on that story as it comes in. A District Attorney is facing a long jail sentence after he was arrested outside the Vankoff Hotel trying to escape with well over a ton of marijuana. Police are currently investigating claims it was for personal use. Staying with pot, police are celebrating the destruction of a major hall of marijuana in Flint County recently, unfortunately the huge fire caused problems for local wildlife, much of which was found eating chocolate, listening to the same band over and over, and buying fractal artwork. Richard Burns is on the scene.
Richard Burns: Oh man, I am wicked baked. Hey man, in the movie, you got shot, but you look great, baby! Who's the guy with the antlers!
A deer moans.
Richard Burns: Oh, shit! No, dude, dude, I was just checking to see if she was in heat! No, it's cool dude, she's your doe! Dude! Be cool!
Lianne Forget: Ahem... Alright. Inhabitants of Bone County reported further inexplicable lights over the desert.
Eyewitness: Yeah, sure did!
Lianne Forget: Government officials blame the water supply. And, more positive news came from street good-guy Big Smoke, who today unveiled his new orphanage in a ceremony in Los Santos.
Big Smoke: Yes! Thank you, thank you. I just like to say this a great day for the impoverished and disadvantaged of Los Santos. And it's a real honor that I am as generous as I am. I remember when I was a little boy my dear mother would ask me what I wanted to be when I grow up. And I said, 'Mom, I wanna be a savior.' It's a great opportunity. The Big Smoke orphanage teaches kids important skills. I was an orphan; I struggled! I saw friends make mistakes and get pulled from the path of righteousness, but now, thanks to the generosity of a great man like me, kids is gonna be saved. Big Smoke, baby! Remember the name!
Lianne Forget: In crime news, Asian gang trouble in San Fierro is on the rise, with problems developing between Chinese Triad gangs, and Vietnamese gangs. A government official released this statement.
Government official: Hey, if they wanna kill each other, let them! It's great, it means your taxes go down!
Lianne Forget: I'm Lianne Forget, WCTR News. Stay indoors.

WCTR News #6

Available after Yay Ka-Boom-Boom.

Transcript

WCTR News #6

Announcer: Is the world ending? We hope so, we need the ratings. The news is next.
Lianne Forget: Lianne Forget, WCTR News. News with the bottom line in mind. Top news stories: Was Moses really from Ohio? Chairs-the silent killer in your home! Now, WCTR traffic and transit. After months, all bridges have been reopened, Bone County, Tierra Robada, and Las Venturas County are now linked up with the rest of the state. Locals celebrated by mass outbreaks of xenophobia and inbreeding. Also, police are celebrating the removal of a major crack-cocaine ring by undercover police that has virtually stopped the flow of drugs into Los Santos. Richard spoke to a man on the scene.
Richard Burns: That's right Lianne, it's another victory for prohibition. Police are really celebrating after this one. One officer told me of his amazing true-life story of how he infiltrated a drug ring, and how cool it was to get paid to get high.
Police officer: Yeah, I was undercover smoking crack every day. You know, just to be one of them. I even took my wife undercover and made her a crack whore! Say hello to the news man, bitch!
Police officer's wife: Hey, don't I know you? The Rusty Trombone, right?
Richard Burns: I doubt it, tramp. You're crazy. Back to you, Lianne.
Lianne Forget: Police are struggling to solve the mystery of a container ship found deserted and full of bodies. The FBI is investigating. And government officials denied the existence of an area of Bone County that isn't on the map. Someone, who was unprepared to be named, said, 'The so-called placed that isn't called anything doesn't exist. And if it did, we'd name it something.' And-where is Madd Dogg, wonder record execs? The rapper has battled alcoholism and egomania for many years and recently missed a concert in Las Venturas. Staying in Venturas: it used to be a patch of desert, then it was a mob town. Now, it is the corporate headquarters of America. Richard explains from the streets.
Richard Burns: That's right, Lianne. It used to be a patch of desert, then it was a mob town. Now, it is the corporate headquarters of America. Back to you in the studio.
Lianne Forget: In foreign news, we have war, famine, pestilence, and a lot of envy aimed at our way of life. Stay at home, it's better that way. I'm Lianne Forget, WCTR News. Stay alert; they're after us.
Big Smoke: This is well-known philanthropist, Big Smoke, and you're listening to WCTR. Make a difference to your community. Keep our cities drug free. Look, I'm doin' my bit, how are you helping?

WCTR News #7

Available after Fish in a Barrel.

Transcript

WCTR News #7

Announcer: Let's head over to the news room.
Lianne Forget: Lianne Forget, WCTR news, reporting what the morning memo tells us to. Pornography in preschool - a sickening shortage! And-shiny compact discs turning your children into killers! Plus - the Epsilon tract, a psychotic power - hungry cult running the government and Vinewood. Or, an idea whose time has come! The WCTR team spoke to one member.
Epsilon Program member: Whenever I'm in trouble, I talk to my invisible friends. When I was a kid, my mother always told me to be good, or invisible people would kill me. I'm passing that terrifying living along to my children. Like a virus!
Lianne Forget: Also-police are investigating the murder of Liberty City crime family, the Sindaccos, whose bodies were found in a meat factory in Las Venturas. Could this be the start of a Mafia war? Or was it a sick game gone hideously wrong? Either way, America's beef producers say it will all blow over. Los Santos police officers Frank Tenpenny and Eddie Pulaski are being sought by government officials in order to stand trial for the murder of Officer Ralph Pendelburry. The pair, whom prosecutors claim have masterminded a huge criminal organization, have disappeared. LSPD spokespeople said they were undercover. Las Venturas was recently celebrating the opening of the Four Dragons Casino, a huge new pleasure-palace with a Chinese feel, setting a new level of optimistic debauchery for the country. Richard reports from Venturas where the Four Dragons hosted the Child Actor Convention.
Richard Burns: Who do you have to fuck to get a free drink in this place? How do you stay fourteen when the dealer is showing twelve, you moron? Yeah, hit me.
Lianne Forget: Richard!
Richard Burns: Lianne! As you know, actors are a shallow and insecure lot, often uncomfortable with their sexuality. But what's worse are child actors - especially when they get together. Jimmy from the canceled sitcom, 'Just the Five of Us,' was dragged out by police earlier today.
Jimmy: This is bullshit! Hey, don't arrest my bitches! I am a star! It's just flour, I swear!
Richard Burns: Jimmy, Jimmy! I'm Richard Burns, WCTR News! What do you think of 'My Five Uncles,' the show that replaced yours?
Jimmy: What do you think, dumbass? That show sucks my ass.
Richard Burns: And why do you still look like a kid?
Jimmy: I'm fifty-one years old! I just look like a kid! I'm gonna cock-punch you! Uh!
Richard Burns: *high-pitched voice* Ahh!
Jimmy: How do you like that, you liberal-media bastard?
Richard Burns: Richard Burns... WCTR News... Back to you, Lianne.
Lianne Forget: I'm Lianne Forget, WCTR News. I wouldn't sleep if I were you.

WCTR News #8

Available after Breaking the Bank at Caligula's; it can happen during or after the storyline.

Transcript

WCTR News #8

Announcer: Turn over in case you learn something. The news is next.
Lianne Forget: Lianne Forget, WCTR News. Unfair and skewed for you. In the top stories, everyone is trying to kill you, but at least you're not in prison yet. Disgraced movie star Jack Howitzer broke his silence recently following his on-air murder of radio host Billy Dexter. Facing trial and a possible death sentence, Howitzer spoke to Richard. WCTR would like to be clear; we did pay for this interview.
Richard Burns: That's right Lianne, I am Richard Burns, here, in Los Santos prison. As we all know, since politicians stopped musicians from coming here about shooting your woman on drugs, everyone is now questioning their sexuality. Jack Howitzer, you're facing a death sentence. How do you feel about that?
Jack Howitzer: I broke out of a POW camp in Korea, alright? So I'll be out of here soon.
Richard Burns: Correct me if I'm wrong, that was a movie, and it wasn't real.
Jack Howitzer: Oh no, it was real, I'm a veteran, of over forty films. But I've got a different Ho Chi now, say hello to the news man, Ho Chi.
Ho Chi: Um...hello.
Jack Howitzer: You want me to kill you like the last Ho Chi? Say it like an Asian girl!
Ho Chi: Uh, hewwo, hi.
Richard Burns: Wow Jack Howitzer, that is a fine prison bitch. Where can I get one of those? Ha ha! Richard Burns, WCTR News!
Lianne Forget: The trial of allegedly disgraced police officers Frank Tenpenny and Eddie Pulaski began yesterday. Although Mr. Pulaski was not at court personally, prosecutors maintain both are guilty of murder, racketeering, drug-running, and sexual offenses. Defense maintain officers were just doing their job. Government officials are denying any knowledge of black helicopters that were recently seen flying over the state.
Government official: Black helicopters? Huh. What black helicopters?
Lianne Forget: That clears it up. A Las Venturas institution Caligula's forced to admit that it was recently robbed. It's the first major heist carried out on a Venturas Casino in thirty years. Government officials are not ruling out foul play. Meanwhile, no explanation has been forthcoming as to why the Sherman Dam stopped generating electricity for a few hours recently. One bystander blamed aliens, who drink electricity before deflowering virgins. I'm Lianne Forget, WCTR News. It's going to get worse. Trust me.

WCTR News #9

Available after Vertical Bird.

Transcript

WCTR News #9

Announcer: Next up, the reason you're afraid. The news!
Lianne Forget: Lianne Forget, WCTR News. Reporting what makes the administration happy. Today's top stories-do trees cause baldness? Is noise the new silent enemy of your family? And a special report on France-one nation's obsession with stand-up toilets. *splat* Breaking WCTR news! Navy officials are denying that a Hydra plane was stolen from a marine amphibious assault ship recently, despite eyewitness reports to the contrary. Tax payers on the scene are not happy.
Tax payer: I pay my taxes, that jet is supposed to be bombing schools!
Lianne Forget: The FBI is investigating possible links between the massacre of Forelli family members and the slaying of the Sindacco family. Unconfirmed reports suggest a similar style of execution was used in both hits. An official commented, 'It could be a worm hole in space.' I'm Lianne Forget, WCTR News. Don't turn it off. Trust me.

WCTR News #10

Available after Riot.

Transcript

WCTR News #10

Lianne Forget: Breaking WCTR News! We go to Richard in Los Santos!
Richard Burns: *burps* Dude... I am shit-faced! Lianne? Los Santos is in flames! This riot is spectacular, man! I mean... I can't even describe... store fronts are being smashed everywhere! There is some great... stuff to be had. There is free beer for everybody, dude, I've been loading up! This is capitalism as it was meant to be, baby! Hey! Hey! Get away from my newsvan! *gunshot* Yeah, that's right, I'm packin', ha ha, I'm Richard Burns, bitch! *more gunshots* Uh, police advise a state of martial law has been declared, you should stay in your homes, senators are burning the constitution, blah blah blippity bloopity blabbity blabbity blah, I'm Richard Burns, WCTR News! Jimmy! Jimmy! Get me some more beer out of the back of the van and clear out some space.
Jimmy: What?
Richard Burns: We're gonna get ourselves a big screen.
Lianne Forget: We'll keep you posted. Now back to regular programming.

WCTR News #11

Available after End of the Line.

Transcript

WCTR News #11

Announcer: Wanna be too scared to go outside? The news is next.
Lianne Forget: Lianne Forget, WCTR state controlled news. Pravda! Breaking news: Skateboarding making your son impotent and how to find out. Today's top stories: why hatred is good for you! Foreigners: worse than we thought! And our top story concerns the death of recently-cleared police officer Frank Tenpenny. His body was found in the aftermath of the recent riot set off by his acquittal. Coroners took several days to identify the body which had been mutilated and stripped by the homeless. More on the riot of the century! How do we keep it from happening again? Richard is on the streets with rescue workers.
Richard Burns: Uh, Lianne, I don't know if you've ever covered a riot...*burps* but the scene here is amazing! Rescue workers are opening up a car with the jaws of life right here! It is so cool!
Woman: I'm on fire, help me out of here!
Richard Burns: Hey! Shut up, bitch! I'm interviewing! You're ruining my report, shut up! Hey, hey, rescue guy, come here, come here. Richard Burns, WCTR News. How's it goin'?
Rescue worker: You dumbass, I'm trying to save this woman! Get out of here!
Richard Burns: Oh, I'm trying to save this woman, step back. Yeah, well, see if I give you any beers from my news truck, you overpaid prick! Lianne, this town is going to need some healing. Back to you. *burps* Hey, why don't you use the jaws of life on your fat wife, dude? Ha ha ha...did you hear me rank him, that was rad!
Lianne Forget: I'm so glad you're OK, Richard.
Richard Burns: Hey baby, are we off the air? I looted some great stuff for our apartment! A fat bearskin rug, a new blender, a double ender, a-
Lianne Forget: Ahem...currently we have no more information. And in entertainment news, the comeback of the year! Disgraced drunkard Madd Dogg, who was recently saved from jumping to his death by a mystery assistant, is on top of the charts with a new album and a sell-out tour plan.
Madd Dogg: Yes, people! The wait is over! Madd Dogg is back, on the top where I belong, baby! Number one! Now I wanna set the records straight at this point. I've been hearing all kinds of shit like I was drunk and I was on some drugs, and I had a breakdown and some shit, I was never in a hotel in Las Venturas. That's bullshit. They just hatin' on a playa, man, they've been hatin' on me since I was in baby shoes. I was in the studio, yeah! Took a little time off. I watched y'all rappers get out there and try to do your thing, but now I'm ready to drop this dog shit on yo' whack-ass rappers. I got a new manager, his name is Carl Johnson, and we gonna take this rap game to a new level by storm, for the second time! Yeah bitches, sign up right now to get in my ho roster. It's gon' be big. Yeah, get-take a number ho, take a number.
Lianne Forget: I'm Lianne Forget, WCTR News. This is the end, and a new beginning.

Trivia

  • GTA's British origins are in evidence to those who listen carefully to some of the news reports; despite the game being set in the US, dialogue occasionally includes British-isms, such as using the plural "drugs" at all times, i.e. "A drugs dealer" rather than "A drug dealer", singular, which is the norm in American broadcasting.
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